Developing an interesting life, or is this an excuse?

throwaway-aa2 · 2015-06-07T12:57:59+00:00

So I like reading (mostly books that can teach me something), I like going to the gym (and lifting HEAVY AS FUCK), I like teaching, I like being around people...

[–]RemyPrice11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago* (21 children) | Copy Link

Right I get that, but here's the thing.

My main focus point right now is lifting. I've been lifting for 6 months and I couldn't lift shit when I started and now I'm squatting 275 (very hard but I'm motivated) and almost benching 2 plates, I've gained almost 50lbs. I spent all this time researching clothes, how to dress, etc. I work on posture, and I work on diet, and I work on biomechanics and myofascial work to make sure that I don't get injured and to increase my gains. All for the sake of improving my SMV. And I TOTALLY get it.

But here's the thing... I can't do that all the time (at least I think it hurts me). I haven't had sex in a year. I can obviously build an interesting life for myself but what exactly is interesting to me? The most interesting thing I can do IMO is go out and talk to strangers and approach, and I feel like everything else is me building more SMV and building a more interesting life but all for the sake of a woman... do you get what I'm saying?

I used to be a dancer at the top of my community, for about 3 years. I had an interesting life then... but it didn't help me necessarily. I used dancing as a buffer to avoid meeting women. And I eventually realized that dancing wasn't as fun as actually conversing with different women and challenging myself. And with dancing you have to deal with women you don't necessarily want to deal with, and it creates the mindset that you can't walk away, which affected my inner game.

I guess what I'm asking here, is how do I build this interesting life for myself, and does it matter if I don't find it interesting?

I set PR's every time I hit the gym, so ANY physical activity is detrimental to my progress. Any alcohol is detrimental to my progress as well. So this filters out MOST things that people would consider interesting. It seems like anything I COULD do or would want to do would be a compromise.

How do I figure this out? How do I find things that I'm interested in that AREN'T game or lifting or biomechanics that don't interfere with activities I already do to raise SMV?

[–]trphardmode4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RemyPrice1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]RemyPrice2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

The point is, do what you like to do

That's true, BUT...

prior to working out, I liked to do nothing, and that would have been wrong.... You get what I mean? What I like to do isn't always what I should do, and I wanted to ask men similar or better than me if I had the right mindframe thinking about this. I'm willing to put the time in to improving my SMV always but at this point I just feel like I'm doing all I can in terms of hobbies and things that interest me, and anything else I do besides going after women is me just creating a situation in which I'm NOT forced to confront my fears and rejection and go after women. So I'm managing that, while making sure that increasing my SMV is top priority (but at the same time, making sure I'm not just introducing stuff that is "supposedly" to increase my SMV but really it's just to avoid what scares me)... you get what I mean?

So I just wanted a little guidance because I was having a hard time figuring out whether my reasoning was on the right path or not. You guys are right though... I should just chase women for a little bit. Thanks.

[–]RemyPrice0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Well what I'm trying to get at is this... what I want to do isn't what is always right. Sometimes what I want to do least is the thing I need to do the most. I don't ENJOY going to approach women the way I enjoy just sitting home masturbating. One is a good time with the least amount of putting myself out there (and a payoff) and one is putting myself out there as much as I can with a historical payoff of NOTHING. So I want to do it because I DON'T WANT to do it, the same way in the past I would have preferred not working out.

Nothing, as in, you literally sat in your bed with your eyes closed, and didn't move a muscle?

So as to a direct response to your quote, no not exactly nothing but I used to (and still do unfortunately) waste time playing video games, over stimulating my mind with knowledge and news instead of defaulting to action... hey even in the past I would have preferred to sit at home, drink snapple and hot cheetos and play single player games, but that is WRONG of me.... you get it? I can recognize that point in my life as be doing NOTHING in terms of... well I can probably find more fun stuff to do that's more rewarding. This is just a waste of time.

Hopefully I'm making my point... what we want isn't always what we should want. I just wanted a little help figuring out my overall mentality.

[–]RemyPrice0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]RemyPrice2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]throwaway-aa21 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well the first was this question because I was going to start to look up activities to do... like learn to dance reggae or swing or something. I started researching places I could sky dive, and then I was going to reach out to some wings to game but again I had this question on my mind so I didn't know how I should approach it, so I've been being introspective today.

