Ghosted after a seemingly successful first date

Psychological_Radish · 2020-10-05T15:20:09+00:00

This is impossible for any of us to answer, as you well know. But here's what I think is the most likely scenario:

She wanted to fuck, and you didn't fuck her.

What happened was you didn't nail her when she was horny and giving you clear signals, which automatically devalued you in her eyes. Then her ADD brain flitted to the next Chad in her feed. Probably she met someone else who gave her the dick that she wanted, and promptly deleted her Bumble profile once the deed was done.

Now sometimes girls will give you another chance if you're the top option, but that's a very tough hand to play when she has infinite choices on a dating app.

I've written about moving quickly with dating app hoes in previous posts. I strongly urge you to check those out.

Emervila · 2020-10-05T15:15:52+00:00

we exchanged pleasantries

You didn't fuck her so what do you expect from her?

i-am-the-prize · 2020-10-05T15:33:34+00:00

always push for a bit more. better that she has to say 'no', than having her wish you had tried. (and for real, for your own enjoyment) but for a moment, let's be empathetic....

you know the saying for men: "regret is worse than rejection"? i think there's a female flip side to this....

rejection is the worst!

you see, she wanted you. you didn't know that she did ("dur, how could you!" -says BP angel on your shoulder***) but she wanted you. and that means she thought about fucking you and sucking you and being a bad girl ^TM. When you didn't escalate - by her solipsistic view, you rejected her. now when she thinks of you, she thinks of the rejection. and fuck all that, she's a queen! no one puts baby in the corner! so now she is rejecting you and your confusion and follow up texts gives her lolz.

*** which is why "always assume attraction" should be your guide. women are used to being esclated on, so when they aren't down, they put up real covert body language blocks and even overt "no's". So if you're spending time with a honey and she's not blocking, KEEP GOING. she will tell you when she means NO. And a secret: she wants a man who is assertive enough to find out for himself. not some manchild who needs his mommy to hold his hand all the way to pound town.

red__Man · 2020-10-05T17:06:32+00:00

she probably found another dude

consider it a win, because girls who change their minds this quick aren't worth your time anyway

acoltismypassport · 2020-10-05T19:21:33+00:00

I've had dates with women before where, despite having a good time, and them believing things were going great, I ghosted/phased them out soon after. The last few occasions this happened, the reasons were thus:

Girl 1: I noticed through our messages that she seemed to drink a lot/get fucked up days in a row. I don't want to date degenerates, so I phased her out. In her mind, she probably had no idea why 'this guy ghosted on me.'

Girl 2: Singaporean international student. Constantly bragged about her family wealth, trust fund, all the expensive shit she had. Hard pass, I don't give a fuck. I literally wouldn't care if she was broke or royalty.

Girl 3: Mentioned in passing she had not one, but TWO stalkers. She was obviously doing shit to goad these guys on, or are personality traits that encouraged this kinda shit. Ghosted her soon after the admission.

I've been ghosted once or twice after the first date stage, and god only knows why it happens. Unlike you, however, I don't have oneitis, so the other women I'm working on generally take their place.

Wolfgang985 · 2020-10-05T15:30:07+00:00

Nobody here can give you a clear and definitive answer.

You met her on a dating app. There's a high probability that she wanted to fuck you on that date. Alternatively, maybe there's another guy she's more interested in. Who knows.

Women are flakey, and many times we miss opportunities. Next time go in for the grand slam and don't assume a dating app girl is there for anything more than a new lay.

yoitsericc · 2020-10-05T17:34:43+00:00

I remember old Tom Leykis shows he used to tell guys not to talk too much on first dates because women will use the most random, strange things to disqualify a man.

Examples: he doesn't like cats, doesn't want kids, voted for so and so, believes or doesn't believe in God, etc.

You probably said one weird thing that drove her away without realizing it. Women use the most bizarre, silly things to disqualify because they have a bit too much power on the dating market, especially on apps.

Either that or she wanted to bang first date and you didn't escalate. Maybe you had more of a serious boyfriend vibe and she was trying to have some fun. Either way, it's a dumb reason to disqualify but you have to just expect that from modern women. They're insane.

Ryzza778 · 2020-10-05T15:14:33+00:00

Jesus thats brutal af

fitbae92 · 2020-10-05T16:21:50+00:00

Cuz women are goofy. It could be any number of reasons. That's why you need to expand your search. Self improve and play volume. You'll find that when you have a lot of women, you'll also ghost chicks.

319Skew · 2020-10-05T19:52:39+00:00

Guy A.

Sits her on a bench overlooking this beautiful sunset, makes goofy jokes, touches her hands and walks her home after exchanging pleasantries.

Guy B

Picks her up on a motorcycle, brings her to his fav bar where he's fucked half the waitresses, makes sexual advances to her and practically fingers her under the table. He drops her off and just walks in since he knows he'll fuck her so he fucks her at her place. He then goes home, gets drunk passes out and forgets about her till next Tuesday.

What do you think she'll do when guy A hits her up with an "it's nice meeting you" and corny joke? Especially if she can still feel sore from guy B.

XXXMersenne · 2020-10-05T21:32:53+00:00

If you knew Game, not only would you know all girls HB7+ are a hi-five or two away from grooling, but you'd know how to engineer a situation where SHE could pull YOU. Just gotta set the right horny bait and if she's down she'll bite—but that's the sort of self-indulgence Game meastros enjoy having invested time & energy to learn—most of the time you'll have to make the standard move of taking charge; which is also great fun when you're smoooth aka self-amused & engaged without attachment.

As for your question, I made the same mistake before; namely, she doesn't wanna show up for another fucking PG date. she wanted her holes abused the first time round, but of course, due to the nature of le discourse, she can't exactly tell you that.

My nigga, it's 2020, you always fuck on the first date, because it's not a big fucking deal—get it out the way quick, which means get hot, sweaty, nasty & just fucking Let. Go. Then, the next time you meet you'll look forward to.. a hike or ice skating or egging & house teepeeing cus the whole sex thing is sorted; you can have a quickie in the restaurant bathroom like it's nothing & crack on with somn else. Sounds like modern day degeneracy but no, it's rather I think the exuberant surfeit (especially among younger peeps) after having broken the "nice" of a previously prudish approach with was in retrospect totally unnecessary, stupid re-enactment of poor social programming. so we flip a bird to the conditioning that could have fucked the awesome relationship we now have by flexing at the polar extreme. Zero self consciouness

iny_m · 2020-10-05T15:30:38+00:00

Because women are worse than men now and they will lie and fake no matter what.

That’s why I moved out of USA.

benhurensohn · 2020-10-05T15:13:00+00:00

Because you broke all the rules of trp and went full beta.

ONLY TEXT FOR LOGISTICS. GOD DAMN IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

power_cleaner · 2020-10-05T17:01:11+00:00

Maybe because she just wasn’t that attracted to you

deeznutsbeswingin · 2020-10-05T15:43:20+00:00

Next time fuck her on the first date and don’t do the good morning texts ever again, let them chase you. You were either giving off boyfriend vibes on the date or you had her and didn’t go for the bang so now she doesn’t see you as a man. It legit be that black and white these days

Title	Ghosted after a seemingly successful first date
Author	caffeine_at_night
Upvotes	18
Comments	36
Date	October 5, 2020 3:09 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/j5l3ob/ghosted_after_a_seemingly_successful_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ghosted-after-a-seemingly-successful-first-date.315025 https://theredarchive.com/post/315025

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