First date, do we split the check or pay the whole damn thing?

vandaalen · 2017-01-16T10:54:44+00:00

We are not "taking" them on dates. they are allowed to join us.

We don't go to restaurants unless we are hungry, we have a coffee for a first date and then idealy have a second date at their or our place.

We don't pay for them. We at least split the bill or alternate with paying, if we are at a bar.

super_hater · 2017-01-16T11:11:11+00:00

Restaurant dinner for first date is a bad idea.

The girl automatically expects you to pay, and it gets awkward if you don't
harder to touch the girl and escalate, especially when sitting across from each other.
harder to flirt and talk comfortably because of the environment
you're not really doing anything together, so its harder to create chemistry

frerri · 2017-01-16T11:30:42+00:00

If you really need to eat on a first date grab a pizza slice in between bouncing bars.

I've always told the girl to ear before she comes see me because we're just having drinks on my first dates. She respects that.

And the drinks, just tell her we're splitting the check. Don't ask don't be awkward - be in in charge. Maybe she won't like it but she won't say anything about it either. And if she's really in to you she'll ask you what you want to drink and get it for you without hesitation. After this you could get her the next round.

Just be cool and friendly.

Willow-girl · 2017-01-16T13:46:13+00:00

Traditional etiquette was that the person who extends the invitation pays for the date. But I'm old, so what do I know? lol

I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" answer, but either way, make it clear from the outset whether you're buying or plan to go dutch.

I'd say for a first date, make it drinks or coffee only (hence cheap) and pick up the tab.

If you continue to see a girl, by the third date she should be offering to buy or at least split the tab, or inviting you over for a home-cooked meal. In a relationship, a woman should be willing to give as good as she gets.

RedditAdminsSuck_88 · 2017-01-16T13:53:22+00:00

It doesn't matter if you are splitting a candy bar - if you pay for anything of hers - its a loss of frame.

TheRedStoic · 2017-01-16T15:43:42+00:00

I'm not a fan of giving for free.

My time is valuable, more than hers 99%of the time. I'm not stacking cash on top of that.

omega_dawg93 · 2017-01-16T18:45:35+00:00

i make the first move, & i invite... the investment is my time.

i pay for first dates; that's my rule. but i do it with them understanding that date #2 is on them.

if they flake on the agreement, i know who I'm dealing with...a taker.

Terdmuffin · 2017-01-17T00:08:51+00:00

Split, or sometimes I'll pay and tell her she can make it up to me by pouring me a drink at her place. Really depends on the vibe.

Title	First date, do we split the check or pay the whole damn thing?
Author	mewtwokillsarceus
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	January 16, 2017 10:46 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5oa878/first_date_do_we_split_the_check_or_pay_the_whole/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/first-date-do-we-split-the-check-or-pay-the-whole.80874 https://theredarchive.com/post/80874

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