Being stingy: A red flag or virtue

frequentlywrong · 2015-01-18T19:51:29+00:00

Smart rich people spend as little of their own money as possible. This is what made them rich and what keeps them rich. This is an obvious virtue.

8675309c · 2015-01-18T19:05:45+00:00

it's a good thing

it sounds like frugality. do you want to LTR a woman with shitty spending habits?

thrway1312 · 2015-01-18T22:08:35+00:00

Frugality is a virtue rarely found in Americans, especially women; it demonstrates discipline and forward-thinking.

slater2j · 2015-01-18T21:06:57+00:00

Virtue. Unless she's critical of how you spend. In which case she wouldn't be a good first mate.

cos_2 · 2015-01-18T22:33:49+00:00

There's always an exception to the rule. On paper frugality is good, but not so much when its shallow. Learning to change your oil to save 20 bucks once every six months or so isn't really frugal when you turn around and spend 100 bucks a month on junk food.

Its the same principal as the dude justifying a doughnut because he didn't drink a bucket of soda.

cascadecombo · 2015-01-19T03:54:41+00:00

Are you really asking this?

Beinh wise with your money isnt stingy. Wasting it on frivolous things is retarded.

m-town · 2015-01-19T04:48:35+00:00

red flag...virtue...what?

In my own person experience, some rich people (especially people who are born into wealth) are very self-conscious about how they're perceived by the majority who don't have much money. And they try to be very modest about their spendings, and their lifestyle, to fit in. They don't want to be seen as wealthy brats who spend exuberant amounts of money on pointless shit, and never learn any of the same positive virtues as the rest of society (because they can buy whatever they want)

couchpotatocarl · 2015-01-19T06:35:11+00:00

This is the opposite of entitled. You rarely find poor women like this, finding one who is rich and you should appreciate it 10x more. Seriously, pass her on to the next guy if you don't know what to do with her.

a_nus · 2015-01-19T01:35:39+00:00

This should be a breathe of fresh air considering all the girls nowadays wasting daddy's money on useless shit. Definitely a virtue.

bohemian_fappsody · 2015-01-19T05:40:11+00:00

There's a difference between being cheap and being frugal. Your description sounds more like frugal, if those are the most extreme examples of her behavior. Cheap is more like you refuse to tip a socially acceptable amount, you are dishonest so as to save some money, you spend an inordinate amount of time to save a little bit of money, you're willing to accept unsafe and unsanitary conditions to save a few bucks, you refuse to spend a little money on fun, you freak out over a little bit of money, etc. Cheap is bad, but for every cheap girl, you're more likely to find dozens who are totally irresponsible with money, which is what you should really take pains to avoid, as it is far more common and damaging.

Also, there's probably a range of what could still be considered healthy spending habits. If yours are healthy, but less frugal than hers, that can cause problems. Ostensibly, she should be following your lead in the relationship, but if she thinks you are wasteful, that can diminish her respect for you.

asd1100 · 2015-01-19T07:23:33+00:00

Is this a red flag or a virtue?

for me, it's a virtue, a big one, but I am cheap as fuck.

However I have dated women like this, and women's cheapness is different than men's. Thread lightly just because she is cheap doesn't mean she wants a cheap man.

QuidulusBroQuo · 2015-01-19T06:08:59+00:00

How did you find out she is very wealthy? Some people aren't directly connected to the wealth of a family and aren't going to get anything but lie about what they're going to get. Or she be telling the truth but have a set up where she only gets the money from her family when she meets a certain criteria: finish university, reach a certain age, get married, etc.

If she is indeed wealthy, then frugality could be a value her parents instilled in her while growing up. Many people become wealthy by investing their money and being frugal instead of spending it all.

If she is lying, she may have HUGE debt. Many people who go into outstanding credit card debt, student loan death, or any other debt act frugal in order to slowly pay off their debt. She could be looking for an LTR so you could help her pay off her debt or marry you so that you are forced to help her pay for it.

Title	Being stingy: A red flag or virtue
Author	entropicfreedom
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	January 18, 2015 7:00 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2suq2d/being_stingy_a_red_flag_or_virtue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/being-stingy-a-red-flag-or-virtue.145398 https://theredarchive.com/post/145398

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