About being in therapy

Goldfulgore · 2014-11-18T09:03:16+00:00

You kind of answered most of your questions.

How about being in therapy?

nope

How should one handle the topic in long term relationships?

Being comfortable with yourself being in therapy and not giving a fuck about what LTR thinks of you. Own it or she WILL use it against you in the long term.

How does one own the fact that they are in therapy? How do they respond when the woman tries to use it against them?

Learn to define yourself. Your self perception must be the most important opinion about yourself. Just as strangers don't define you, nor does your LTR.

Can a woman actually see (or even admire) the strength it takes to go into therapy? Or is that a lost cause since it will always be considered weakness?

No. The only thing that women truly care about is themselves and their hypergamistic nature. The sooner you realize this, the better for you. Otherwise you'll be seeking recognition for your "hard" efforts throughout your relationship and that's a very bad position to be in.

fnordsnord · 2014-11-18T05:45:42+00:00

It's none of her business unless you are getting married. Then she's entitled to know your health issues so she can bail and look for something better. (Better for her to bail before the marriage than after, and you're not going to be able to keep therapy from her forever.)

Misteralcala · 2014-11-18T06:38:38+00:00

If you feel that therapy improves you, then do it - treat it as exercise for your mind. Just remember that whatever you discuss is confidential and it's not productive to talk about it outside of your therapist's office.

slcjosh · 2014-11-18T06:34:55+00:00

Am I the only one who has seen Sopranos? It's your business and yours alone.

asd1100 · 2014-11-18T09:31:58+00:00

How about being in therapy? How should one handle the topic in long term relationships?

IF you don't have a couple of hours of you time, your relationship sucks. At all times you should have the ability to cheat, don't actually cheat but have the logistics to keep her hamster turning and require her to reinforce the belief that you love her, this accounts for more than if you buy 110 iphones to propose to her. Because a solipsistic rationalisation is more effective than a cliche sentence.

How about being in therapy? How should one handle the topic in long term relationships?

By not talking about it, do you describe to her your shits? It's a private matter.

How do they respond when the woman tries to use it against them?

You don't. You NEVER engage with her "angry arguments" those are just agressive shittests ment to break your frame and get your to her irrational and emotional level, where she wins. Do not engage with her anger, EVER.

Can a woman actually see (or even admire) the strength it takes to go into therapy?

Hint, if you would like a woman to be somehow or act in a particular fashion you are deluding yourself. The notion is a projection. And you must stop the day dreaming at one.

Or is that a lost cause since it will always be considered weakness?

If she is a fucked up puppy that has way bigger problems than you(obviously and colectively agreed upon bigger issues) she won't really care. But there are a lot more reasons to give up on such a woman than her not accepting that your are broke.

FinnianWhitefir · 2014-11-18T17:44:39+00:00

Lots of good standard advice here. To also include, I went into some therapy for self-esteem and social anxiety stuff and just improved myself 100%. Something about being forced to interact honestly with someone, being forced to validate yourself to a higher-status male, having someone objective to call you on your bullshit and make you think through why you look at things a certain way. I highly suggest it.

However, there is a huge stigma in the US against it. The idea that you must be mentally damaged. I personally would never mention it just like I'd never mention other potentially negative showings of myself, like if I spent a while unemployed.

This is a very interesting counter to it: http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/28/health/argentina-psychology-therapists/

RobertCarraway · 2014-11-18T06:29:45+00:00

These are the humble thoughts of a man who has his fair share of neurosis:

Don't talk about it. Fnordsnord is right, they'll find out your issues eventually, but she will respect you more if she knows that whatever issues you have - you deal with them in-house. They care far more about the way the issues manifest in our interactions with them than the problems themselves. Your problems can be pretty damn bad, but as long as you never lean on her, she can accept it.

It's important to choose a woman that you feel you deserve. I'm not saying date down -but be realistic. Date your level. Pick a woman who if she says "Well you go to therapy" you can scoff and say "Woman, you better thank your lucky stars I do, because if I didn't, I'd be out of your league. In fact, maybe you should hope I don't sort my issues out."

If you can honestly say that, then there is nothing to worry about because you and her both know you have factored it into your market value. If you can't say that, then you should either sort your shit out (or barring that) find a woman who is in your league when you factor in the weaknesses that we are forced to hide.

Title	About being in therapy
Author	onetwothree__
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	November 18, 2014 5:29 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2mn068/about_being_in_therapy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/about-being-in-therapy.143771 https://theredarchive.com/post/143771

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