Discovered problem with procrastination, don't know how to fix it.

NiftyDolphin · 2015-03-16T18:35:12+00:00

You've just described my struggle.

Do you have ADD? I ask because I've noticed that a lot of ADD types have the 80-percent-done-is-good-enough attitude. They put a lot of work in on a project when it's a challenge, and then once they get the internal validation that they've accomplished something, they'll drop the project.

The focus becomes more about finishing the project than the accomplishment of doing whatever it is you're doing in the moment. Finishing is work and fuck that.

The only way I've found to get around that block is to tell myself that if I finish my project, it will no longer bother me. If I don't, every time I think about that project, it will bother me. Go for the win.

For the larger, more nebulous projects, I break the project down into bite-sized pieces and then incentivize. It's not: I'm going write a novel. It's: I'm going to write 50 words a day for a week. Even that can be a bit daunting (as it's still nebulous) so I incentivize with a shiny: If I make this week's goal, I'll buy/allow myself X,Y, or Z.

Another motivator is forgiveness. Recognize that you're going to fuck up: either you'll get something wrong or you'll not meet your set goals. Understand that that shit happens and that you're allowed to say "I fucked up" and it's not the end of the world and that you are allowed to try again.

Notice I said "allowed?" That's a big deal. Explicitly give yourself permission to try. Explicitly give yourself permission to fuck up. Explicitly give yourself permission to try again.

As for weight lifting, just get in the gym. Do this even if you don't want to do any of the exercises. Just tell yourself you're going to go to the gym and do one set. I usually find that I'm good to go after I get that set in. I may not be Skippy McPerkyTits about being there, but I'm there and not at home on the couch, so I'll grind my sets out.

If you do that one set and still hate being there, go home and come back the next day. But it's very important to keep up the routine of going to the gym.

"Dude, sucking at something is the first step to becoming sorta good at something." - Jake the Dog

Edit: here's the success graph

Myrpl · 2015-03-16T18:18:54+00:00

Are you referring to "the guide to accepting yourself"?

bustanutmeow · 2015-03-16T18:43:10+00:00

I'm going through a similar slump at the moment. Just lack complete drive to start/finish things. Im not sure what i need to do to break it, But im looking for an answer or fix that i can do to cut that annoying shit out.

TRPdating · 2015-03-16T18:50:22+00:00

because I could fail

Here's your problem right here. You need to learn to embrace failure. Failure is not the end of the world, it is an opportunity for you to learn about yourself, an invitation for you to grow. That's all failure is.

There are no tips or shortcuts I can give you, unfortunately. I could tell you to write reminders on your bathroom mirror, or set phone alarms that remind you to lift, but... will it work? Ultimately it is up to you. Ultimately, you have to just make the fucking choice to be the man you imagine in your fantasy, and steel your resolve to continue lifting DESPITE THE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS YOU HAVE.

You can make that choice, step up to the plate and be as strong as possible. No one here can help you with that choice for you. Either you become obsessed with changing yourself, or daydream your youth away.

anothercarguy · 2015-03-16T21:12:22+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you have some underlying anxiety issues, generally caused by mild depression. You may want to consider treatment for that part. A psychiatrist would be a good starting point, then can get you on an SSRI like trazodone that will help the anxiety and depression and doesn't affect libido.

One thing I did to motivate myself was put my goals on a big poster board and stick it on the ceiling above my bed. Every night that poster board was the last thing I saw and every morning it was the first thing I saw. Helped me set my mental game for the day. Of course people gave me shit for it but fuck them, it worked. "Experts" in the field of my goal said it wasn't physically possible, yet I managed.

Title	Discovered problem with procrastination, don't know how to fix it.
Author	canavarish
Upvotes	16
Comments	20
Date	March 16, 2015 5:55 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2z972m/discovered_problem_with_procrastination_dont_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/discovered-problem-with-procrastination-dont-know.147042 https://theredarchive.com/post/147042

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