Getting over her by getting shit off chest?

fnordsnord · 2018-04-03T16:29:38+00:00

No, it's not worth it.

The more you stir shit, the more it stinks.

Droogas · 2018-04-03T16:26:50+00:00

I read that title wrong

rayrayray1234 · 2018-04-03T16:40:39+00:00

That shit on your chest is called your ego, you think you’ll feel better but I promise you will feel way worse if you contact her. You have to get over it by yourself.

Graylander54 · 2018-04-03T16:25:22+00:00

It comes down to why you are doing it. If you need to get it off your chest, then why does it matter what she thinks? If you need it for personal development, great, it's "beta" to worry.

Zanford · 2018-04-03T18:49:37+00:00

Nope. Not worth it. It will not bring you closure, in fact, judging by the kind of person she is, she will just twist the knife to make you feel worse.

Right now, you ended the relationship with dignity (you ended it, and you ignored her shallow jealousy play by blocking her). If you go pouring your heart out to her like a woman, you will feel like a bitch.

Talk to a good male friend, or your dad, or even a therapist.

You obviously aren't over her (here you are, a YEAR after things ended, making a post bout her...) so you need to get over her. She got into your head and you need to get her our like the cancer she is. Go out and find new chicks etc .

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-04-04T03:26:14+00:00

Closure is for girls. Hard next and move the fuck on.

kaoussi · 2018-04-03T16:34:30+00:00

Do you think texting her, after a year of radio silence, to get shit off my chest is worth it? Seems beta as fuck to me, but could be quite rewarding. What do you think?

What do you mean by quite rewarding here?

I don't think you need to say anything, don't write to her a big load of text to tell her how you're sorry for the way you treated her.

I'd actually recommend you to avoid those thoughts and just let her live life, and you should the same man, I guess one year is more than enough to forget about a relationship.

imboredofitall · 2018-04-03T16:35:20+00:00

I've done it once to a LTR; I sent her a long email just telling her what I should have during our two-year relationship. I knew full-well she would lose all attraction she had for me once I bled my feefees and thoughts to her; I partially did it so we could both move on.

And did she. The thing was that I was waiting for something from her, knowing she wouldn't do it; see, men are the romantics.

Did she respond in kind? Nope.

And then I was left waiting for her. The kicker was that I broke up with her after she had begged me to stay with her repeatedly and here she was, as the winner, the one who turned me away. Then my focus became on her instead of my own life and new women.

Don't reach out to her, just spend an afternoon by yourself, meditating over it, speaking to yourself out loud (helped me) about why it ended the way it did and forgive yourself

She's sending you snaps of her new man, how do you think she'd respond to you now?

semirelevantknt · 2018-04-03T16:48:10+00:00

I've had a similar situation happen to me and it came out for the better. The mind games get so much at times and sometimes you need to both understand where the other is coming from.

This might not be good for you in your case because you guys split up on bad terms so getting stuff off your chest after one year... I can almost guarantee you wont feel any better afterwards.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2018-04-03T17:36:35+00:00

You wanna get shit off your chest?

GO TO THE FUCKING GYM AND LIFT

Repeat until you really don't care about her anymore, and care more about yourself. It may take a few weeks, months, or years...

redpilledprince · 2018-04-03T19:33:32+00:00

If you need to get shit off your chest talk to your male friends.

DaddyIssues6 · 2018-04-03T20:23:23+00:00

Same thing happened to me and I told myself the same thing, "I'm not pursueing," and I thought I actually believed it. I intended to forgive her for my toxic behavior because I wanted to walk out as the "good guy"; turns out, when I did, I didn't get the reaction I predicted and then I fell back into beta/oneitis.

Don't do it. I would actually say to do it if you were clearly pursuing. If you want to get it off your chest, tell someone close to you - having someone know whats going on, might make you forgive yourself for making those mistakes.

juliusstreicher · 2018-04-03T21:18:20+00:00

Do you think texting her, after a year of radio silence, to get shit off my chest is worth it? Seems beta as fuck to me, but could be quite rewarding. What do you think?

It's beta as fuck.

walawalawa · 2018-04-03T22:06:47+00:00

Do you think texting her, after a year of radio silence, to get shit off my chest is worth it? Seems beta as fuck to me, but could be quite rewarding. What do you think?

You have an obsessive, co-dependent relationship. To even ask the question is to reveal you've been thinking about this situation and the drama.

You're addicted to drama. Start finding healthier outlets for this and deal with that co-dependency which you need to make you feel alive.

McNeg · 2018-04-03T23:22:32+00:00

Write down everything you want to say to her then shred it, or burn it if you're feeling dramatic.

There you go.

whatever11111111 · 2018-04-03T18:58:35+00:00

Closure is a myth. Learn your lessons and remember to always be moving forwards.

Title	Getting over her by getting shit off chest?
Author	UHadUnoJob
Upvotes	6
Comments	28
Date	April 3, 2018 4:21 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/89fiy1/getting_over_her_by_getting_shit_off_chest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-over-her-by-getting-shit-off-chest.127093 https://theredarchive.com/post/127093

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