I've been wanting to clean my room today but I put a lot of stress on my central nervous system from my last workout which damn near left me limping... so I decided I should give myself that rest because I worked hard for it. I've realized I needed to start eating more & bulking so I've been spending the last couple of days doing that, and figuring out my diet moving forward (and if I need to buy a freezer for milk & bulk meats).

My plan is to finish cleaning my room, wash some clothes, then do some major myofascial work, and then keep watching this RSD Julien PIMP thing... the reason being because my last 3 outings of game (night and day) resulted in me getting blown out because I would approach strong and then have absolutely nothing to say. A wing referred it to me and basically it is probably going to completely change the way I view the interactions.

So basically today is rest, re-evaluating my goals, learning a bit, cleaning a bit and doing maintenance on my body, and then probably meditating and then cooking. But mostly figuring out a long term game plan... and given a good answer I got, I'm going to reach out to some people today for game this week, and finish that PIMP video series ASAP.

It was not an action that forwarded your goals, that's all.

A goal is not good then? I know what you're talking about... you're on that determinism stoic type shit where there is no good and bad, there just is. And that's fine but if reaching a goal is preferable, I fail to see how we can't make a distinction that good and bad isn't absolute but it can be relative to a given situation. It IS about the journey, however most people are going to say it's good if they win a game, rather than lose a game.

[–]RemyPrice3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NidStyles1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]machimus1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean, "makes it easier for the rest of us". You're trying to make a very simplistic point, but the reality is it's slightly more complicated than that. This subreddit IS about becoming a better man for yourself but I think you would be remiss to ignore that it's also about women and learning to get what you want. There are MANY ways of expanding yourself, some which are completely empty. I danced for a couple of years and at the time it seemed fulfilling but it wasn't, and upon retrospect neither was playing video games all those years, which many people DO consider expanding yourself but I feel like it was partly because I didn't know what else was out there. You're looking at this too superficially. Sometimes the things you have no interest in become your greatest interests.

Joe rogan practiced Taekwondo for many years and become a champion. I don't know if he regrets it, but ultimately he went on to get into MMA because he saw "martial arts" to be a very limited form of fighting. I've had similar epiphanies in terms of stuff I spent my time on in life, in terms of realizations that I chose something but with more knowledge at the time I would have chose differently. Do you understand what I'm saying?

So again, just purely saying "if you don't want to do it just don't" is sort of ignoring everything I've learned from life. Sometimes when you fight for something, you end up somewhere in life that is truly fulfilling. Weight lifting NEVER made as much sense before to me as it does now, but I'm glad I found it while chasing something else. Lastly, doing anything which gets me what I want IS doing it for myself.

[–]machimus1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I do PLENTY that I'm passionate about. But what I'm REALLY passionate about, is chasing women, challenging myself, facing rejection, and expanding my horizons (EVEN with going to a museum). I don't know where I put it in this post, but I've had an extensive life already, many achievements and many hobbies (some casual, some serious). I feel like I get a pass to chase women now, and in the meantime become acclimated to other hobbies (because they all are valid in their own way). It's not that I don't hear what you're saying, I totally get it. Become your own interesting person with your own passions. But as I described previously (and I don't feel like you're giving a full rebuttal to), it's not that 2 dimensional. I can be passionate about A LOT of things, and I can also be passionate about chronically masturbating. I've been passionate about dancing before, I used to take a wide array of classes, I used to perform. I used to do improv and go out and challenge myself. I already do meditation, I already lift, I focus on biomechanics of the body, I used to do yoga, I want to be an entrepreneur, and I read a lot (and I'm passionate about researching, about teaching in the future once I get to the proper state of mind which needs me to get better with women). I've also been very much into video games in the past and... well let's just say I've been passionate about PLENTY. But I've also been without a lot of sexual experiences my whole life because just having passionate things that I do hasn't been enough. I could LITERALLY go and pick up the same stuff I was passionate about before and be passionate about it, and still get nowhere with women. This is why I fundamentally disagree with you because I've already done this for a good portion of my life. It helped me lose my virginity but that's about it (and that was damn near the entire fault of the girl chasing me).

