I can’t be one or the other it is very hard. However being a nice guy so far has led to misery.

Should I just embrace my manipulative, lying, backstabbing asshole side?

It doesn’t feel “right” but objectively I do so much better.

My all or nothing approach to life means I can’t just be in the middle otherwise I hold onto a lot of bluepilled habits.

If you had to choose between these two?