"Admit it, you're hooked." Shit test?

AlphaAsFAQ · 2015-04-02T05:37:10+00:00

deleted

synadmin · 2015-04-02T06:48:49+00:00

This one is easy. This girl is strictly plate material. Not worth an LTR by a long shot. If you actually "like" this girl you have already fucked up and may as well move on, or at least test boundaries and learn from it.

Once you internalize the fact that this girl is not worth your time, the whole situation will be alot easier for you to handle.

sparta126 · 2015-04-02T15:59:51+00:00

If your truly the Trp version of yourself her talking to exes doesn't even phase you. Your SMV is high and they are orbiters. It sounds like your social skills are a bit behind. As a man you need to lead the conversation where you want it to go. She brings up a boyfriend , tell her history is better where it's at, in the past. She does it again you next her.

The no kisses next time was a shit test. You didn't fail but you didn't show your Smv either. If she says no kisses next time I would respond with , I'll still get my kisses, only not from you. Or respond with I'll see if, insert her friend or competition feels the same way.

fnordsnord · 2015-04-02T18:27:36+00:00

"My comfort has nothing to do with it. It's just disrespectful."

tallwheel · 2015-04-02T07:31:26+00:00

Is she right? Are you hooked? If you're not, then this shouldn't be a problem. If you continue with this girl for much longer it should become crystal clear to both of you who is hooked on who. (Hint: You want her to be the one who is hooked on you.)

redbluepilling · 2015-04-02T07:43:24+00:00

First red flag is she keeps in contact with her exes. When I brought it up...

Asking her about such things tends to come off less like 'screening' and more like 'potentially jealous, controlling, or afraid of the competition' and implies you're already thinking of the possibility of a relationship--which is the wrong frame to be in. You should have options and/or at least not be so eager to jump in or even consider a relationship with her at this stage.

Also, by her saying "You are in charge of this relationship" you jumped and bought right in to it. She wasn't kidding bro, you are hooked. That quote, too, is good and bad. She says she wants you to lead, but also, she granted you that power. She could be unintentionally manipulative where she makes you think you're in control, but with that, she's able to bend you to do what she wants. (But, don't worry about power-dynamics. Just get your frame of mind in order. That's one thing you can control and has a massive influence on everything you say, do, and stemming from that, the dynamic between you two. Essentially, don't try to focus on making sure you have the upper hand. That's a great way to lose and also blind yourself to enjoyment.)

She's going to keep trying to take and take more of your time and attention. [See THE BETAIZATION PROCESS, caps for emphasis because it's massively important to TRP.] The shit tests here were to judge how invested you are in her. The first response was okay, but not great, (agree and amplify / ignore / amused mastery are ideal). When she pressed you further, you got overly serious (subtly, it implied that you actually thought at least part of her was serious. Really, the idea of hanging out with a girl and not kissing shouldn't even be within the realm of possibility, it should be outside of your reality. Instead, you conveyed a bit otherwise.)

ok fine, if u won't admit it than next time we hang out you won't be getting any kisses.

Perfect opportunity to keep up the 'I'm not hooked/I have options/"I'm not that easy"' mentality: Coy/semi-jokingly say, "No kissing? I guess we won't be hanging out" (again this should come from the frame where you know she isn't serious and would of course want to kiss you because you're so great).

Advice: You're spending too much effort on trying to find red flags and analyze her (which also shows you're too invested at this stage). Really, you should analyze yourself and get your overarching mentality right. Also, you didn't have sex? She sounds like she'll try to limit it to kissing next time you see her...this is a fitness test to see if you can excite her further and quell any LMR or ASD. Ideally, she'd like you to be a man to excite her and fuck her.

Careful with rationalization, you have a tendency to justify yourself a lot to prove how good you're doing things. The mind is jaded. Be more self critical and don't just assume you're doing things right and then never address the issue.

Want a specific example?:

I travel 4 days out of the week for work so I'm a busy man and my time is precious so I treat it as such

we txt quite often ... and she calls 1x a day

Your actions don't match your words. Once you justified and told yourself that your time is valuable, you failed to see that you're (by most people's standards) talking to this girl you haven't fucked way too much. You further justified it by saying "always let her initiate", which is good, but again, were blind to the larger concept because you convinced yourself you were doing it right/'following the rule'.

oldredder · 2015-04-02T07:45:58+00:00

You're writing here about how she's getting you near to begging for kisses but you're holding frame not to. Or trying.

Are you 15?

Fuuuuck.

I guess a boy's gotta start somewhere but I think you can short-cut this bullshit, get a few girls who aren't long distance and just fuck them. Like hard in the mouth, switch up, hard in her pussy and toss her aside and later that day take another.

Really.

Just try it for your own sake. Jus' sayin.

secret_barber · 2015-04-02T21:20:48+00:00

This is all horseshit. Stop texting so much. Stop calling so much. Set up another date and fuck her. Then, come back and ask questions your relationship dynamic. Certainly don't talk to her about what your relationship is, isn't, might or could be.

Soultrane9 · 2015-04-02T08:13:55+00:00

The commest so far are about her but not about you. I want to talk about you.

I tell her sarcasticly that "I'm not that easy"

I feel you are trying to do the fake it until make it approach. Which is good, but you haven't made it yet and an experienced woman will pick it up from you body language.

Also, since it's not obvious to you, she is already playing control with sex. But with kisses.

Let's forget about red flags and what about her. Face it rationally, your frame is in the developing from zero by your efforts (keep it up) by is unstable at the moment.

You are really far away from being relationship material and she is also way off from it. Understand that major frame lose means you lost. Always. Espacialy on the first meeting, in a relationship this girl would tear you to pieces.

Title	"Admit it, you're hooked." Shit test?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	April 2, 2015 5:22 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/315svl/admit_it_youre_hooked_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/admit-it-youre-hooked-shit-test.191311 https://theredarchive.com/post/191311

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