[–]machimus1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

yeah. the problem is never keeping the girl for me. My problem is making sure they don't get too attached because especially when I've already met her and had sex with her, the pressure is off and I return to my normal cool, humorous, not giving a fuck attitude. I have plenty to come across as cool... I can literally take a woman out dancing, to improv, talk about my job and my life or what books I'm reading or how I spent X amount of time researching about the best possible hangars to buy or the benefits of all linen bedding or whatever... I can be extremely interesting, and I can go learn guitar and learn more stuff that interests me, but it's like you said... only do things that interest you, but it's like an interest overload right now in my life. I spent a LOT of time researching about weight lifting (I recently read practical programming 3rd edition, then studied a little bit and basically made a huge alteration to my diet so that I can more efficiently make progress which is HUGE because if you think about it, because this is the start of my journey, any investment up front in terms of overall methodology of lifting is going to provide dividends in terms of the result I get).

Abstract this conversation out a bit: I can talk a LOT if I'm assed to. Look at the entire thread... I can always talk about something interesting. That's not the problem for me with women if I'm comfortable. My problem is I don't know the formula. I'm in my head. I go up to a girl and because I'm super analytical because that's my personality and that's my career, I think about the best possible thing to say, and it's very robotic and unnatural. The girl LITERALLY could be staring at me and I'll fuck it up. If you'd saw me in real life, you'd NEVER guess I have women problems (and most people don't). The other day I had a girl behind me and she was like to her friends "DAMN He has some cake" and it's like.... lol I already have pretty good SMV I just don't capitalize on it. Based on this subreddit you'd think that having SMV would be good enough and women would start approaching you but I come off as intimidating per my facial structure and my stature so it's not going to happen for me that way... and I'm only going to get more intimidating as my general demeanor changes with meditation, lifting, and talking to women 24/7.

So that's why I say... I've already built it. I'm already interesting, I already lift intense, I already have had hobbies and I have new ones, I've practically done ALL I CAN. Literally. I really can't do anything else besides pick up new hobbies that I may or may not be interested in. So that's the point of this post, was to ask about that. Basically I have an illogical lack of confidence with women that goes away in moments when I'm gaming and I get rid of that slight AA, or goes away when I'm dancing, etc. So might as well chase tail, right? Keeping bitches is easy especially after I had sex with them, I'm THAT CONFIDENT because my sex game is so fucking on point, and my coolness as a person when I don't care about succeeding with a girl (which goes away after sex & kiss) is amazing. Approaching and getting sex is the problem, and that's only a mental barrier so all I need is the best methodology to get over that mental barrier, and per discussion with you guys I feel like gaming is really the only option.

[–]machimus1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

talk about my job and my life or what books I'm reading or how I spent X amount of time researching about the best possible hangars to buy or the benefits of all linen bedding or whatever...

Maybe time to reassess whether you're actually talking about interesting things.

I can talk a LOT if I'm assed(sic) to. Look at the entire thread... I can always talk about something interesting.

First part...clearly. Second part...unknown. Maybe let the girl talk about themselves a little more. And again: Double check they are actually interested in all this by reading body language and IOI cues.

My problem is I don't know the formula. I'm in my head.

Key to success: There Is No Formula. You need to stop worrying about it altogether and exercise your social instincts like you exercise muscles. Paying attention to nonverbal cues will help with feedback to how you're doing in any given interaction.

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe time to reassess whether you're actually talking about interesting things.

Lmao. It's not about the content, it's about how you portray it and how into the subject you are.

Maybe let the girl talk about themselves a little more.

Again like I said... I don't say shit in initial interactions. I say bare minimum to get the woman talking, but a guy usually talks more in the initial interaction. I used to be a dancer so I'm damn near a master in body language and communication by using it. The problem is, is that I can't be a mute or say the same god damn thing every time and then run out of things to say because unless we're dancing I can't sit there and say nothing.

Let me reiterate: I can be interesting and I AM when it comes to keeping a girl, I'm presenting that as a fact. However... the approach leaves much to be desired as I sort of go mute after asking the basic (what's your name / where are you from spiel).

Key to success: There Is No Formula. You need to stop worrying about it altogether and exercise your social instincts like you exercise muscles. Paying attention to nonverbal cues will help with feedback to how you're doing in any given interaction.

Maybe.

So I've been in this game for a while, but only recently did I reach a similar epiphany: I should just go out and approach and not worry what I say because it's all theory... let me worry about smoothing out interactions AFTER I start approaching.

