Anyone here a "Highly Sensitive Person"?

wessyy · 2021-03-10T18:46:03+00:00

My ex said she had the same. To me it seems just like a lack of confidence and self control. Stop caring so much, nobody gives a fuck about you.

arakouzo · 2021-03-10T18:50:24+00:00

This "highly sensitive person" stuff is modern therapist mumbo jumbo to try to recast all of the criers, screamers, Karens, and other undesirable women as something positive. Something "sensitive" with a lot of "emotional intelligence".

It's not a real thing. It's a made up therapist thing, kind of like fat acceptance, but for annoying bitches. It's annoying bitch acceptance.

You're a man. Maybe you're an observant man. Maybe you're an emotional man. But quit trying to find some kind of label for what you are or what you have so you can use it as an excuse for not succeeding in life. Nobody gives a shit what label you take for yourself.

Frankly, when you refuse to play the game with women because you think you're special and "see straight through them", that's more autistic than sensitive. Of course women aren't genuine and are playing the game with you. You're supposed to play it back. It's a game. It's not real. That's why it's called the game. We all know and see that. You're not special. Play the game and have sex. Or don't. But quit trying to look for a label to excuse your shortcomings.

AJ_KG_JG · 2021-03-10T19:52:15+00:00

This might sound bad, but work on being more "arrogant". Once you think of yourself as "The Shit", you'll be able to laugh off other people's nonsense, even if you fully perceive it.

turncoat22 · 2021-03-10T20:17:24+00:00

I get where you are coming from. Personally, I used to view my hyper awareness as a curse as well; now, I've begun viewing it as a strength. You gather a lot more information than some people, use it to your advantage.

If you are anything like me you tend to take things more personally, which can hurt. This is the downside. Also it's probably hard for you to relax.

The upside is you have potential to play the game really well, if you can conquer the fear.

2021-03-10T21:26:09+00:00

Well, you could start by lifting weights and not whining so much.

michael1962-01 · 2021-03-10T18:42:10+00:00

They are like they are. You will not change it. I'm able to 'see' aura, body language and more too. I feel you. It's frustrating - but the world is like it is Just learn to 'center in yourself' and see them like a flower or a cat. It can enrich your life

beljko0106 · 2021-03-10T20:39:07+00:00

This sounds like you are very high in the Neuroticism trait of the Big 5 personality traits.

Read about the big 5 personality traits - its legit stuff.

I too am very high in Neuroticism. Now I did alot of research and there is no "cure", that is we cannot make ourselves less afraid BUT we can make ourselves STRONGER by baby steps exposure therapy.

Thats it. Take an exact fear,break it down and take small steps towards conquering it. Thats all there is to it.

Cmdrj-nice · 2021-03-11T02:38:36+00:00

Sounds like you are too much in your head. Get out of your head and have fun bro.

Kuneyah · 2021-03-10T22:16:12+00:00

You're just soft g gotta be tougher bro

Spidaddy · 2021-03-10T22:56:08+00:00

I consider myself a HSP. I have an example that just happened to me over the past few days.

A plate and myself were going into the city to go to a museum for her birthday. I got free tix, a girl friend of mine works there. I had noticed on the way to said museum, she was on her phone answering birthday wishes. Didn't think anything of it. I happen to notice a shift in her body language when she gets a text from another guy.

At first, I didnt know it was another dude, till i looked down at her phone. She must have felt my gaze, because the entire time, she was weird with her phone the rest of the trip (DND, looking at it but putting it away immediately).

For the rest of the trip I kind of withdrew myself. We parted ways a few hours later, not before making plans to see her the following week. She goes out partying with her friends for her bday weekend.

Noticeable shift in responsiveness, so something must have happened along the line. She flakes on me yesterday. Doesn't text me about it until i text her, saying shes not feeling well blah blah. I say "Ah man that sucks. Feel better". A day later, no text. So i call her out on it, but in a respectful way. Shes not ready for a relationship, got out of a 5yr relationship 3 months ago aka wants to ride the C.C.

Im not upset about it. It lasted a month. Even from the first date, I knew that my time would be limited, based on what she told me. She got so infatuated with me, she told me shit she didnt remember telling me till i brought it up again.

Moral of the story: i used to hate how sensitive i was. But like anything else, with careful practice and consideration for ones mental fortitude, its a blessing. It has saved me from numerous let downs, professionally, with my family, even friends.

Listen to your gut, gents.

DS_1900 · 2021-03-11T02:14:10+00:00

Fuck OP this was a pathetic post if ever I read one. Imagine if you told the hijackers on a 9/11 flight that you were a HSP, would that have solved your situation? Same as in everyday life bro.

Great that you are a(u)rtistic. Leverage this.

Not great that you get stuck on thinking about negative interactions for days. This is going to fuck your life up almost as bad as a 9/11 hijacker.

BeornPlush · 2021-03-11T16:14:27+00:00

I feel similar in a lot of ways and mostly narrow it down to a mixture of childhood abuse (CPTSD) and giftedness (non-autism, high IQ neuroatypical — often comes with some hair-trigger senses like you describe). Those things don't write themselves off, you don't just get over them, you can't conveniently stuff them away.

Hyperawareness developed as a defense mechanism to clue me in on the threat of abuse from my mother and her ex. It's hard to re-wire it to pick up on social cues without getting all up in arms on perceived threats. That takes therapy, time, exposure and care. I heard cognitive behavioral therapy could be specifically helpful.

Now I'm a large, fit, square-jawed man that's well endowed and professionally successful. </brag> By all accounts I should be and feel like a top 10-20% man. Still, abuse and hypersensitivity brought me to a deep sense of existential shame that's very hard to manage. Frame is hard to establish when your very being is soaked in self-loathing from being treated like shit for decades and being berated for anything good that you display. John Bradshaw's Homecoming (ebook or ancient PBS TV series) was a great listen on the way out of that hole. So was Patrick Teahan's youtube channel. Either way, it takes more effort because you've likely spent decades digging yourself into a dysfunctional frame, aided by maladaptive threat detection, and need to shore it back up before you can exude the good stuff.

There, I validated his concerns and showed sympathy. Bring in the downvotes.

kdsflyfree · 2021-03-11T03:12:51+00:00

"I know every girl I meet sees me as a provider."

This, here, is your problem. You have no game and no frame. They see you as non-sexual. It has nothing to do with whether or not you are sensitive.

Noodlesoupe2 · 2021-03-16T06:31:12+00:00

Let me guess. You're an "empath" too?

Snoo-45574 · 2021-05-20T14:20:37+00:00

i know this thread is old but i thought id help you out, i used to be like that too but when i stopped all caffeine completely then i wasnt sensitivie anymore, i dont know why, ive even picked it up couple of times to try and i become the same as before, maybe you should try it to see how it affect you

Title	Anyone here a "Highly Sensitive Person"?
Author	FuckTheTTC
Upvotes	24
Comments	35
Date	March 10, 2021 6:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/m24tss/anyone_here_a_highly_sensitive_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/anyone-here-a-highly-sensitive-person.751897 https://theredarchive.com/post/751897

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