Always looking for validation

Auvergnat · 2017-07-03T10:41:06+00:00

read "No More Mister Nice Guy"

Pluglord · 2017-07-03T10:37:05+00:00

Look at the relationship with your parents both present and past. If that sucks, you know the source of your problems and can start there

Xagan737 · 2017-07-03T18:26:26+00:00

Yeah definitely read No More Mr Nice Guy, but also look into boosting testosterone. I find three grams of ashwaghanda really makes me feel more dominant and I take less crap from people. I think this is something you have to improve by exposure and whatnot - it's not a quick fix. Maybe practise your assertiveness by phoning up hotels and requesting the price of a room, then saying you think you can get a better price elsewhere but thank you for your time. Might be scary at first but you'll get used to it. Start small man and build up. You'll get there

PreOrgasmGroanLness · 2017-07-03T14:12:34+00:00

Keep finding out and realizing what makes YOU and ONLY YOU happy. Write it down sometimes if necessary. Writing down takes 10 seconds but can sprout into a journey that has helped me more than anything so far

Red-Curious · 2017-07-03T16:42:10+00:00

As /u/Auvergnat said, NMMNG can help, but I think the first 3 chapters of WISNIFG (When I Say No I Feel Guilty) are much, much more on point and applicable. He goes through this "bill of rights" that will probably solve your problem and explains it from an internal psychological viewpoint that will help you agree with adopting that right within your own life. The rest of the book is all about tactics on how to enforce those rights when other people peck away at them.

CapNBalls · 2017-07-03T11:32:02+00:00

If only there was a book on the sidebar that was completely about this...

Go read NMMNG.

argcisman · 2017-07-03T14:38:14+00:00

I found personally that videogames made me look for attention and validation. Like doing a clutch on CS or a pentakill on LoL. Ever sinced I stop playing I no longer seek validation from others. If you play aswell I would stop for a month and then see if it also affects you in the same way.

walawalawa · 2017-07-04T00:00:04+00:00

I have a similar co-dependence I've been battling for years.

Now...after conscious effort I'm much better at managing this internal neediness.

The shift has to be from external to internal validation: Is what I'm doing benefiting ME?

The biggest obstacle is recognizing the "disapproval" of others is not something "real"...feelings aren't facts.

There are some positive aspects: being co-dependent means you're more forward thinking and sensitive to your own needs.

Title	Always looking for validation
Author	alwaysgrind
Upvotes	20
Comments	13
Date	July 3, 2017 10:18 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6kz2vd/always_looking_for_validation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/always-looking-for-validation.93580 https://theredarchive.com/post/93580

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