I went out day gaming a couple of times and night gaming a couple of times. I started off good but progressively started getting more approach anxiety because I started getting BLOWN UP. I would approach and basically girls would nope the fuck out, not because I'm not cute or anything but it was very clear that the interaction was forced. I think we have a similar idea but where mine differs is that I know there is no formula but there ARE habits that need to be unlearned. I need to be going into interactions and just having fun with it, and there are easy ways of perfecting that. Once I get to a point where approaching is fun, I really don't need any more help... it'll all just happen like you're saying. I just need to unlearn some habits and it'll take probably a day or 2 to do it, so no worries.

[–]3alreadyredschool2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

If you just want to meet women do approaches

Yeah that's all I really want to do, but the way the community makes it out to be (especially RedPill) is that whole "build it and they will come" and I worry that my inner game is affected by me just wanting to go out and approach. For instance I read a post that was like "don't go on dates with women... invite the to do what you were already going to do, which gives you a strong frame (because you're doing something you know and are comfortable with while she is not) and also gives you the attitude that it doesn't matter if she flakes or the interaction doesn't go well because you've lost nothing" so I thought there was maybe some truth in that which made me revisit my whole gaming strategy and / or building that purposeful life.

I basically work 9-5, I used to be a dancer (but stopped because it was stunting my growth, prohibited me from lifting, and taught me how to be physical but taught me to avoid communicating which is a big weakness), but eventually I'd like to be a teacher & entrepreneur, and I meditate and I read. So I am involved in a lot of things but not in the traditional "go to a cooking class then women are everywhere!" sort of activities. All I really want to do is get laid and fuck women and get it out of my system so I can start dedicating time to becoming an entrepreneur... but sex is on the mind and I haven't been laid in a year and it's been tough being on these forums because it's always "increase your SMV, increase your SMV" which is EXACTLY what I've been doing but sometimes it's hard to discern what I should be doing even given that advice.

[–]3alreadyredschool2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

For instance I read a post that was like "don't go on dates with women... invite the to do what you were already going

That's just another kind of date.

"build it and they will come"

Yes, most people use that as excuse and then try to justify it by hamstering around the fact that they are afraid of rejection. It hasn't always been like that.

All I really want to do is get laid and fuck women and get it out of my system

Getting laid is easy, you do all this self improvement to be happier and more attractive, but when you don't do approaches and flirt with women you miss the advertisement part, the best product won't sell if nobody knows about it. You have to knock on a door to get invited in. And once you get laid regularly and with ease you can develop as a person. You won't have that need to impress women anymore, no more looking for validation, only doing stuff for yourself. But you can't skip the first steps. You can't skip half of the staircase, you have to climb them all. And then when you are on the top women will really come to you, but you will get 100 times more women when you do approaches.

Some guys go the stupid way, the fuck bitches get money way. Where they lift and focus on their career until women are intimidated by them because they never dared to improve their social skills. They are buffed and creepy, not charming and attractive.

The higher your social market value is the more effective will be your approaches, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. It is about being a balanced human being. If you just focus on two things you won't have as much success as focusing on everything. Most guys start without social skills and with low value, then they increase their market value but are too afraid of getting rejected and never increase their social skills, then they increase their social market value some more and still fail, they tell themselves that the only solution is to increase it some more, then it MUST work. You don't need to wait until you get a promotion or that six pack to successfully approach. But when you have crippling approach anxiety then you want to avoid working on that and rationalize it away, they hope that there is a way past it but the most effective way is to learn it. Approach 10 women a day is a popular and effective way to deal with that.

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ToshiroOzuwara0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude, go talk to women. It sounds like you got lost in monk mode and are scared to change it up.

lol. Well the thing is, is that I've already been day gaming a bit, but in the back of my head it seemed beta to be going out and talking to women when I could be focused on doing something fun and improving my SMV. It's not like I didn't daygame.. it's that I daygamed / night gamed and wondered if I should go BACK to doing what I was doing. So I get what you're saying but really I was already on the path, just second guessing myself given the overall theme of this subreddit and what is said.

Also, if you talk as much as you type, try to talk less. Be a mystery. Use your eyes and body language to communicate with women.

HA. I actually don't have anything to say when I approach women, that's the next goal. I go up and all I have is interview questions and then I can't think of ANYTHING to say. So I stopped daygaming for a bit and picked up RSD Julien's PIMP which taught me to stop trying to say the right thing... if I go into interactions for my self amusement then I'll never have to worry about what I say (I literally would approach many women and they would be like "wow is that your pickup line" for whatever I would say which started giving me AA). So yeah I'm already getting out there, no worries. Just wanted to clarify if I should keep going out. I do type a lot on here but only because I don't want to sit and refine my ideas and it helps to give people a fuller picture to give advice on (rather than the guy who types 2 words and you have no context to give advice for).

