FR: Confrontations with others

ta_red_light · 2020-02-08T10:36:11+00:00

You have to act wisely. Lose the battle, win the war.

If the odds are against you, it is better for you to retreat and dont say anything instead of getting beat to death.

If the situation is not that dire and you can be the AMOG, do it.

FereallyRed · 2020-02-08T14:59:14+00:00

You're engaging obvious dickheads.

Why?

What do you get out of it?

Run the pro/con through your head before confronting someone. Is it worth it? You do know you can't change other people.

Take your big ego out of the picture. Nobody appointed you as social justice warrior. I bet you don't even have a badge.

Some guy cut a drink line and another guy played his music loud? Fucking first world problems.

Don't sweat the small stuff.... and realize pretty much everything is small stuff.

fretty555 · 2020-02-08T10:25:25+00:00

I personally find that with situations like this the best way to go about this is with the question "why". A lot of these people are borderline retarded and major pussies behind the scenes (all you have to do is picture how they are when they're alone, you'll figure out how unfortunate their lives are very easily). So the best way to go about it is with a very calm and straight face asking "why did / would you do that?" You'll see them enter their own psyche rummaging for an answer they can't seem to find, and eventually they'll realize how moronic they act and sound, some won't though due to the depths of their sheer moronity. For the guys who shrugged it off in front of you, you should've just gone it front of them and shrugged it off, and see how they react hahaha. But in the end you noticed you got your drink first, so the lesson in all of it is it doesn't matter what other people say or do, if you stick your principles and the goodness of your heart everything will tend to work out. As for him bumping into you you should've bumped into him and knocked him a few feet so he can finally fuck off.

ArnoldT1000 · 2020-02-08T11:02:53+00:00

You can do whatever the fuck you want if you have enough time and energy to waste on these people.

Ignore them and do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyway; pretend they don’t exist

trwawyrnd · 2020-02-08T11:11:04+00:00

people who usually do these things have some kind of issue going on but how you let it affect you and how you react is what's important.

IMO, these people crave attention and some kind of reaction from people and are fueled to by it so the best course of action will be determined by the exact situation.

for example, an elderly woman skiped the line and went before me at the cash register and I allowed her. Another situation, a jacked guy skipped the line and went before me at the cash register, however I still went up and placed my order while ignoring the him, all the while I could feel him staring at me. after I got my order I went to the condiments section and he turns around looking confused at what happened.

lolomotif12 · 2020-02-08T11:39:20+00:00

My friend, I understand your frustration but unless you are able to fight and are confident in yourself avoid confrontation in public because there is a fine line between self defence and assault and also you run the risk of getting your ass kicked. You always need to ask yourself "is it worth it"?

theUnBannableHulk · 2020-02-08T11:22:25+00:00

Talk smack get smacked

Be ready to throw down with a dude who gets butthurt and wants to fight you. Nothing wring with calling out bad behaviour but if you air ready to get into a fight you’re gonna have a bad time

ledsdeadbaby · 2020-02-08T14:19:27+00:00

I wouldn’t get to upset over line jumping at a bar. I always saw those situations of every man for themselves in terms of getting a drink. If there is clearly a queue with ropes or something, I get that.

I had some massive hick try to fight me at a bar where my friend and I walked up to open bar spots saying we had cut them in line. Luckily after about five minutes I was able to talk him down and get the guy to laugh, but shit I thought I was gonna get my ass beat in front of a bunch of people since I am not to big.

BusterVadge · 2020-02-08T15:36:06+00:00

Same thing happened in the gym a week ago when a new guy comes in blasting his own music over a portable speaker. Everyone just looks at him WTF? but no one approaches him to turn it off. He just stares everyone down obviously daring anyone to approach him. It's loud enough where it goes through my head phones and ruins my music. I'm not going to let this guy ruin my workout so I approach him and kindly ask him to turn it down. He does, but jacks it up a couple minutes later.

This is an issue with your gym. If the gym staff can't handle a clown like this then it's time to find a new gym.

muricanwerewolf1 · 2020-02-08T17:45:57+00:00

In order:

Because they’re assholes. You are allowed. Most people are confrontation adverse and will tolerate other people’s bullshit because they’re afraid of the possibilities of something like what happened with you and your girl. I’ve learned the only way someone who decides they’re in the right being inconsiderate is being a bigger asshole than they are to the extent they don’t want to deal with you.

So you’ve got two options. You can ignore these people. Someone at the bar being an asshole, who you’re never going to see again, you just let it go. It’s not worth it. If it’s someone you have to deal with every day, like music boy, I’d go to the staff first to see if they’ll do something about it, (it’s their fucking job after all) and if not then it’s time to be a bigger prick than he is. If he learns his workout is gonna he interrupted every time he brings his music in around you he’ll knock it off eventually.

I basically have to go through this every year with my neighbors. New college kids move in and I have to go over there and tell them I’m not gonna tolerate their fucking music, or them acting like goddamn porch monkeys. They get a visit from the dickhead next door a few times, the cops get called, they learn it’s probably better to keep it inside.

warburgio · 2020-02-08T19:06:39+00:00

Easiest is find a person who is responsible for the venue- dear bouncer, this guy is aggressive and attacks my gf ( better if ur gf complain), dear gym person this douche does this and that. Otherwise treating them like little girls and ridiculing them seem to make them boil out of anger which is always fun. Depends where u live- if u live in ok country go for that, if in not so ok country and can get stabbed over a trivial thing then id advise letting it go.

notashittyperson69 · 2020-02-08T19:54:21+00:00

Never break frame. Laugh it off and make fun of the other guy when the other guy is pissed.

intl_plyrs_clb · 2020-02-09T02:25:16+00:00

but it's about the principle for me

No one gives a fuck about your principles and posting about them here on the internet isn't going to make anyone care either.

