Flirting without being a Dancing Monkey

BeeBopJoe · 2019-09-30T05:33:55+00:00

Everyone has a different personality, u have to play around with ur style to figure out what works for u.

LucyDD69 · 2019-09-30T05:42:08+00:00

I think the best answer is to look deep within. Are your intentions to increase her attraction? In which case, your actions revolve around being that dancing monkey.

Maybe you just want to let loose and say funny shit, only because it makes you happy. In which case, your actions will revolve around a frame of not being a dancing monkey.

You can only fake it so long bud. Develop the mind frame of where women are not the rewards/end goals. Then you won’t have to be jumping through hoops like some needy simp.

69odin420 · 2019-09-30T06:38:03+00:00

The secret is that you have to actually enjoy hanging out with women, not just fucking them. I didn’t use to enjoy hanging out with women cause they’re usually boring to me because they have different interests. Now I enjoy hanging out with some women (the ones that appreciate my humor and have some similar interests). These women can sense that I actually enjoy my interactions with them. They don’t think I’m trying hard because I’m not.

send_it_for_the_boys · 2019-09-30T06:51:54+00:00

I’ve found that saying whatever the fuck you want because you want to along with a chill vibe “voice” and a good smirk does well. The main thing is eye contact, and the type of eye contact there’s genuine friendly eye contact....but you can literally say to a girl hi the weather today is beautiful isn’t it? Whilst saying I’m going to fuck you til the sun goes down with your eyes and body language.

XXXMersenne · 2019-09-30T12:11:23+00:00

The dancing monkey comes from trying to force a reaction

so instead of needing interactions to go a certain way, just feel the emotions currently within your own body and roll with it.

So for example you slow down, breath a bit, and allow yourself the 'luxury' of the (automatically assumed) awkwardness of not knowing what to say (which also comes from the pressure you put on yourself to be & act a certain way). You get in touch with how you feel within yourself: given this post it'll probably be nervousness and desire to 'keep the girl there'/stop her from getting bored and leaving. Go with that, don't resist your anxiousness; for whatever you resist persists. Acknowledge that that's how you feel and act in accordance with it.

I know that doesn't make much sense without lots of social exp so think of it like this:

If you hit your elbow on the corner of a table while approaching her, (regardless of whether or not she saw) you wouldn't macho up and pretend it didn't hurt. You'd hold your elbow because it fucking hurts!

Then you can even use that as an opener: "Shit, did you see that? Yeah, I blame you for being hot what's your name". She laughs and extends a handshake to which you stare at her in confusion then look at your injured arm and back at her. Just a crude example, do whatever you want.

So if feeling nervous just go up with that in your expression and HERE'S THE KEY:

🗝 It's visible to the girl that you're anxious and you're okay with it.

Why is this an excellent approach? Because the girl's going to feel that authenticity in your expression and get the message that 'We're playing the 'keep it real' game'. She can EASILY play along because the social interaction expectations with someone who's being congruent is sensibly lower (especially for someone you don't know!) than someone who's forcing a persona.

In the former you feel the other person is engaging with you well enough, but doesn't NEED it to go a certain way! so you feel free to chat back, and as a thank you for their not forcing you into a role (pedestal/ belittle/ INAUTHENTIC Rhetoricals e.g. "what time is it?") you respond enthusiastically to show appreciation for the effort they've put in to making it NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

You see? Since there's No Downside to talking to you such as feeling bad because you didn't validate the role of being above/below them (because you don't care) They're free to talk because why not?! And the kind of people who approach like this are usually HOT & FUN because they're in abundance enough themselves to approach so sincerely!!

PreMedditor1 · 2019-09-30T05:31:14+00:00

Calm, seductive voice. Masculine frame. How would James Bond do it type stuff

Schhwing · 2019-09-30T07:46:21+00:00

Is a dancing monkey sexual? No. So why would you be that if you had sexual intent?

cydestiny · 2019-09-30T10:27:52+00:00

You don't. You don't have to be motherfucking James Bond to flirt, just play yourself in your own movie.

You'll be a dancing monkey when your SMV is preceived as low by the opposition. Show them the vibe, take it or leave it. You can't control mind but you certainly can read'em.

thrwy75479 · 2019-09-30T07:22:46+00:00

Know yourself, be yourself.

MattyAnon · 2019-09-30T12:55:55+00:00

But, does anyone know how much you should flirt with/tease a girl to build Attraction without becoming a Dancing Monkey? I'm not quite sure how to work that balance yet.

Are you actually trying it? If not, go out and do it.

The dancing monkey is fundamentally down to who has the most control in the situation.

L3onard3 · 2019-09-30T17:48:34+00:00

I like how you’re consistent with the capitalization of “Dancing Monkey.”

mrpoopistan · 2019-09-30T20:46:54+00:00

Control the group dynamic.

I've always gotten the most attention when I'm in groups where I'm the obvious top dog. In those situations, attraction acts like gravity as long as the group is seen as winning in the current context. Even women from outside groups will take an interest you if they see you as in control of your group.

Mind you, it has to be casual authority. From what I've seen, being the alpha dick only turns on certain women, and they're usually the ones who'll let a trailer park drug dealer move in with them. To cast the widest net, you want to have a casual sort of control of a winning group of people that's visible in a public place.

From there, basic techniques (kino, building comfort, etc) can be rolled out steadily and with confidence.

If you're rolling solo, command presence is a good way to convey the same thing without a group present to validate you.

Title	Flirting without being a Dancing Monkey
Author	nicksaiz65
Upvotes	47
Comments	27
Date	September 30, 2019 5:27 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/db6z8f/flirting_without_being_a_dancing_monkey/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/flirting-without-being-a-dancing-monkey.287118 https://theredarchive.com/post/287118

Comments

The dancing monkey comes from trying to force a reaction

🗝 It's visible to the girl that you're anxious and you're okay with it.