Confidence and Fear

AlfredApple · 2016-08-30T07:47:37+00:00

You have completely missed the point. Lifting does not fix your desire to be with a woman, it is meant to take your mind off them. Having a woman as a goal when you lift is ridiculous.
The only way to get over a fear is to confront it and continuously do what it is you fear.

For both points, stop whining that this is hard. Of course it's hard, if it wasn't everyone would be doing it. It seems like you just found TRP and don't really understand it. This is not a quick fix, it's a long term change of mindset on how you see and interact with the world. Keep on reading and keep on lifting. It's a long and hard journey but the rewards are worth it, trust us.

Toddbaker6 · 2016-08-30T07:59:45+00:00

You know that sinking feeling when you're alone at night thinking about that girl you "almost" approached earlier that day? Didn't have the balls?

Guess how you prevent that from happening.

play_time_is_over · 2016-08-30T12:59:02+00:00

People talk up Tinder too much.

Tinder has made it harder for average guys to get laid and much much easier for top 5% males to get laid.

A 50% male gets 1/115 likes on average.

A top 80% male gets 1/17 likes.

Women have more choice than ever 7/10 chicks can fuck male model tier guys with relative ease.

Its not easier, its harder for the average guy to get laid.

empatheticapathetic · 2016-08-30T14:22:09+00:00

I've been on TRP for a year. Spent a lot of time in the mindset you're in now. No lays yet. Honestly I let it build up in me so much to the point I just stopped caring anymore. And that's the true beginning point really, for me anyway.

You just become truly 'outcome independent'. I went out on Saturday and just was so Fucking confident and talked to so many girls. Destroyed them with game. Easily could have gotten with a couple (k close, not lay) but I pussied out and preferred just the fun I was having killing it with game with probably 10+ girls. One girl added me on Facebook on her own accord, otherwise I just didn't care.

I only realised how well I did until the day after. On the day I was just simply having fun, I connected the dots later.

For the record I am balding heavy with long hair and just don't give a Fuck. I ended up really sweaty after one period and looked absolutely awful and I was still killing it. I just truly gave no fucks. Dominant behaviour, strong eye contact, heavy polarisation, strong frame.

Keep lifting for you and see an escort if you want. Everything else is a bonus and treat it as such, so you're never really disappointed. Have zero expectations. That's my philosophy for escaping that mindset right now. Try to have fun and get over your lack of relationship.

blackfin · 2016-08-30T15:08:35+00:00

Fuck Tinder. Grow a personality, learn how to open conversations and conquer your fear by approaching. Again and again. You will get rejected, insulted, shot down hard and then... it won't matter to you anymore because you're not scared of approaching. Nothing worthwhile is easy to do, otherwise everyone would do it.

Lifting will improve your health, confidence and state of mind. If you really are bald(ing), embrace it, go cue-ball/skinhead bald. You really care if a woman has a 10/10 figure with a weird haircut? It's not as big a deal as you're making it, trust me.

Now get to the gym you bald headed weirdo.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-08-30T20:39:11+00:00

There are a couple of things going on. We live in an age where a "Need" is just a "Want" that hasn't been fulfilled within 24 hours, where women are told they are "special snowflakes", and 'deserve' only the best. This is why we see younger women riding the CC and always looking for the Bigger, Better Deal. Why? Because, until they go "SPLAT!!!" headlong into the Wall, they have Market Power.

I want to ask you all about confidence and fear.

First, stop freaking out.

Confidence: To be confident with women, you must forget about women. Make yourself excellent at something. Or a couple of somethings. Decide what you like and what you are good at and build on those. For example, I write and perform original music. I usually have a couple of my songs on my phone. I have sung for girls I'm trying to bang, and watched their panties hit MELTDOWN while I do it. Now you can say "But Uncle Vasya, that's easy for you!" Yes, it is now. But you don't see all the work that went into it. So go develop your talents, and become something. Women are a lagging indicator of success.

Fear: What are you afraid of? Some half-naked 120lb woman? What if she says no? What if she points and laughs? So fucking what? You were fine before her and you will be fine after. And the only way to get Abundance Mentality + DGAF + Outcome Independence is to go out and Approach. Make 5 approaches a day without giving a shit about whether you N-close or not. Then go over the Game Film. See what you did right and wrong. Approaching is skills-based, like hitting a baseball. You can't just read about it in a book you have to Go.Fucking.Do.It.

And stop with the "NOBODY WILL EVERY LOVE ME BECAUSE I'M BALD!!!" bullshit. If you weren't bald you be whining about how it was your crooked nose or something else. I look like I'm made up out of spare dinosaur parts but you never hear me whining about how I can't get laid. Why? Because I don't let my limitations define me. So, "Baldy", "Chrome Dome", "Uncle Fester", "Mr. Clean", Never forget who you are....wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.

Here's a line for you: If someone points out that you're bald you go do it "Bald? Nah, man...I'm a BALLER."

Now go forth and SLAY!

Officer_Dick_Johnson · 2016-08-30T10:41:11+00:00

You being bald is not the issue.

You being too skinny/fat, lacking style, lacking game, being negative whyni bitch is an issue.

knightSwolaire · 2016-08-30T17:56:19+00:00

You've got it in your head that bald is bad. It isn't.

I've heardd multiple women say "I LOVE bald men." Even my former hair stylist told me how "hot a bald man with a beard is" and that's what she goes for.

It's all about how you own it bro. If you can please grow a beard.

Get this shit out of your head.

Also, you get over approaching by approaching. You don't conquer fears by avoiding, you conquer them by facing them head on.

Honestly stop being such a pussy.

anabolic92 · 2016-08-30T19:01:31+00:00

OH well yet again another balding thread, I'm also bald and if I told you waht I really think of us the baldies and our situation u'd get depressed.

/u/corsega wrote a guide about being bald and do well with women he can link you to it

LegElbow · 2016-08-31T03:50:04+00:00

Self improvement is key.

That is where confidence comes from: progress.

Ho_Kogan · 2016-08-30T09:57:32+00:00

In my experience, talking to women in the day is hard work, but can be done.

This won't be a night and day thing, however. You have to set goals and write down reports to show how far you've gotten, serious.

Title	Confidence and Fear
Author	iolast
Upvotes	6
Comments	18
Date	August 30, 2016 7:23 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/509wme/confidence_and_fear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/confidence-and-fear.110528 https://theredarchive.com/post/110528

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