Help brothers

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-02-25T17:10:03+00:00

I am just petrified of actually asking a girl to hang out.

Go do it. If you fail, great, you got more experience.

Your alternative is learning to suck dick, so your call.

huge_gap · 2018-02-25T17:31:34+00:00

Got to start approaching and failing. If you get excited about a girl you see, then suddenly get fear in your gut, doing an internal countdown like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and then approaching and talking to her works well. After each approach it gets easier, your confidence and success rate increases.

Ojm8 · 2018-02-25T16:54:36+00:00

Dude... seriously? How many times do we have to tell you? Sidebar, Sidebar, Sidebar.

kardz35 · 2018-02-25T17:00:37+00:00

Man there’s no real way aside from finding a comfortable way to start s convo.

For me I’d rather be an honest pussy and fumble then not at all. And I’ve done it.

I’ve literally gone up to a girl and done one of a few things;

Me: I don’t usually approach girls cold. I’m not a big player. But if you are interested, here’s my number. Give me a call or text and we can schedule something.

I give them my number because it doesn’t make them feel weird about giving out theirs. There’s no pressure. And you know if they text they are at least partially interested.

Other times I’d just be honest and tell them hey, I’ve been in a relationship for a while and haven’t played the field. I’m interested in dating and a bit rusty. Here’s my number if you want to do something some time.

Watch some coach Cory Wayne on YouTube.

I really don’t have much game but I do well. I’m just deadly blunt. I don’t hide my short comings. And I do everything I can to not give a fuck. I’m also ok with getting rejected or taking the big L. (Loss). It’s really not a big deal. Just fumble and do it.

If you fumble sometimes you can still recover the ball. You’d be surprised.

thesmithofwords · 2018-02-25T18:33:04+00:00

I was in your shoes exactly. Girls were into me, but I would never actually take advantage of that even though I knew 100% they would be receptive. You just need to power through that ONE first time, once that is out of the way it is much easier. Just do it, say "fuck it" and invite her out for a drink.

Trust me I looked for other solutions but just manning up and taking the plunge is the only way. Alcohol can help if you need it.

lookoutitscaleb · 2018-02-25T22:14:28+00:00

How do you get better at playing music? You suck a lot and keep playing.

How do you get better at playing a sport? You suck a lot and keep playing.

How do you get better at talking to people and interacting socially? Don't engage, stay home and watch Netflix.

newflame97 · 2018-02-25T18:25:51+00:00

Do you want to win? Or do you want to win if it's convenient?

FUCK_REDDIT_22 · 2018-02-25T18:48:45+00:00

dude just fucking do it, with modern day texting and messaging it's even easier to do that task

thegabescat · 2018-02-25T19:09:02+00:00

Go out and fail. Over and over. Until failure is not scary for you anymore.

I once asked a girl out and was petrified, very similarly to how you describe yourself. We are on the date and I am so nervous and can't think of anything except not fucking up. The situation intensifies inside my head and I literally have nothing to say. The more the seconds pass, the more tense I get. Classic vicious cycle. I apologize profusely to the girl for being a non speaking jackass. Date ends, thankfully. There was no 2nd date. But on my next first date I was not as bad (still not good though). The next date .... better. And after all that fear over nothing, I overcame it all. No problems like that anymore.

im_on_the_comeup · 2018-02-25T21:46:14+00:00

Live and learn. Do you engage in any habits or activities that increase your anxiety? Try dropping or reducing the time spent on them. Instead, work at what you want to get better at. Talk to girls, fail, learn from your mistakes and keep moving up.

bush2874 · 2018-02-26T01:21:59+00:00

Try getting involved in things you are interested in and find cute girls to talk to there. When you are talking about something you are passionate about it’s not scary to talk, it’s exciting. Then ask them to coffee or whatever. Nbd

PhaedrusHunt · 2018-02-26T01:22:10+00:00

Go get rejected a hundred times til you don't feel it. I've been rejected tonnnnnns of times. I can only remember a handful. What I remember more are the girls I banged and the shitty feeling of the shots I never took. There are quite a few super hot women I probably could have slept with but didn't because I didn't take the chance.

yaboy_3343 · 2018-02-26T04:02:49+00:00

Stop being a pussy. It really is that simple. Yeah you'll fail but who cares. Fail until your anxiety disappears. Fail until you succeed. Just do it

teentrp2000 · 2018-02-25T18:53:21+00:00

I'm assuming this is because you're afraid of rejection. Personally, I'd start cold approaching random girls you see. That will get you desensitized to the feeling of rejection without being awkward(you likely won't see them again).

The other thing that you gotta remember is that you're not special if you ask a girl out and fail. Chances are this has happened multiple times with the girl in question.

Nobody's gonna make fun of you, it's not gonna be awkward if you ask a girl out and get rejected because it's a normal thing.

Title	Help brothers
Author	iiKarambit
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	February 25, 2018 4:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/805k6e/help_brothers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/help-brothers.124648 https://theredarchive.com/post/124648

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