Wife's permission

SBIII · 2019-06-25T20:22:07+00:00

You fucked your wife's sister?

Kudos, man.

I didn't read the rest.

red-sfpplus · 2019-06-25T19:42:33+00:00

I just wanna know who was a better fuck?

Her or her sister?

Never banged sister siblings. Def on the bucket list.

man_in_the_world · 2019-06-26T00:43:52+00:00

Having shifted your marriage from hard to nightmare mode by having an affair in the beta way, you have lost the luxury of hiding behind STFU while working through the phases of developing your frame. To handle this you need an authentic vision and narrative for your post-affair marriage and changes that provoke her insecurities, and the frame to construct and congruently convey it. You have to construct this for yourself, because it must convey your personal motivation and mission for your career in healthcare, and convey the values that you genuinely intend to live by.

Once you have established a vision and narrative, you impersonalize and defuse these arguments by deflecting them to the vision and narrative instead of yourself. That is, you always flip this into your frame (working toward a better, more fulfilling future according to your vision for yourself and your family) from her frame (insecurity about your cheating). But first you have to establish and express that vision and narrative, in accordance with your frame.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-06-25T21:17:40+00:00

Shit test is about compliance and checking frame for weakness. Comfort test is about her insecurity. I think she wants compliance but this is rooted in her insecurity. Since you handled the affair like a good little blue pill boy, mommy expects compliance and probably thinks she is entitled to it.

If you had established frame already, you would do whatever you want, but you don't have it and I don't think you understand what abundance mentality really is.

What to do? Get your bitch ass in the gym and lift. Read Rational Male and pay attention because you first need to establish frame for many months and be a man who simply does what he wants, when he wants to, while meeting her needs for security. You are not even close yet.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-06-25T19:04:28+00:00

Now I love my wife very much and what we have is going great.

Well that's a problem, you have to hate her a bit to make this work.

Dude you fucked her sister, there is a good chance this isnt even worth the trouble. Accept the fact you might have fucked this up permanently and move on.

Do not alter your education and professional plans for her. Good God man that is a huge mistake.

You still care way to much about your wife and what she thinks and feels.

Lose the guilt, it's not serving you.

tspitsatgp · 2019-06-25T23:24:00+00:00

I dunno dude, you seem to have created a narrative for yourself that is going to hold you back.

E.g. you cheated on your wife (though it was mostly an emotional fair!) with her sister because of innate red pill characteristics? And your emotional reaction to your own affair, the indescribable guilt, made you confess and turned you blue pill?

Sounds like there is a backstory there which you aren’t sharing. I wonder why.

Think about this from a different perspective, more of an MRP angle than a straight RP angle.

You are the leader of your family who is looking to build a career while maintaining a captain/first mate dynamic with your wife and keeping your young family together.

What would a leader do?

NightFire45 · 2019-06-25T17:35:24+00:00

You should definitely not take the job. Perhaps you will get visitation with your balls on weekends and holidays.

scarmine34 · 2019-06-25T17:38:43+00:00

Of course it is a shit test. They're almost all shit tests.

Remember that you are the oak tree and she is a storm of emotion. That means this isn't going to pass easily.

The first thing is that I think you've lost your abundance mentality. Just because you can go out and cheat doesn't mean that you are going to. She should always be a bit afraid that you're going to cheat on her.

You need to pat her on the head and empathize with her. "I understand why you think that. You're not crazy for thinking that. But this was always part of the deal. We've got a good thing going here and I almost fucked it up, but I'm not going to."

The bottom line is that this shit test could apply anywhere. When is she going to pull this card next - when your buddy is having his bachelor party and you're not allowed to see strippers? When you suggest a guys weekend away? When there is a conference for your current job?

You need to address the objection. Maybe in some way that gives her comfort.

I travel a lot for work and while I don't want to get in to my own story, suffice to say that I told her that it wasn't going to happen again, and then discussed ways that I can provide her some more comfort. All it took was a 5 minute nightly facetime, first just with her and later to say goodnight to the kids. A goodnight text, a morning text, and the occasional call during the day when I was driving.

This made her understand I was thinking about her, but I was able to do what was best for me and for the family in keeping the job and taking a promotion that meant even more travel.

I'm curious what the rest of you think here - did I do the right thing? How would you have handled it?

useful_stranger · 2019-06-25T18:17:20+00:00

Hahaha Classic !! As long as it’s family, she doesn’t care that much. Her own sister !! If you watch little sister girls play with each other you’ll understand: they identify with each other so much, they compete yet they collaborate so well. Watch them learn sexuality and sometimes even play with each other..

For her hamster brain it was kind of cute and maybe even sexy that you fooled around with her sissie. And then taking into account that she still had you long term, for beta provisioning, even better! She wins after all! It’s not cheating if it’s close family and if she gets to keep you, even more under control than before.

Title	Wife's permission
Author	UsedToBeAKing
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	June 24, 2019 11:05 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c4xr35/wifes_permission/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wifes-permission.243588 https://theredarchive.com/post/243588

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