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Debating with people over politics/philosophy/religion, beta behavior?

TRedVVolf

September 28, 2017

3 upvotes

/r/askTRP

I know it's probably a stupid question but does having intellectual debates with coworkers/friends/whoever about subjects like I mentioned in the title, (subjects that no one really changes his mind about) is beta? Personally I really like having those debates and discussing those subjects, it comes from a curiously about why people behave and think the way they do.

I'm asking because today at lunch I started speaking with a coworker/friend of mine about religion and some philosophical questions, we both had very different POVs but we kept it funny and intellectual not raging at each other. There was a woman coworker there as well, after a few minutes she said to us "can we speak out something else, it's so boring" I immediately replied "I love speaking about those kind of stuff so I'm gonna" and just kept speaking with my other coworker like nothing happened.

Did I do wrong? Do having those debates with people can hurt my smv?

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Post Information

Title	Debating with people over politics/philosophy/religion, beta behavior?
Author	TRedVVolf
Upvotes	3
Comments	22
Date	September 28, 2017 10:44 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/72z9vf/debating_with_people_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/debating-with-people-over.115181 https://theredarchive.com/post/115181

Comments

[–]quicklogaccount2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

I know the deal there and I'll disagree with /u/McVaghunter.

What could have hurt your SMV was changing subjects to accommodate the chick's demand when she said "I'm a girl, I'm here, you should look into talking to me, and I find that subject boring". Talk about it with your friends if you feel like it.

Now that said, these conversations might add value to you but they don't add smv, they don't add the slightest bit of attraction and they hardly give any feeelz for the average women.
Trying to engage in them won't murder the attraction you have immediately, but it might do just that. And even if the chick is receptive to the conversation and can engage it properly (this is rare as fuck with people and I never had it with a chick I was looking into dating), getting her to be rational won't add attraction and if she's in that mindset long enough, attraction takes a blow.

[–]TRedVVolf0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]introvertp2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]TRedVVolf0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

Of course it was coming, non intelligent people usually don't speak about philosophy/science...

I understand what you're saying, but that's the way it is, I am more intelligent than most, but I usually don't show it, I let it come out only when there's another person that will be engaged as well as I am or when it's necessary.

I know what you were aiming for, I know those kind of people but I'm not one of them.

I can be 100% sure that people don't know I'm intelligent until I decide to show it.

I have dumbed down myself plenty of times for long periods of time to avoid responsibility or unnecessary effort at a workplace or when I served in the army. When I was actually needed and started to actually be myself I got responses like "wow I didn't know you're so smart"/"when did u get so smart?"...

I don't look down on people because they're less intelligent than me.

Should I not have any intellectual conversation with potential plate/LTR even if the woman is actually smart and interested in "nerdy" topics as well?

[–]iwannagrowpls 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]TRedVVolf0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think I'm superior that's the thing, I'm more intelligent than most people, but some people are more "blank" than me...

Maybe I'm intelligent but I lack in some areas, where other people are superior to me. Being intelligent doesn't make me better than anyone, it only makes me intelligent, I know that.

I say "dumb down" because That's what I've been doing plenty of times to avoid being like those full of themselves intelligent guys that think they're better than everyone else and end up alone.

When people speak about common topics, the things that comes into my mind are: Regular conversation material. Facts that usually no one knows. Theories that usually no one will understand. etc..

what I do is keep all of those thoughts to myself and contribute to the regular conversation knowing Facts\Theories are BORING. (to most)

What I'm trying to understand is if I do come by a person (intelligent or not) that enjoys speaking about science/biology/whatever like I do, should I do it in front of a potential woman?

[–]iwannagrowpls 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]quicklogaccount0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]blackedoutfast1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm more intelligent than most of the people I encounter

the people who act like this typically aren't really the most intelligent, they're just slightly more intelligent than average mixed with a good helping of social incompetence and assburgers-type autism.

the real problem is that you are entirely focused on the actual words being used and don't even understand the different levels of communication that are happening. especially when girls are part of a conversation, most of the information is being communicated via subtext. the literal spoken words are mostly just a carrier.

the truly intelligent people with social skills know how to use that intelligence in a useful way - they aren't debating nerd shit, they are telling good stories and being charming and charismatic.

when you start going off on a some discussion about philosophy or black holes or some other boring shit like that, you're not impressing anyone. no one is thinking "wow he is so smart and logical" they are thinking "omg this guy is such a nerd i wish he would go away so we could have a normal non-nerd conversation"

[–]quicklogaccount0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Knowing that most people find those conversations boring, should I dumb down (...)

Man, it's not dumbing it down, you're not only intelligent when you talk about academical stuff. Exchange some stingers with smart folks and you'll see that.

and avoid them completely? (...) even if the other person friend/potential plate are honestly engaged?

If she LOOKS engaged she's either attracted to you and ignoring all you say or her mind is being rational and not navigating her own feelings, as you'd want it to do to nail her.
If she's attracted and ignoring you and you keeping nerding shit out for a while, this attraction will eventually dwindle although it'll be easy to light it again. It goes a bit like this. You're talking to the chick and she keeps giving you IOIs, and you begin to nerd out something. After a while IOIs stop coming. At this point she's loosing interest and will move elsewhere if something draws her attention, but if you say something personal to trigger her feelings the IOIs come back pretty fast.
If she's being rational and genuinely engaged you're not adding any attraction, you'll be (probably) laying a not very sexual frame for yourself and will have to change that later. If you lay an unattractive frame (not only not sexual) it'll be basically impossible to fix it.

You do you man. I find decent conversations to be so much rarer than sex I'd gladly take a non sexual frame to engage an stimulating conversation, Tinder will always be there for pussy.
But the stuff you're worrying about never actually happened to me, I never had to face the trade. On occasion I was talking nerdy stuff with chicks that WERE already attracted and it didn't hurt my game, but their disinterest was noticeable.

[–]TRedVVolf1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link