Hi, I'm older [46]. Texted a woman I know today for a drink. I have only recently swallowed the red pill after a traumatic experience watching my mom pass away made me decide to start living my life for myself.

Anyway, I had a hot former neighbor I wanted to ask out, J. J. had seemed flirty in the past and one time we were both sitting at a communal table at a coffee shop when a little girl pointed out my (nearly shaved) bald head and said "mommy that man has no hair." I laughed and said "Its terrible, who would ever want to date me."

J piped up "I would go out with you." Back then I was avoiding dating because of all the crap dating really is.

Recently I moved to another place in the neighborhood and decided to ask her out, after swallowing the pill. We exchanged some E-mails on a different subject and she included her phone number. I wanted experience and to practice some of the things I've been learning from my readings.

So I texted her today to see if she wanted to have a drink tonight. I'm meeting up with a soft plate "S" (is there such a thing?) later to give her "business advice" so I have a relatively tight schedule.

J responded "um not like a date, right? I have to be over at [name of bar] at 730 and able to read Spanish and sing at the same time 6 or 6:30 could work."

So I'm thinking this isn't going to work out and I don't want to spend time with her after getting the "not like a date" line, but I wanted to keep frame, while nexting her. So I texted back "Wow that's a tight schedule. I thought my 9 PM at [name of other bar] was making it tight. Maybe some other time."

She responded "I'm sorry that's tight, love to some other time."

Now I'm thinking this is a nexting situation, as "um not like a date right?" is enough for me. But I wanted to know if I handled the rest well and if I am implementing what I'm learning. I wanted to keep frame and not sound disappointed about the "not a date" statement and also incorporate some dread.

This stuff seems so against my programming and so right at the same time, so I thought I would get some opinions.