Help with Confidence/Overthinking

jdoe5 · 2014-07-29T21:15:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LiLBoner · 2014-07-29T17:39:51+00:00

Not the most TRP answer, but I think meditation will help you with that.

And just increase your confidence with practice and some other confidence boosting things like achieving stuff and going to the gym more often.

And maybe practice holding frame, you can care all you want, but if you don't show it, it won't affect them.

DrakeSaint · 2014-07-29T18:26:50+00:00

Be happy by yourself. Fulfill your ambitions. Learn something new. Disregard success on your personal life as spinning plates; take it as a side hobby. If you consider females as a small part of your happiness, instead of a major one, you won't feel pressured to pursue them. Less pressure means you can rationalize any mindset much easier. Thus, any principle you learnt in TRP can be applied, regardless if it's a plan-C-6/10 or a would-fuck-yesterday-9/10.

This is why lifting is so important for you. Your body is the easiest and most noticeable tool to show your personal efforts into a cause. If you're swelling, means you're doing something right. Feeling like you're progressing somewhere is great for your confidence. It boosts your status. By being fit you're already separating yourself from the legion of losers who can't follow the simple rule of being attractive. You could be an art-degree Starbucks barista loser or a fucking billionaire living in Ibiza; being fit increases your SMV, your sexual performance and your confidence.

thepillwastaken · 2014-07-29T19:40:51+00:00

Its life experience.

Think of it as a tennis match:

Nobody shows up and just starts crushing the ball. They suck for a fairly long period. Many quit, and never really try to get better since it is so daunting. Once they practice and work to where they can really hammer the ball they still have to conquer the nerves, the inner confidence that ebbs and flows throughout the match, until one day they are able to execute all the strokes and strategies under pressure and constantly win.

My point - there are people that ask the same question about almost anything, and the answer is almost always hard work and experience.

kingofpoplives · 2014-07-29T20:24:50+00:00

This is one of the tragic truths about dating, for both sexes really. Most of the girls you will get you won't really want. Most of the ones you really want you won't be able to get.

This is because everyone wants to date up -- date someone who's SMV is higher than theirs. But by definition, you will be hard pressed to get any girl with a significantly higher SMV than yours, and an even harder time holding on to them.

This is also why relationships generally work the best when the couple has roughly equivalent SMV.

So, your situation doesn't necessarily indicate a problem, but unfortunately, there also isn't any clear solution other than to improve your appearance, game, and social status to increase your SMV.

As far as over thinking, understanding it's a problem is the first step to solving it. You need to realize it's not a productive behavior pattern, recognize when your start doing it, and deliberately taking steps to put your mind on something else. It takes time but if you keep stopping it when it starts to happen, eventually it will happen less and less.

amonde · 2014-07-29T21:20:37+00:00

I'll try to be on point. Is this a problem you experience in other areas of your life? Do you procrastinate and ruminate a lot on things you are supposed to be doing but don't until you get to a deadline crunch?

If it's women only, then you know it's not a big deal and you just need to practice more will you get a good handle on everything and can just fly on autopilot. (Think of this like driving or walking. It needs to be automatic, if you actively try to do it consciously and deliberately it's hard, strenuous and feels off.)

If it's other things in your life too, then it's easier to start there. Force yourself to act immediately.

masterrod · 2014-07-29T23:10:45+00:00

Learn to enjoy the process and remember perfection won't get you laid.

People are uncertain, they do things that are antithetical all the time, you must learn skills. Love the process, focus on getting better not being the most perfect RP, and act when ever you feel. Also do things that you think are wrong on purpose, to see what will happen.

Title	Help with Confidence/Overthinking
Author	jdoe5
Upvotes	13
Comments	14
Date	July 29, 2014 5:30 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2c269c/help_with_confidenceoverthinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/help-with-confidenceoverthinking.141017 https://theredarchive.com/post/141017

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