Male 33 6’2” Weight-200 19% BF Married 8 years together 13 years Two kids newborn and 6 year old

Hey, This past year has been a difficult one for me. Towards the beginning of this year I felt like my declining sex life (usually 2-3x per/month) and lack of desire were really getting to me. I felt like in my marriage there is not as much passion between my wife and I, as I would like. I guess I had always been validation seeking but this got turned up as I felt like things were worse. We are each other’s only sexual partners.

Without knowing about this Reddit I decided to make changes I have lost around 55 lbs 255>200 (around 19%) body fat and plan to get down to 10-15% body fat. I also started lifting weights. I went to individual therapy and dealt with guilt issues I had surrounding my father dying building a playhouse for me and my sibling when we were little, along with codependence problems I had being raised by a single alcoholic mother. I stopped arguing as much with my wife, as I realized no matter what I said it ended up being a lose-lose scenario for me I. Which she would twist my words around me. I feel more independent and no longer feel like I crave validation or need it like I did before.

In oct, my wife accused me of cheating, doing drugs, or being bipolar. When I stood pat against these accusations (in my mind like a rock or tree) she broke down and said she wanted us to work and that we were going to have sex more and be closer. Things have been rocky but they have been getting better, my wife has been letting me make decisions for our family, been kinder, and our sex has been gone up and she told it was going to go up further.

Just recently in Dec, I found this space and lo and behold a lot of the stuff I was doing fits this mold. I read parts of the sidebar now, have ordered NMMNG, WISNIFG, and MMSLP. I have read posts, and watched videos by Rian Stone.

I just found out my wife is pregnant again with our 3rd child. I saw that the dread guide says and say the dread guide said Not to implement dread during pregnancy. Also given that I have been just more so organically making changes maybe a bit Rambo style given I didn’t have a a guide at the time I’m kinda of uncertain what to do next. I was planning on reading all the books I have got and continuing to lose weight, lift weights, not be validation sponge, avoid DEERing (while lightly implementing A A, AM, and fogging), and be a rock/tree for our family. When I got to 15% BF I was going to Change my wardrobe as I am drowning in my clothes now.

Should I hold off on any further changes until after the pregnancy? Should I consider starting over on dread after dread after the pregnancy given I just randomly had been implementing these tools? Also, is it possible to be a little too withdrawn when implementing change (I’m just really cautious when I act now to try and make sure it is what I want and not just validation seeking)?

Thanks for any response and reading my wall of text. I don’t want to do things that might only make my situation worse given the pregnancy, but also don’t want to wait another year to keep moving forward as well

Edit 1- I can’t say enough how good it has felt to lead our family finally, be accountable to make decisions, take ownership my actions and their consequences, and not look for my wife to be my mommy (I know it is f**cked, but probably true). while she did not outright say it I feel like my wife hated me for not being a leader of our family, as much as she has been initially resistant to my change and trying to take the reigns.