[–]ToshiroOzuwara3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, you're an idiot. Let me explain to you why I disagree with you.

First off, no, I don't need PERMISSION from anyone. I'm not asking for permission, I'm asking for guidance. Truly smart people know that iron sharpens iron, and because I don't have a strong father figure or for that matter motivated and aggressive people in my life, sometimes I like to come here and shoot questions to ping off of people who I consider to be fairly knowledgeable and driven. I'm confident enough to continue to do that, despite idiots like you THINKING just because you value other people's opinions that asking is somehow an admission of a lack of self confidence.

You don't need internet permission from total strangers.

This is a bullshit statement for a couple of reasons. Firstly.. it was THIS subreddit which got me on my path... so one day they're the impetus for my awakening in terms of women and society, and the next they're meaningless strangers... how about you tell that to everyone in /r/ThankTRP that they're stupid because it's just a bunch of total strangers.

If you want to talk to women, go talk to women.

Again, this is fucking loaded. If someone comes on here and says "all I want to is get a oneitis even though I know it's not good", you just going to be like "well dude if you like doing that and sitting home eating cheetos, whatever you want". I KNOW I can do whatever the fuck I want genius. I'm asking other valuable men what they consider would be a more valuable use of my time, since I haven't gotten to level of general mastery yet and I would appreciate the perspective of people who have. alreadyredschool gave me a perfect answer and I plan on resuming day / night gaming. But thanks a lot for the continuing of your annoying comments.

There is such a thing as being too verbose.

Maybe. But you haven't exactly given me any worthwhile critique so you're not perfect either. Even if I am being verbose, the last person I have to apologize to is definitely not you.

Also, I have a sneaking feeling you haven't been lifting.

I can guaran - fucking - tee that whatever you lift (even if you lift more), you don't lift as hard as I do. Pussy.

Don't fucking mistake my confused state in regards to the overall notion of TRP and my confidence level. I already stated multiple times that I am non stop on a SMV streak (hint: lifting GENIUS), and that I started to go out gaming, and wondered how I should be approaching things. Every one of your claims has been addressed in one way or another. But sit here and keep tossing ad-hominems if you want, don't care. It's not relevant, it's not true, it's not helpful, and I just don't give a fuck.

[–]1RPSigmaStigma1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

But she won't consciously choose to date him long term unless he also makes good money, has high social status and can entertain her with his interesting life.

I DGAF about that. I got out of a long term relationship a year ago and I've been sexless since then, and I've went on a rampage... getting a raise, really internalizing RedPill, I've been lifting for almost 7 months INCREDIBLY HARD and people are starting to notice my body changing... I had to learn how to dress, how to stretch to keep my body healthy so I don't get injured.... so I've came a long way. But basically I just want meaningless sex with hot women.

I signed up to meetup.com and I went out a few times in the interest of "building an interesting lifestyle" but I felt like such a fucking beta, going to these meetups just so I can be like "hey I have an interesting life" but going out, drinking alcohol and shooting the shit with people not that interesting doesn't interest me, especially when it's with losers. I really just want to fuck women and challenge myself...

But that being said I've read ad nauseum on this board to not chase after women, to build your SMV... and it's like ok... I've done that for a year now, when CAN I chase after women? People make it out as if building the interesting lifestyle is of importance but the goal is still the same. I'm interested in starting a business eventually... I'm interested in redpill... I'm interested in teaching...but I don't think that counts in terms of building an interesting lifestyle.

[–]1RPSigmaStigma1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

thanks man.

The only down side is if you start expecting too much from women. The trick is to chase tail while not pedestalizing any one woman or expecting women to never fuck you over, etc.

Well yeah it's funny. Because of my ex-girlfriend, I have internalized this. I non-stop think about my ex, which is a problem. I know that there tons of other women out there but as it stands she's the only girl I had sex with (and extremely kinky & satisfying sex too). But I know WHY I think about her non stop... it's not that she's special or "The ONE" or anything... it's just that the sex was good and having a woman around who liked me and fucked me and was semi interesting... which is AMAZING if you've never had it but not THAT amazing if you know there are plenty of other women out there willing to give that to you.

