This post helped me realize the different parts of myself.

You fail to see there are multiple sides of yourself within. Sides that sometimes take over and win. The sides of that we do not trust, the sides of us that we do not understand, and the sides of us that we fear.

After a week of self analysis I've realized I particularly have 2 strong sides of myself:

  • The me that is willing take on the world and knows he's going to win. Discipline is no problem for him. Waking up by 5 every morning and killing it the whole day is simple for him. He knows his goals and doesn't hesitate to strive for them.

  • The me that just doesn't see the point in things the other me usually does. Why would I wake up by 5 am after going to sleep by midnight? Just sleep in till 8am. Today leg day at the gym? No need to go, leg day is optional. Make decisions? I'm not knowledgeable to make decisions about your life. Win the day? No, I just need to do the bare minimum and survive.

I don't know what triggers the switch in my mindset/mood. I don't know when the sad/what's the point part of me creeps in until it has taken over my mind.The only thing I do know is that listening to songs like "Till I collapse", "All I do is win", and other empowering songs tend to shift me to more of my positive mindset.

If my explanations aren't clear enough I hope this helps: Some days I feel like the main character of a movie at the beginning where everything in their life sucks. I feel nihilistic. Other days I feel like the main character at the end of the movie after he's done everything and everything in his life is going right as if he can do no wrong. Nothing nor anything will stop me from doing what I want/need.

Any suggestions on how to get better control of this issue?