What constitutes sexual immorality for divorce?

Deep_Strength · 2021-03-24T16:37:15+00:00

This is a very contested topic because "porneia" (fornication or sexual immorality) is used in various contexts within the Scriptures. Specifically, however, in the context of divorce it's likely, at least based on the interpretation of the early Church fathers and Church, the grounds for divorce is:

Only actual fornication (e.g. having sex) with another woman (for a husband) or another man (for the wife).
According to some early Church fathers, the believer should divorce the unrepentant sinner BUT they should take them back if they repent
The believer cannot remarry (e.g. 1 Corinthians 7 - should not leave their spouse but if they do they should stay single or reconcile).

I detailed a long analysis of all the Scriptures on divorce in this post if you want to read it. In the context of the Matthew 5 and 19 "exception clauses" I find it likely it refers to Deuteronomy 22 on legitimate reasons why marriages might be invalid (e.g. Jesus uses the word for FORNICATION and not the word for ADULTERY and other reasoning) rather than Deuteronomy 24 which is reasons for divorce based on textual evidence. Included in this is Mark 10 and Luke 16 (no exception clauses for divorce) and the fact that this is also supported by Romans 7 and 1 Corinthians 7 (again, no divorce period). Additionally, you made vows to God that are unbreakable for marriage, so breaking your own vows is not something you do because another person did something.

https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2018/11/24/divorce-part-7-final/

Basically, if you're a Christian then marriage is permanent. There is no concept of divorce. No remarriage unless your spouse actually dies. If they do commit adultery you should try to help them repent. If you can't live with them you can stay single or reconcile.

Many Protestant denominations allow remarriage for all kinds of things including adultery, but I find that a blasé interpretation of the Scriptures. Catholic marriage is permanent if everyone knows their Biblical marital roles and responsibilities (I find this to be the most accurate interpretation of Scripture). Orthodox is similar to Catholic but they may allow remarriage (but it's more penitent on a 2nd) only for the offended spouse due to the nature of this being a fallen world and it may be better than them being single and constantly in sexual sin. I can resonate with that even though it's not particularly Scriptural, but I could not recommend that.

TheChristianAlpha · 2021-03-24T16:47:04+00:00

Matthew defines sexual immorality the most clearly.

Here are the grounds for divorce: “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:31-32

Here is where Matthew clarifies what sexual immorality is: "This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:18-19

Notice that Matthew said that Joseph was faithful to the law (justified in his decision) in divorcing his wife.

This would be consistent with what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians where a wife can only remarry if her husband dies. "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:39

So in conclusion sexual immorality would be if your betrothed (in USA it would be your fiancée) had sex with another man before you guys had sex on your wedding night. If it was after then that would be considered adultery.

Here's is a very thorough article on divorce and sexual immorality by John Piper explaining all this. It's about a 20 min read but very worth it. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/divorce-and-remarriage-a-position-paper

redwall92 · 2021-03-24T16:59:38+00:00

Why are you asking this question? It has been posted about before in this sub. Search for the posts dealing with your questions.

If you've got a relationship question dealing with something in your life, then open up and ask away.

vinnievu141 · 2021-03-24T16:19:42+00:00

I assume sexual immorality is defined as lusting over a woman that is not the man's wife (if you even look at a woman with sexual intent, it's like adultery, I think that's what Jesus said).

I believe a woman cannot remarry if she divorces her husband (it is also like adulery?). I remember reading it in the Bible once.

Proverbs_31_2-3 · 2021-04-06T18:17:10+00:00

Several things here:

Adultery in the Bible is not the same as adultery in English. In the Bible, adultery is a man sleeping with another man's wife, and the sin is against the other man. Or a married woman sleeping with a man who is not her husband, and her sin is against her husband. Adultery is never a man's sin against his own wife, because a man is permitted to have more than one wife.
A man's sexual relationship with a second woman besides his first wife is either authorized, if he takes her to himself as a wife by covenant; or it is fornication, if he has not official tie with the second woman; or it is adultery, if the second woman is another man's wife; or it is incest, if the second woman is too close of a family tie to him. In no case is this a sin against his first wife however.
Almost no modern Christian groups follow the Biblical law and model. Almost all groups homo-sexualize the sexual laws, as if men and women are all the same in what they have been commanded - they're not.