The main reason for me wanting to chase tail is I know for a fact once I do, I'll finally forget about her, EASILY, with no doubt in my head about it. So knowing that, as SOON as I start getting tail and it starts snowballing, I'm confident I'll keep that lesson in mind on subsequent women. Believe me.

But like I said, sometimes it's like in my head because of these forums I second guess myself: "Shouldn't I be building more SMV? Is chasing down women like this beta"? But you're right... I should just chase after tail and fuck what everyone else says... I just need to be confident and own it, and I don't need an interesting life to fuck bitches who don't have that interesting of lives necessarily anyway.... I need to go out there and fail and fail and just have fun with it and it'll come to me. Thanks.

[–]1RPSigmaStigma1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Authority8 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's the idea, yeah. The problem is that one can be used to shield from the other. I used to go out dancing and completely ignore women who were obviously interested in me. But not that I focus on going out to game women, the idea of approaching women when I didn't go out with that intention is now becoming a real possibility.

I was on my porch the other day and this older black women with her friend walks by me and says "Good morning" and I don't know this woman. The past me would have either say nothing or said good morning and thought nothing of it. But because I gamed the night before, I was literally like 2 seconds away from stopping this older woman at 9am and spitting game... but I had a hangover and wasn't with it. But the idea is to get to the point where I have that mix, definitely.

[–]vox_veritas0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Chocotop0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Metalaggeddon 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

I get what you're saying but I feel like that's an oversimplification of things. Should the guy who enjoys playing video games, eating doritos & cake who wants hot feminine skinny bitches try to INTEGRATE game into his love of video games & doritos?

I feel like it's perfectly fine to have a discussion about what you should do in order to facilitate optimal situations, because you can grow to love what you're doing even in that case. I didn't like lifting before, but now I feel like I'd die if I stopped. I didn't like meditation but I did it to fix anxiety and now it has had far reaching applications for my life. Going out to talk to bitches is stressful sometimes but if you gain minimal skill, wings will be more willing to go out with you, and you can then have a fun time having someone you consider a friend out with you, so that it's not all about game or going out as you said. But that's a process. But merely doing what you love and trying to integrate game without any changes as I initially stated sometimes can't work out well. I used to spend 100% of my time in my hobby and it didn't let me develop as a person. So I did love what I did but I didn't love who it made me be.

One of the reasons I love gaming is it leads me to interesting people, interesting hobbies, and challenges me more than anything else. It's sort of like if I focus on game, then I find myself in a place where I CAN finally have fun and combine both of those things you were talking about. Perfect example is I used to go out and day game by myself... boring and no challenge. But when I found some wings to go out with... amazing, BECAUSE I have a cool dude I can shoot the shit with, who is motivated and we basically have our own little party and don't give a shit whether interactions go smoothly or non smoothly with bitches. Game led me to RedPill, game led me to lifting, meditation, and a lot of other things. So why not trust in game to lead me further?

[–]Metalaggeddon 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I see what you're saying, but I don't find it an oversimplification. I've dated multiple 7s, less 8s, who were addicted to world of Warcraft, battle field, any RTS they could get their hands on, indie strictly, etc. "Depends on the person obviously" I say seven or 8 strictly because they turned heads at bars and in social settings, the 8s didn't even use makeup.

You can find them, maybe it's my industry giving me a massive leg up, but, if you love it, if you live it, if you lead it, people come. They'll seek you out. Yes there are always exceptions, though instead of thinking personally, that it's an exception to the rule, I think it's an exception to the people living that kind of lifestyle.

Gamers will game. How many of them go competitive? Start a business? Actually pursue their hobby after fund raising, boot strapping, putting together a company? How many actually take their primary passion and force it to make money for them?

What I'm saying is best described by Charles bukowski. One of the most Machiavellian people I've ever had the pleasure to read.

Find what you love and let it kill you.

Addendum to that, letting it kill you brings a lot of people you'll fell strongly about, love or hate, with you. That's where your game should be used. As a secondary application of what you love to bring continent benefits.

Op, you seem pretty cool. Check my history for the gilded, read my value management post. "Pretty old" but hopefully you see where I'm coming from.

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I see what you're saying, but I don't find it an oversimplification. I've dated multiple 7s, less 8s, who were addicted to world of Warcraft.

