How did you get into your ltr?

Popeman79 · 2019-01-28T15:53:19+00:00

It's a very valid question: to bond with a girl and develop a ltr that is based on trust and partnership you need to open up and show your true colors, at least to an extent. How do you maintain frame and dominance if you show that?

The answer is that in the first phase after swallowing the pill, you fake and progressively improve your alphaness by showing no flaws, by being unshameable, etc. Your frame is solid because it seems to be perfect. But the second phase is when you confidently display your flaws but make it so that they aren't weaknesses.

In my case, I'm in a ltr with a girl and I hide almost nothing from her. For example she knows I like drugs, she knows I'm very outgoing socially but can become a bit autistic and a loner at home, she knows I have unresolved issues with my dad, she knows about my back problems that sometimes cause erectyle disfunction. Finally, she also knows I have oneitis for her and I consider her the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes upon.

Still, I'm not ashamed nor weakened by any of that. She can go along for the ride, or find somebody else. If she fucks up, I'll drop her in a heartbeat. I still have plenty of options as many girls actively pursue me, but I don't stray. She knows I won't marry her, and if she can't live with that she's out. I think she respects me more because I'm still alpha to her while owning up to my flaws. I don't fake anything.

To summarize: Just as courage is not the lack of fear, but the ability to always overcome said fear, frame is not the lack of flaws, it's the ability to own up to them and not let them be a weakness.

redditaccountiuse · 2019-01-28T18:58:42+00:00

The heart of the red pill is more simple to me. You can still be in love, romantic, flirty, fun, loyal, committed etc...just remember to put yourself first and stand up for what you want and deserve.

CainPrice · 2019-01-28T16:04:16+00:00

Everybody's story and everybody's path will be different, but I suppose sharing mine can't hurt.

I'm in my late 30s. I was in a bad relationship with a poor sex life and a woman who didn't treat me well despite pouring my heart into things and doing everything "right". Date nights, sensitivity, gifts, conversation, not over-pushing for sex you name it. Everything Cosmo would tell a man he's supposed to do. All it did was give her more ammunition to find shit I was doing wrong or not good enough to bitch about and leave me jerking off another night.

So I find The Red Pill and start doing this shit with the hope of "fixing" my relationship. Working out and acting confident doesn't do much for her. She just thinks I'm an asshole. But being less available, better dressed, and improving my social life works well enough that she starts getting actually afraid of losing me, so sex goes back to once a week, but she works ten times harder to tear me down and bitch about everything. I just shut her down and leave every time, telling her that this isn't how we're doing things any more. Eventually, she just can't take my indifference any more and ends things. I don't really consider that a Red Pill failure. I think not saving that relationship was the best thing that could have happened to me. She hated and pissed all over loser-me, and the second I became a better, healthier, more social, more confident version of myself who wouldn't be shit on, she got insecure. It wasn't a good relationship.

Two seconds out the door, I get into online dating, and it turns out all of this working out and dressing well and being confident and actually trying to have sex with women you want to have sex with works wonders. I had more dates than I had time, and while I wasn't getting laid all the time, it really opened my eyes to how many women out there are totally fine with casual sex while dating. It's most women. Single adults who date have active sex lives. It's just how dating goes. And when you're in your 30s and work out, dating women in their 30s, it's like fishing in a barrel with dynamite.

So I meet my current girlfriend online. We end up texting for about two weeks because I have so many dates lined up ahead of her that I don't have time to go out with her right away, and it turned out that she was pretty good at the game. She knew all about the banter and the pretense. Our first date wasn't that special or amazing. We just talked and touched, and in the parking lot, we made out for about half an hour. Long enough that we didn't have to go to the second location I had planned. She invited me back to her place about 5 minutes away, I followed her home, and lo and behold, her apartment was perfectly clean, the bed was made with fresh sheets, and she was wearing sexy underwear. She was planning on the date going well.

We kept dating, while I dated other people too, and she dragged my ass home eagerly every date. I'd normally never try to make a slutty girl into a girlfriend, but at my age, one consistent partner is a little cleaner and more respectable than a revolving door of women from the internet. It was probably a few months before we were exclusive, though maybe a few months after that before we were actually serious about this whole relationship thing. It's been maybe a year and a half now? We have sex maybe 3 times a week on the average, it's amazing nearly every time, she's really good to me, I'm good to her, and I figure as long as this keeps up, I don't need more women.

alpha-zach · 2019-01-28T16:33:10+00:00

The idea that “men have to lead” this convo is a bit on the blue pill side. It’s not the action of leading, but how most perceive it needing to be done. Also, idk wtf you mean by confess but that seems super blue pill. You don’t confess your love to a woman. You give it in return for her submission.

I’ll tell you how I did it and why it worked for me.

If you go over to MRP you’ll see some important concepts that TRP doesn’t really cover much. Women want to FEEL things. Both good and bad things. Why do we watch sad movies? To feel sad. Why do they have happy endings? To make us happy. Horror movies? To be horrified.

If there was a movie about a guy that just went from normal to happy, it’d be a pretty dull movie. But a movie that goes from sad to happy is a good movie. People enjoy the swing of emotions, and the bigger the gap, the more we enjoy it.

Sad to happy is good. But really sad to really happy is much better.

Why do we neg? To irritate them. Why do we follow with a compliment? To make them feel confident. The swing between feeling irritated and confident gives them a good experience with us. They can’t explain it, but a man that does this just makes them feel good like a good movie.

Most of TRP game is about manipulating this swing of emotions. A lot of blue pill stuff just sticks to giving happy emotions, and women get very bored, overly comfortable. I like laying in bed under a warm blanket, but if I had to do that for ten years, I’d go about as nuts as the women we see divorce rape their blue pill provider husbands.

