Friends after LTR

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-25T11:14:58+00:00

Look, short and most realistic answer is "over".
She also doesn't want a friendship, she's looking into getting whatever you used to offer her, most likely emotional support, without offering physical intimacy back.

Long, RP and hopeful answer is:
Tell her "yeah, I guess. Sorry for taking long to answer, it made me upset admitting you are right."
Assume it's over, move on NOW, raise your SMV by dressing really well and fucking get fit if you aren't. Pick up one or two hotter chicks¹, ask her for a hint with the hotter chicks.
It should make your ex attracted again.

1 They don't really have to be hotter, although they should be for your sake. You've been with your ex for a year, you know what aspects she's insecure about. The chicks might be ugly if they own these aspects.

absolucion · 2016-11-25T15:16:48+00:00

It's over. You're not friends. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Move on before she fucks you over.

Johnny_McDerp · 2016-11-25T15:33:57+00:00

Your story happened to me OP. My 10month gf left me (went full beta...) I started to go to the gym a few weeks before the breakup and I'm now following the RP path thoroughly.

We didnt saw each other for a month, no communication either. And then out of the blue we chatted on facebook and arranged to have a meal together. I went to that date with confidence, having increased my SMV, and she clearly noticed that. But she also told me she saw a guy during those 3 weeks and It didnt go well, so she was clearly seeking validation. I saw an opportunity, gamed her a bit and we fucked at her place.

A week later we chat again and she's back with the "I don"t wanna lose you, you mean a lot to me" clearly trying to friendship me. We argued a bit about the meaning of all of this and I concluded by saying that I like spending time with her BUT I wasn't ok with seeing her if she's not ok to escalate to sex now and then.

Another week goes by and I'm at her place for the evening. She craves for sex (she plainly told me) but she's hamstering hard trying not to succumb to her desire.... For a while. We obviously end up in her bed and I give her the fucking of a lifetime.

So now It's like that. I'm not back to a relationship with her, we don't speak that much or at all during the week. but during the weekends if we plan something together It ends up with a good fucking. I know she's looking for someone else, I'm also looking for other girls, so this situation will not last forever but It suits me at the moment.

Back to you question: You have to really increase you SMV by a lot to get her back as a LTR, because she knows you very well, you can't fake it. That mean It will not happen in weeks, but probably (if ever...) in months. So get shredded, get a raise or change your job for a better one, move forward in your life,make plans, don't let her think you are waiting for her, don't tell her about you thinking about getting back together, that will just bring her back to the mental state in which she was when she decided to leave you.

And to conclude you have one question to answer: Do you want to get her back as a LTR or just to fuck her again?

If it's the primer, I would suggest monk mode and no contact with her for a while. You have to increase your smv without her being present during the increasing phase, else she will get used to your progressive improvement and would not notice the full extend of your efforts, thus minimizing your smv = not getting back together.

If you just want to fuck her again, dress well, get a haircut, get confident, play on your strengths, and absolutely refuse to just be friend, do not act as a beta, don't buy her shit or give her free massage or such stuff. She'll get the message that she'll lose you and all the benefits you brought if there's no sex. You then have to escalate to sex when the situation could lead to it and give her a very good fucking so she calls you back for more now and then.

dendsm111 · 2016-11-25T18:30:29+00:00

Sidebar man. C'mon

Willkuer_ · 2016-11-25T20:33:16+00:00

If you consequently leave her you might be able to reframe after around a 6 months to a year. (Not that reframing is really reasonable though)

Reframing requires you to improve your SMV significantly. This is only possible if you have the potential.

Now considering you just leave her. Then the redpill advice #1 is maximizing your SMV according to your potential.

You see independent on the approach - reframe or next - you need to maximize your SMV. Just do that. If there is a possibility to reframe and if you really want to return to your ex when you don't need her anymore you can decide later.

RedAsBlood · 2016-11-26T14:31:39+00:00

No. Just no.

Move on.

She is just keeping you around for emotional validation.

Don't be her shoulder to cry on.

RPShitlord · 2016-11-28T14:40:21+00:00

You can be blunt with her. She's your fuck buddy or fuck off.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-12-02T03:31:24+00:00

Lol her staying friends with you is a sure fire way that you will never EVER fuck her again. You are basically rolling over to do.

Just accept it's over and walk away, stop being attached like a kid is with his teddybear. No closure, walk away like a ghost. Maybe one day she'll be back to suck your cock for that sweet lost validation she once receaved.

If you stay friends the best you get is her crying on your shoulder about how some Chad faceblasted in her eyeball and dumped her afterward.

[deleted] · 2016-11-25T22:19:12+00:00

She's probably already banging another guy and is letting you off easy to ease her guilty conscience. Move on. Life is too short to waste on a girl who isn't attracted to you.

Title	Friends after LTR
Author	suphate
Upvotes	7
Comments	15
Date	November 25, 2016 11:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5et2f0/friends_after_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/friends-after-ltr.78123 https://theredarchive.com/post/78123

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