I thought you were going to say this. But here's the perfect rebuttal (and what I should have included as detail in the first post): what if I'm into gaming and I want women who are not into gaming? I lift because I want muscle but I don't necessarily want a girl who lifts all the time who has muscle (I like thick women... but not chubby is all). I'm an entrepreneur but I don't exactly want some gung ho woman who is all about furthering her career. I want certain types of women. If you liked fish, would you hunt it above water because that's where you like to be most of the time? Or wouldn't it make sense to learn how to swim & catch fish in that environment?

I'll read that post of yours, thanks man.

[–]Metalaggeddon 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

I can suggest two things, but I can't be certain on either.

1) maybe gaming isn't where you actually draw your value. Maybe the experience and action is one of the easiest routes to find wear you truly enjoy. Maybe it's tactics? (Rts) challenge and success? (Rpg) Socialization? (Mmo) High adrenaline? (Fps) doing what you have already mastered with slight change in mechanics and trope? (All the above)

This will be covered in my read, but in addition to that I recently saw a post about a danger (adrenaline, live tactics, battlefield counterstrike guy) who realized the value he was getting was actually able to be shifted, he started wargame paintball, and is able to cover two of his passions in less time, (being active and having his tactics fps fix)

2) The other suggestion is that at no point did I say that you can't love multiple things! If you don't want a girl into what you're into, take something you're interested in, but can't justify the opportunity cost of doing. (Botany and retrovirals are two big ones for me) and go to events or locations in found or off time. Practice and use game there.

Overall, the lesson is still to lead. You have to know what you want to enforce getting it.

Hope that helps op, starting my off night so I'm willing to help, commenting but I'll be sporadic unless it's really compelling. Again, best of luck.

[–]1throwaway-aa2[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

you don't have to respond immediately (or at all), so no worries, I know how it is with Reddit and the comments.

So this is very very interesting point to rebut, and here's the thing. I've been playing game for as long as I can remember. But as I've been going after women more, lifting more, I've realized something about gaming (it's one of my submitted posts on TRP) but basically gaming served as a way to fulfill a need. If you think about it, most games have a POINT. Beat the level, get a high score, beat the opponent, etc. There usually aren't games which you just control some character aimlessly and there's no point to the game (even minecraft has a point to it). Gaming historically to me has represented a way to get easy dopamine. It's a way to exert power over my environment... it's my way of fostering that male relationship and talking shit and improving... but in a very temporary, non fulfilling way. Most games are designed in a way to make you feel good on some level. I wouldn't enjoy most games if not for the mechanic of winning or doing good or killing the bad guy (or the guy on the other side of the world). And this is ultimately where it gets interesting.

What you like is bias ultimately depending on your life references. My ex-girlfriend thought she was having really good sex till she met me.. you get it? The future gives perspective for the past (and the present). I loved gaming and I still do but having satisfying relationships with other people fulfills my need to socialize on games, and stuff like lifting & reading gives me the feeling of improvement (and dopamine) but has long lasting and very pervasive benefits. Gaming in my life has sort of represented masturbation, in that it is a fake substitute for something that is usually preferable and is within your grasp. It's sort of like how if I liked cocaine, sure I like it but it's admittance that I've lost my way that I like it, and that's ultimately what I'm saying to you. I like gaming but I don't want to like it. If I had a choice between gaming and spending a night with a woman having interesting conversation, going somewhere interesting, and then having perverted sex at the end of the night, if I could always choose to have that over gaming, then I'd willingly never play another game in my life... who gives a fuck about leveling up and beating the enemy when I can make a satisfying connection with someone, then go meditate, read & lift and improve myself? Doesn't even make any sense. But I still play games because interaction and sex from a woman is not something I can materialize on demand at the current moment in my life.

I read your post, and it's good and I'll revisit it. I understand a lot of those things now (had to learn a lot of them the hard way) but basically I spend 80% of my time on myself and I know my weaknesses and strengths very ruthlessly. Even right now I shouldn't be on fucking Reddit but at the same time doing all this has very much solidified what I should be going after. But thanks man, no reply necessary, I'll reread that post and apply it to my life the best I can. thanks.

[–]Metalaggeddon 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Developing an interesting life, or is this an excuse?
Author	throwaway-aa2
Upvotes	9
Comments	48
Date	June 7, 2015 12:57 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/38wjpq/developing_an_interesting_life_or_is_this_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/developing-an-interesting-life-or-is-this-an.149786 https://theredarchive.com/post/149786

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