Push/pull in bed

Fritz_Frauenraub · 2019-04-24T20:29:23+00:00

Women want to be fucked by a man who seems to be doing what he wants to do, but who is actually taking her subtle cues. Like tangoing.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2019-04-24T18:11:19+00:00

Interesting. Assuming you learn from your own self identified mistakes and correct any idiotic behaviors, let’s add some color.

When she tells you what to do in bed, and you promptly oblige, you are not in your frame. You’re in hers. It’s a shit test and surprise surprise she doesn’t cum or is almost there, but not quite. That’s because you failed her shit test.

Like when she wants to change a position despite her not being uncomfortable. You lost the frame 5-10 seconds prior, probably out of your robotic pumping/ absent mindedness. Not good.

But distinguish the above from a genuine discomfort statement/ hard boundary / safe word which of course you should be watching out for. Slowly, gradually expand her sexual boundaries. This is a must in a LTR lest she gets bored/ stops viewing you as her alpha. Consciously and subconsciously.

So recognize that a woman wants to be taken, wants a man to “just get it” (cue 1 above) but also feel safe (cue 2. above). For 2, read and apply stuff from r/BDSMAdvice, for example.

Also, I’d try to give her - on average - at least 2 orgasms before you get your own. Per session.

Have fun.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-04-24T18:38:56+00:00

You're getting closer.

Your wife desires to be taken from emotion to emotion in everything, all the while the oak is the undercurrent of her emotional waves. Working on mastering this in the bedroom or your relationship can lead to great, wonderful fulfilling sex and fun.

That's what you want, right? A fun wife who loves to have sex with you and adds value to your life?

You have to continue to move her emotions around at will like you're a master of her moods and you do that by displaying your strong masculine frame.

Imagine your wife is sitting across the room from you. You catch her glancing at you and you maintain eye contact with her slightly longer than a brief stare, and you can sense her energy penetrating you, begging you to give her something. You don't know what it is, but you can feel that through her - she desires something from you. You notice her touch her hair, and then she bites her lip. Now you know what she wants. Two different versions of you walk up to her:

A 15-year old version of you approaches her, horny as fuck at the slight sense of attraction and approaches her. You're wearing a pair of jeans and a tshirt, hair unkempt, looking the part of a horny 15 year old. As you approach her she looks you up and down and then you open your mouth: "I'm horny. Let's fuck."
A mature 40 year old version of you approaches her, horny as fuck but you've taken your time to finish your scotch. You've found a way to convert that desire for sex into desire for sex with her and the horny feelings are gone. You desire to be inside of her, to feel all of her, and for her to desire you in the same way. As you approach her she looks you up and down. You slowly extend your hand and place it on the back of her hair, letting your fingers run through her hair down to the base of her neck. You raise her chin with you finger, look into her eyes and say: "I want you. Let's go."

Which one of those versions are you trying to be? You've made good progress.

BTW - Biff from Back to the Future is #1

Redpillbrigade17 · 2019-04-24T17:52:57+00:00

My 2 cents.:

You are way over-thinking this.

A lot of this is just personal preference and also timing (sometimes they enjoy x other times they enjoy y).

It's like a restaurant choice. Give a few options, once there if she doesn't order something or is having trouble deciding then you help her pick.

IMO unless a chick is seriously mentally damaged she doesn't want to get injured or suffocated for real... common sense.

Don't Rambo to prove a point, there is no end game goal of having her spontaneously combust due to your prowess <and that'd be a mess to clean up>.

The key points are to get out of her mindset and create better sessions with leading and variety.

[deleted] · 2019-04-24T18:26:23+00:00

Looks like you are using it right to me.

I don't know who came up with it. The idea is you cannot be redundant. Have to keep mixing it up.

Sounds like you are doing great, keep it up.

Also great to watch porn with the wife, we love it.

RStonePT · 2019-04-24T19:18:31+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

BobbyPeru · 2019-04-24T19:35:11+00:00

However, she is clearly showing me with her body (sometimes words too) that it is becoming too much.

Bill Burr has a bit where he talks about wanting to buy a pumpkin for Halloween, but he feels like a faggot doing it alone. So, he brings his girlfriend with and as soon as she sees The pumpkins she goes crazy of course. He gets pissed off because “she gets to be a faggot.” Then, it makes him so pissed off that he has this visual of smashing her face into the Punkin, and what she would be thinking while her face was in there. “It’s so orange. Is this going to be the last thing I ever see?”

Yeah, being rough and everything is cool, but don’t Waterboard her face with your cock

screechhater · 2019-04-26T00:31:49+00:00

Honestly, I am a fuck machine once I start.

No fucks are given if an orgasm happens on her end, but she is so deep, that I have carte Blanche.

