I broke this Summer and had a panic attack. I allowed life to weigh me down and tried to do too much. Lost job and well being. Now, it's like an uphill battle with wife. She lost respect for me. I showed her an overwhelming amount of weakness and now she notices my faults and calls them out regularly.

My mission has become unclear and the ship has lost direction. My attempts to lead are met with combating alternatives. My attempts at sex are met with cold shrugs and roll overs. "This person and this person never have sex either. We don't have to." "You only want to spend time with me when you want sex." I try to spend time with her and she crawls in her hole gets high and turns off from everything including me.

For me, things have improved since my panic episode. Starting to earn more money and have been consistent at the box. Crossfit has kept me sane and improved me mentally.

With wife, it just seems there is a barrier. Our only common ground is our two year old.

I dont want to be the partner thats like, "hey look at me. Im doing all these things and getting better."

At the same time..

Nothing is good enough for her... While I know things are improving on my end... it can be difficult living with someone who sucks the joy out of life.

She paints this picture of me as this crazy person and it makes me question my sanity.

Mission is unclear, but I'm progressing. I believe in my capabilities as a citizen and want to do the right thing. I am on the right path. One that makes me happy.

Where do I go?

Advice would be appreciated.