Look, I get it. Unplugging is important. Independence is good, have a mission, etc. I've been over the sidebar more times than I can count in the last year.

It just isn't clicking. I can't bring myself to game IRL because fucking it up can be a one-way trip to prison, even if I could manage to hold eye-contact when things get tense. I can manage it just fine when things are casual, but the moment there's tension at all, even in normal conversation, my head goes down and my shoulders hunch up, and I don't realize it until afterword.

My posture sucks. I've been told that working my core will help, but I'm a 140 pound twig who can't even plank for five full seconds. My form sucks, and no matter how many tutorials I watch, I just can't seem to make my body move the right way.

It's not like I have nerve damage or broken bones, I just...don't understand how to move my body. How to keep my back straight for a pushup. How to squat without risking slipping a disc or damaging my knees.

I recognize that TRP is right. When I've managed to apply it in snippets, it has worked wonders. I've seen it with my own eyes.

I just can't make myself put in the work, and when I try, it goes all pear-shaped. That wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the long-term/permanent consequences.

And yes, that's part of being a man. Taking risks, embracing failure, etc. But so is not being a dumb ass who put himself in the hospital or is sitting in a cell because he had a move he shouldn't have.

Am I wrong? Is there some trick I'm missing, some first step I've skipped?