Boundaries vs rules for an LTR

Kidterrific · 2020-08-13T02:49:37+00:00

You can’t tell a person what to do. You can only tell them what you will do. Example: I can’t tell a girl not to cheat. I can tell a girl that if she cheats, I’ll never speak to her ass again.

Get it? Boundaries aren’t meant to tell people what to do, but they tell people the consequences of things that they do that impact you. If you are high value enough, they will respect those boundaries and if they don’t, you prove you’re high value by enforcing them.

GayLubeOil · 2020-08-13T08:28:06+00:00

Rules are for fools. If you point to a line women will instinctively cross it and then your stuck being rule police man.

How about you flip the script and ask her what she thinks is acceptable in a relationship. If she instinctively doesn't understand what a relationship means then she's retarded and any child she produces will be half Tard.

Whisper · 2020-08-13T11:39:45+00:00

Anyone who tells you that you cannot control women is telling you that he cannot control women.

SirKolbath · 2020-08-13T02:42:34+00:00

What’s the difference?

For most these are the same thing.

Can I really tell a girl what she can and cannot do?

If your SMV is high enough you can. But it's not giving orders. It's providing leadership. It's being enough of a man that when you draw a line, she doesn't cross it because she knows she'll lose you if she does.

Understand that she will test your boundaries and rules constantly. It is her nature. If you bend them, she will lose respect for you. If she breaks one of your rules and you don't depart, she's going to take control over your relationship.

What are some boundaries and rules you guys have for you plates, LTRs, wives ?

This may help answer that question.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-08-13T15:31:24+00:00

An Ultimatum is a sign of weakness. But how you frame your rules vs. boundaries is up to you.

In a way, example rules can go "without saying" example: don't lie to me, don't steal from me; shit so obvious you have to understand "the medium is the message" if she does that stuff it's a clear sign that she thinks little of you, at that time.
Boundaries, are best expressed through leadership. EG, if/when in an LTR, "when I'm in an LTR I don't DM people who have had or have feelings for me, and I expect the same from my partner" (then stfu) if you're uber Chad she may drop all of these orbiters who wanna bang her on her own. But if all other guys she's been with before you were weak ass non boundary setting "nice guys" (who seethed silently at her actions, but did nothing because she was so hawt) and you're the first to state a boundary, she might actually be like "oh, ok" but maybenot. This is why STFU and observe is important.

remember, whether a rule or a boundary, she may bristle/complain. ignore what she says, watch how she reacts. high value women will appreciate a man who leads. brats/ho's/golddiggers will not as it impedes their shit imperatives. so her reaction is actually a signal you use to identify value, and decide to demote or promote/keep them around.

just like: "what do I do if a guy hits in my LTR when we're out?" nah, bro. this isn't a test of YOU it's a test of HER. Just like your boundary/rule - this is a test of her. Not of you. You know you, you're being you, you express your expectations - if she passes, she can hang; she fails, she gets kicked to the curb. Guys get all nervous stating boundaries, when they shouldn't be. You're just setting up a test. You're the proctor, only your scarcity mindset has you scared, so fix that.

KingGerbz · 2020-08-13T05:53:23+00:00

Rules = what you allow.

Boundaries = what you accept.

I allow my bitches to do whatever the fuck they want, I couldn’t give two shits. However what I accept is a different story.

By accept, I mean tolerate. If a bitch acts up and does some intolerable shit I get a new bitch bc I don’t accept that. In other words, when the boundaries are crossed, she’s cut. End of story.

Title	Boundaries vs rules for an LTR
Author	alphaonthecomeup
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	August 13, 2020 2:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/i8rq96/boundaries_vs_rules_for_an_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/boundaries-vs-rules-for-an-ltr.54696 https://theredarchive.com/post/54696

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