TRP utilizes the swing between good and bad emotions. Btw, the hotter the girl the bigger that gap needs to be.

Here’s how I did it.

Plate caught the feels.

We’re out drinking, and she’s hinting at wanting to say “I love you.” I have as a hard and fast rule that a man shouldn’t say it first. It expresses way too much emotion and gives her too much control. Even if she was there, she’s gonna freak out. At best, it robs her of some very important emotions, that she needs to feel. She WANTS to feel like she’s in control and didn’t have to expose herself first. But she NEEDS to feel like she won over the bad boy. This difference between what she wants and what she needs is very important for setting frame in the future of the ltr. In any relationship, there will be a power dynamic. The one who exposes themselves first is always less powerful. For frame and sexual urges, she NEEDS to think she’s always trying to capture you.

She kept saying she wanted me to say it first to other people around me. I just kept silent and leaned back relaxed. She figured out it wasn’t happening. The following all happened in about 15 seconds.

Next morning, she says, “I love you.”

I didn’t say it back immediately. I didn’t reject her. I didn’t ignore her. But I showed her I just wasn’t convinced that she did. I told her to say it again. MAJOR anti blue pill move and social taboo. She became frustrated but was able to see I wasn’t just going to give it up easy. She had just opened up and knew I was happy with her, but she had to show vulnerability again to get her win. She wanted it bad enough, so she said it again. I repeated, and made her say it again. I made it clear, that she would always have to be the vulnerable one. So she said it, a little more frustrated. Then I said “I love you” back.

Giving her this swing of emotion, very little control, and forcing lots of vulnerability was critical for setting the tone. Frame hasn’t been an issue.

Always default to acting like an asshole. It will give you a buffer zone when you have a beta day or fail some shit tests here and there.

Peruaan · 2019-01-28T15:46:36+00:00

LTR are about intimacy. Sure key concept from TRP needs to be applied, but you are not going to get true intimacy from fucking thots all around. That is fine.

If you have yourself established I.e. have your shit together, are developing and rising your SMV and have feelings for this chick - don’t run away from them.

You do have to screen for them first. Don’t get caught in oneitis , test her first. See if she is actually putting in effort. See if she is flirting or not with others. How does she handle rejection? How does she handle you when you’re being a pain in the ass. How are her friends? Does she have a good father figure? How was her childhood?

If you have this all figured out, then you can choose to develop and build this LTR

Just remember that a LTR is merely a reflection of you.

effyouasshole · 2019-01-28T16:32:07+00:00

Women start in plate status. If they're fun and show green flags, you promote them to FWB status. This can happen at the one-month mark or so. Then you continue enjoying their company for 12+ months, while paying close attention to what they do, along with what their words imply. If you only see green flags in this time period, and no red flags (important), and if you want a girlfriend, then you promote her to LTR status.

The process happens organically. You do not specifically look for a relationship. If you feel like you "need" a relationship, then you've got problems with frame and/or a lack of proper mission. Relationships may (or may not) grow organically from you following your mission and gaming women for fun on the side.

At no point do you "confess" your undying love for all of eternity to her. You simply inform her of the new rules in place, whatever they may be (that's up to you).

modimian · 2019-01-28T15:29:22+00:00

LTRs are bullshit . It was meant to be a test drive for marriage but that concept is dead . People date for fun nowadays nothing serious . A man with little dating experience on dating pushing for a relationship is a desperate man . However there are some men that legit have been tired of dating and dating random thots their whole lives . If you are on of them you can lead the relationship whenever you want to including an LTR . Just state your intention . However there is a fine line between a male trying to lock down a woman for reliable sex and an experienced man with option trying to settle for a while .

Gobraves44 · 2019-01-28T16:01:46+00:00

Vet a plate that has earned LTR status. N-count, treats you like a leader, makes you happy. Look for green flags. You should let her earn LTR status rather than just dating in the conventional sense.

SeasonedRP · 2019-01-28T15:45:28+00:00

Where in the world did you get the idea that it is the norm for a male to initiate some "confession?" I've never heard of such a thing. It's a good way to avoid keeping a girl around because it will kill attraction. Yes, there are desperate pathetic betas who pour their hearts out to every girl they meet and beg them, unsuccessfully, to be in a relationship, but that's hardly something RP advises, much less some sort of RP norm. Girls make fun of men like that. It's not something for you to aspire to.

RedSkeller · 2019-01-28T16:37:34+00:00

Having an LTR is surrendering everything that makes you attractive as a male, it takes your freedom and attention and puts it on the line for...? Consistent sex? We all know marriage is a bad deal and might as well be dead and buried by now, so by association LTRs are obsolete in my mind. At the very least, make her earn it, you should be vetting for well over a month, especially if you are seeing her 1 or 2 times a week max. Otherwise you're still in the honeymoon phase where everything is spectacular but it's not real. It's more about keeping the illusion and staying attractive than actually having plates (because honestly, I'd rather have one good pussy than 3 crazy ones), so let her bring it up at least. There is no amount of time that works or doesn't but the second you commit you do lose some ground. I've seen guys master the push/pull of relationships but there is an inherent blue tinge about all of it, and frankly, I don't see the point.

entrep4 · 2019-01-28T23:24:29+00:00

I don't understand what you're saying about confessing. You just keep meeting her and at some point she initiates the talk asking "what are we?". If you want an LTR then tell her we're pretty much BF and GF so may as well make it official?

Title	How did you get into your ltr?
Author	realf6479
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	January 28, 2019 3:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/akocrp/how_did_you_get_into_your_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-did-you-get-into-your-ltr.210333 https://theredarchive.com/post/210333

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