The level to be at is cock in the mouth and the comment “my pussy tastes good”. Seriously, fuck as hard as you can, be in control (being present) and change it up constantly. I fucked a mouth on a desk recently.

Be attractive, masculine and fuck until your rocks expire. Recharge and pound again.

I have been told “put it where you want, as long as it’s in me”. You gotta be the whole package, in frame and on point.

Reduce the push/pull thoughts, up the game and kino, tease like hell during fore play. Foreplay actually starts with your wardrobe, accessories, posture and frame.

FinancialLeopard5 · 2019-04-26T19:41:23+00:00

Sorry to say that but I've got a hard one here.

Giant-__-Otter · 2019-04-30T09:38:21+00:00

I introduced a safe word a while back and told her its her job to use it if she is hurt.

Two issues here:

one technical: you do also have a go-slow word right (e.g. "yellow" if the safe word is "red")? You also need a safe gesture for when she cannot vocalise.
another fundamental: her responsibility to use it is only partly true. Of the utmost importance is that you don't put yourselves in a position that she ever has to (think of nuclear deterrence strategies, the red button exists, but really, we don't want to push it).
- As many members hinted, by going real slow and debriefing her you will know where her limits are. But be ready to surprise her (doesn't have to be about pushing the limits on roughness, just trying something both of you haven't thought of, like spitting in her mouth, or fingering her/getting her to hand you her thong in a public setting).
- I am in disagreement with SGM that a man shouldn't have limits in BDSM, so I advise you to make your hard limits known, especially if she turns out to be very kinky. I've yet to meet a girl who in into being hit with closed fists, or pegging me, or being suffocated to unconsciouness, but either way it's going to be a no for me.
- Finally it is your reponsibility as a Dom to be watchful and in control. For the whole scene. To get better at this nothing replaces experience. A year ago I used to get carried away pounding/spanking/slapping, now not so much. I managed to get that actor/spectator duality fined-tuned. Meditation helps, and I always go back to RSD Madison's "benevolent king's frame". What would a prince do to her little submissive courtesan? He would care for her (re-read the passages in SGM about mixing D and E, girls really like it), deliver what she needs, let her explore her darkest fantasies.

j_arbuckle2012 · 2019-04-30T18:34:02+00:00

Where's the emotional connection?

Is she even aroused? Do you know what that looks and feels like?

Immersion faggot, do you have it?!

suprathepeg · 2019-05-10T16:36:02+00:00

Number one thing to consider with extreme sex, BDSM play etc is that it’s not like you see in porn. Even though some of the more realistic BDSM porn is pretty close to the real thing they still gloss over the negotiations before hand, the care during play and the aftercare when you’re done.

So negotiation. If she tells you she has a hard limit before hand or during, you do not cross that line. Crossing it breaks the trust in a way you may never get back. When you are in control you are also responsible for her. That doesn’t mean you can’t get close to it and push her comfort levels, it just means you do not cross. Never breach this trust even if she seems to be enjoying it. You can always renegotiate boundaries after you’re done. When it comes to porn the negotiations are typically in contract form and fairly extensive. I’ve signed a waiver for pretty casual group bondage play, be aware of your circumstances.

In my opinion the care during and the after care are the pull part of the push/pull dynamic in BDSM. You push her limits and you draw her back with soft, passionate touching, holding etc. If Ive fucked the shit out of a girl and she’s a drooling, makeup running down her face mess after you better believe I’m holding her tight after like she’s the most valuable thing in the world. If it’s a long session then periods of soft passionate interchange during play keep the connection strong. If she’s hanging from my ceiling I’m trying to always maintain contact, if she’s tied up like a pretzel she’s getting a lot of intimate contact. You get the idea.

The goal is that your sub is giving herself to you. She knows you’re gonna take control and take her on a wild ride but she also knows your going to take care of her. Remember once you leave the realm of vanilla sex you as a man dominating a woman can easily damage her. If this person is your GF, wife and/or mother of your kids it’s probably a good idea to remember you’re playing a long game.

There are a lot of experienced Doms that will never touch certain types of play, cause they’re smart, disciplined and not fucking retards. Guide yourself accordingly.

red-sfpplus · 2019-04-24T18:44:48+00:00

I cant tell if this is a shit post to dog me or not.

Being an autist in a relationship is one thing.

Raping your woman’s face is just stupid.

What good is a safe word if you are not going to respect it?

Title	Push/pull in bed
Author	Daddy_ThunderCock
Upvotes	4
Comments	47
Date	April 24, 2019 4:20 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bgwltu/pushpull_in_bed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/pushpull-in-bed.236028 https://theredarchive.com/post/236028

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