How do I be alpha without being an asshole?

_thechinaman_ · 2019-03-29T23:44:02+00:00

Your definition of an "asshole" probably is the feminist conception of toxic masculinity which is a product of your blue pill socialization whatever you want to call it. Toxic masculinity is not a concept the red pill recognizes as valid. Be more specific with your terms.

UnbreakableFrame · 2019-03-30T00:14:47+00:00

This is not a bad question at all. It's something I struggled with for awhile. The answer is also not simple.

"Alpha" is a term that gets conflated with a lot of things, so I'll try to simplify that a little bit first. The purpose of being an alpha is ultimately to get the things you want and not have people manipulate you for their own gain. You never have to be an "asshole", to get these results, you just have to be willing to, and know how to, put yourself first. Often times, we unknowingly do this anyways, just in a beta manner.

Here's a handful of super quick examples to get the point across.

First 2 negative examples (meaning you are negating something you don't want).

A sales person starts talking to you about a "rewards" program at the register of some random department store. The beta guy listens to the whole pitch and then says something to the effect of "I can't today, I'm in a hurry". The alpha guy hears the salesman start the pitch and abruptly says "I'm not interested". It's easy to say that the alpha guy is being rude, but I think it's more rude and presumptuous for companies to ask you all of your personal information just because you wanted to buy a notebook and some pencils. Net result, you save time and don't open yourself up to having to potentially deal with more objections from the sales rep: "oh, don't worry, it only takes a moment!".
Your boss asks you to work late. Beta guy, desperately trying to pull an excuse out of thin air, "I would, but I don't want to hit overtime again..." or "I have to watch my girlfriend's dog tonight." Both of these open the beta guy up to objections. "Don't worry about the overtime, I can approve it for this." or "I know of a great dog-watching service and the company will cover it for tonight.". Alpha guy: "No. I don't want to stay late tonight.". The latter might be a more intimidating feat for a career beta, but the net result is that you establish boundaries. If you feel that not walking on eggshells jeopardizes your career, you should be looking for work elsewhere anyways.

Here's a classic positive example.

You see a girl you like at the bar. Beta guy walks up and says something to try and make himself stand out. He has a canned one-liner he thought up prior to approaching. Everything he does is a subtle attempt to qualify himself to the girl he approached. An alpha walks up and attempts to qualify the girl. He knows that he's already qualified for her time, opening for him is just a tool to ensure that she's the type of girl he is interested in closing. Closing has a casual laziness to it. There's no tension in his mind and no concern for the outcome. She probably will give him a number, but if she doesn't, he'll be fine.

I realize that this doesn't directly answer your question. I think the point is to have a clear understanding of the difference between how an alpha and a beta carry themselves. Betas live in untruth and covert behaviors. Alphas are absolutely clear in what they want. That doesn't mean you walk up to women and say "I want to fxxx you". You still have to have tact and be interesting. It just means that you don't squirm under awkward pretense and suffer for no reason other than being afraid of stating the truth.

48fret · 2019-03-29T23:46:16+00:00

It's about calmness, controlled strength, confidence. It's not shouting or showing off.

The very best description of this I ever found was in the song of Mulan: "tranquil as a forest, but on fire within". Great movie btw

throwawa6ksjdbendkfo · 2019-03-30T02:50:54+00:00

Someone hasnt read the sidebar....i used to be where you were. And id get pissed when some self rightous prick would comment "read the sidebar" but they were right...you gotta out in the work. Or dont lmao idk ahaha....more for me. Tbh Idc what you do. But id say read the rational male and then if you have this question read it again but slower. If its still not clear Then audiobook it while reading it also. Just do it.

capodonca · 2019-03-30T04:45:01+00:00

Focus on your mission.

nross368 · 2019-03-30T07:46:30+00:00

Go into the gayest part of town (not your bedroom) and go up to the biggest guy and suck his dick. Or ya know not care about being an asshole....

Title	How do I be alpha without being an asshole?
Author	magneticmaxx
Upvotes	2
Comments	13
Date	March 29, 2019 11:38 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b74dw5/how_do_i_be_alpha_without_being_an_asshole/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-be-alpha-without-being-an-asshole.223699 https://theredarchive.com/post/223699

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