Get out of your ego: Who appointed you line jumper or music volume police?

Think about the worst case of escalating with a stranger; is it worth it?

Now think about the best case, the persons stops whatever you asked them to stop and basically you got your ego stroked. How much is that really worth?

halleluiaiaia9292 · 2020-02-08T10:25:41+00:00

I think you did the right thing. The guy jumping the line is affecting you and so is the guy in the gym.

In terms of how to do it. I think saying it calmly but assertively is the right way. Kind of how you would tell a kid who is misbehaving.

If the other person throws a tantrum, you also keep your cool and your ground. You only escalate if the person becomes violent.

fretty555 · 2020-02-08T10:27:57+00:00

Just show how genuinely pissed off you are with the words and actions of people who act like this and they'll finally shut the fuck up because they only do these things because they're pussies who need to try and prove something. But whatever try and love everybody too idk

melungeonmuscle · 2020-02-08T15:07:17+00:00

Keep a can of pepper spray on you and tell them they better act right. If they start acting retarded mace them in their mouth and GTFO.

Most of these retards don’t keep health insurance because they’d rather waste the money on Bluetooth speakers and alcohol so it will be a good lesson for them and you don’t have to get your hands dirty or risk killing them.

There’s cases where people have died from one punch to the head and you don’t want to risk a charge anyway. I got into a lot of fights when I was young and it’s never as satisfying as you think it’s gonna be to hurt some fool.

Loquacious_Dragon · 2020-02-08T12:14:21+00:00

Question: Why do people act with disregard for other people? Are we not allowed to call them out on their behavior and hope they can change? I know the best way is to not confront people and keep moving, but maybe that's what is causing these problems in the first place.

You're a fucking delusional white knight snowflake, a complete idiot and to top it all off a pussy.

This isn't the blue pill, the world isn't sunshine and rainbows, no one gives a single fuck about you or what you think.

You did call someone out and got exactly the reaction you should have expected, are you really naive enough to think a stranger's going to shake your fucking hand and apologise to some soi boy who accused him of cutting in line in a fucking bar?

What is the best way to approach these situations to defuse and make people understand that what they are doing is objectively wrong? What would you guys have done?

People already know what they're doing, they just don't give a fuck about your opinion on the matter and won't unless you're willing to escalate the situation to kicking the fuck out of the other person, so just let it go snowflake.

You completely fucked up.

"Hey this guy just cut us!" with a smile to make sure it doesn't escalate to anything. I just figure he laughs it off and goes to the back of the line, but nah.

So you start off with a nice smile to him to ensure it doesn't escalate...

You're a fucking pussy and he knows it.

The two guys in front shrug it off "what are you gonna do?" but the guy I called out starts running his mouth. Obviously I don't want to get into a fight over a line jumper, but it's about the principle for me: don't do shit that you wouldn't be done to you. This escalates with me going up to the bar and telling him you can't just cut people. He starts yelling back but I stand still and order my drink.

So you're a white knight and you just stood still like an autistic fuck.

A bunch of people saw this and the bartender got my drink first. This guy keeps going off but never gets too close. I just maintain frame with my girl and tell him to have a good night while he's running his mouth.

Should have just ignored him.

See him on the dance floor a few times and he just starts bumping into my girl and me aggressively. His buddies keep looking over and anticipating something. I'm not going to leave the bar (great dancing scene), but I do try to keep him in my line of vision. He bumps into my girl pretty hard and she stepped in to tell him to back off before even I could do anything. I was right behind her staring him down and told him to just walk away.

Here's the crucial point on why you've completely fucked up, every gay little thing you did led to this situation, where he's now escalating to a degree that can't be ignored.

He's getting physical with you and your girl, at this point the only option left to maintain your dignity is to kick the fuck out of him, your girl now knows you're a massive fucking vagina and it your fault, could have just let it go or nipped it in the bud at the bar.

I mean the very fact you feel the need to write an essay on your perceived offences and entitlement really says it all.

OfficerWade · 2020-02-08T13:04:43+00:00

Ive had this happen on two seperate occasions that i can recall. While i was at the groscery store about two weeks ago, a man walked by my car while i was loading my stuff. He said "thats not a parking spot" and i flipped him off. i dont know why i did it, i was alone. But i thought wtf? He set his stuff done in the car walked back to me and started going awol.. " You FLIPPED ME off?" i knew if he got hot i was going to have to fight, so i extended my reach to tell him to stop right there and go back to his car. I dont know if he was scared out of his mind but he just shook his head and walked away.

There was a lady with kids right beside me watching this unfold and even a few passerbys. I could only digest that none of them were going to stop a fight. Nobody cares

Title	FR: Confrontations with others
Author	ValorElite
Upvotes	10
Comments	25
Date	February 8, 2020 9:40 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/f0pi6v/fr_confrontations_with_others/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/fr-confrontations-with-others.331219 https://theredarchive.com/post/331219

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