I don't think Deep Strength's strong statement that there is no such thing as divorce for Christians is really true. God certainly doesn't want divorce though. But the Bible clearly states that a man can divorce his wife for sexual sin; and a Christian husband or wife can be freed from their marriage bond (not under slavery) if the other spouse is a non-believer and refuses to live with the Christian spouse anymore. Exodus 21:10-11 also gives a woman the right to leave her husband if he takes a second woman and reduces the first wife's allotment of food, clothing, or sexual intimacy.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 assumes a woman will remarry after she has been divorced by her husband. Jesus also talks to the Samaritan woman and tells her she has had five husbands and the man she is with now is not her husband (John 4:18). But Paul instructs a Christian woman who leaves her husband to either remain unmarried or to reconcile to her husband. She should reconcile to her husband because he is her rightful leader, even if he has fallen into sin. 1 Peter 3 tells women to quietly submit to their husbands even if they are non-Christian, in the same way that bondservants were to submit to even abusive masters (see 1 Peter 2:18-25) and as Jesus submitted to the ferocity of his crucifiers. See also 1 Peter 3:1, "in the same way...".

Mark 10:12 tells us, "A woman who divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

The passages in Matthew and Luke that deal with a man marrying a "divorced woman" are complicated. They seem to contradict the implied permission in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 for a woman who was divorced by her husband to marry another. However, it should be noted that the word "divorced" in these verses is in the Greek form called middle/passive. It could appropriately be translated either "has been divorced [by her husband]" or "has, herself, divorced [her husband]". This second option could be a reference to the well known case at the time of Herodias, wife of the ruler Philip, who applied to Rome for a divorce, and when she received it, married her half-brother King Herod. So Jesus may have been referring to this kind of situation. "A man who marries a woman who has herself divorced [her husband] also commits adultery." This would harmonize with Mark 10:12 where a woman who divorces her husband and marries again commits adultery. And it harmonizes with 1 Corinthians 7 where a woman who leaves her husband is to remain unmarried or reconcile with her husband. And it harmonizes with Deuteronomy 24:1-4 where a woman is implied to be able to remarry if her husband sends her away. Thus not one jot or tittle of the Law passes away by Jesus command, and the OT and NT are in harmony.

Also note that although most modern translations will use the words "divorce" and "separate", in the original Greek and Hebrew these have no relation or true overlap with our modern English/American legal concepts of "divorce" and "separation". Modern translations take words that mean "to send away" and translate them as "divorce". And they take words that mean "to leave, to abandon" and translate them as "separate". You can't map our modern legal words "divorce" and "separate" accurately onto the Greek and Hebrew concepts, so beware of that pitfall. I did a quick review a few days ago, and if you look at online Bibles, the least confusing in regard to this vocabulary is the original KJV. It uses depart instead of separate, and put away instead of divorce.

If you want to read extensively about divorce and remarriage from a through-the-Bible perspective, this resources is available free online. It is a whole book and quite long.

Divorce and Re-Marriage: Recovering the Biblical View | Bible.org

Also, I just watched this video on divorce and remarriage by Mike Winger on YouTube. I don't agree with everything he says but I still think it is a good summary of the Bible passages, and he strongly discourages divorce (as Jesus did) while also admitting to the places the Bible seems to allow for divorce. It's 3 hours long.

Divorce and Remarriage: EVERYTHING the Bible Says about It. - Bing video

So you can either read a really long book, or watch a really long video.

MaxwellHillbilly · 2021-04-07T11:13:39+00:00

Context about your situation would help

Title	What constitutes sexual immorality for divorce?
Author	NoC2H6OnlyGas
Upvotes	6
Comments	30
Date	March 24, 2021 2:58 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askRPC
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/mc7ulx/what_constitutes_sexual_immorality_for_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/what-constitutes-sexual-immorality-for-divorce.1189382 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189382

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