How do I date without drinking?

gg_s · 2013-12-19T02:34:24+00:00

Women want to drink.

So what? You don't. Next her if she presses the issue.

I'm 29 and I don't drink. I still go to bars "for drinks" and I get water or juice. People who aren't alcoholics find it unusual at first but generally accept it and offer affirmations: "Good for you, man." "I wish I could do that."

Alcohol dependency is a huge turn-off for me. People who need to drink to have fun aren't my crowd. Therefore the women I meet through my social circle drink very infrequently (holidays and special occasions only). These women tend to be of higher quality than the bar patrons downtown. My dating preference is quality over quantity, so it works out nicely for me.

I don't have to explain my decision to not drink. If a woman wants to drink, she can drink. If she feels weird being the only one drinking, that's her problem. I've made my decision.

Ricky_Spanissh · 2013-12-19T03:27:08+00:00

Shortcut for a date tomorrow - "I don't drink, anymore.." if you see what i mean. Dark past and all.

But in general - srsly? You want to be a player and not drink? Just find yourself a nice girl or three and enjoy "ltr game"

[deleted] · 2013-12-19T18:53:14+00:00

Sometimes I abstain from drinking, if they ask I pat my gut and say that I'm working on my abs, then they usually ask to see them.

[deleted] · 2013-12-19T05:01:24+00:00

I would offer an alternative without making a big deal of it.

"You want to go to a bar for drinks?"

"I'd rather not. Let's go chat over some frozen yogurt instead."

If she presses it you can either explain as much as you're comfortable with or just say you don't talk about it.

FG_SF · 2013-12-19T02:32:25+00:00

Why never?

2FAM0US · 2013-12-19T02:56:57+00:00

It's your life. You are inviting her into your life, not the other way around. The dates are whatever YOU want to do. If she is asking "can we _" or "how about we _" that's fine to consider, but as another poster said if she presses the issue call her out on it. Stay true to yourself, she should appreciate that. Any girl who drinks a lot isn't LTR material anyway.

synaesthetic · 2013-12-19T06:05:22+00:00

Just get soda or juice if you find yourself hanging out somewhere where everyone is drinking alcohol. That way you at least are holding a drink.

[deleted] · 2013-12-19T06:12:46+00:00

It's not really something to be embarrassed about, tbh if alcohol wasn't such an aphrodisiac for women I wouldn't drink either.

Most women are so accustomed to using alcohol as an tool for getting laid that they don't even realize that they could just not drink and still have fun on dates, but a non-alcoholic date essentially causes a girl to cock-block herself because she views the world through her present emotional state.

Example thought she'll have:

"Hmmm, this date is kind of boring, I remember that time I went out with Jack and we had so much fun drinking and fucking all night."

She will remember those highs that she had with "Jack" or whoever, and those highs will always be comparatively "higher" than her normal day to day feeling. Making her subsequently feel inside as if she doesn't have a connection with you because you havent been able to bring her to that same emotional state that Jack did (with the help of Captain Morgan of course).

But she will never come full circle to identify what it was that made everything so much fun: that she was able to let go of her inhibitions and give into her desires because she was drunk.

It's kind of sad when you realize that females will simply fail at logic this simple.

Tbh though, you can go on dates without alcohol, the length of time it takes you close those dates will likely increase on average by a noticable amount, and there will be a subset of women that simply will be more difficult due their own inability to understand themselves. If you have a high natural energy / vibe then you'll be able to overcome some of this to an extent, but it will not carry over into all situations.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2013-12-19T22:15:35+00:00

I don't drink AT ALL either. Usually, what works for me is when I go to a bar with friends, if I suspect they feel weird about me drinking I just come right out and tell them "Look, seriously, 100% it does not bother me for you to be drinking while I just stick to Diet Coke. Just enjoy yourself and have a good time. I happen to have a better time this way. To each their own, you know? And hey if you feel like you have had a little too much, you can absolutely count on me for a ride home".

I don't mean necessarily with women, either. With anybody. I don't drink, but sometimes I like to go out and socialize. I'm an automatic, 100% dependable, default designated driver.

EDIT: Oh, I see some of us non-drinkers are explaining why we don't drink. Well, I dislike the loss of control alcohol gives me; I want to know for sure that I'm on top of things and making good decisions. I used to drink a lot, and lost a lot of valuable friendships because of it, and always felt this vague sense of shame about it. Once I stopped drinking, a lot of good things fell into place for me, and I'd rather not fuck that up by seeing if I can reform myself into one of those people who just has two beers and goes home. I'm not even sure I'm interested in two beers. Maybe interested in 15 beers. But two? Why bother?

fuckingkike · 2013-12-19T02:58:46+00:00

I don't drink, either. Hell, I don't even eat dairy or wheat so as to avoid the trace opioids. I've never had to go much further than "because I don't want to. Are you going to be weird about this?" to explain myself. However, social drug use is the rule most places. If you don't want to deal with it directly, you can offer a more appealing alternative when someone says "Let's get drinks." like "No. I'm hungry. Let's get food." Or you can go and order a coke, a tonic and lime, or an Arnold Palmer. Or order booze and don't drink it. Of course, if you as a non-drinker ever get to the point of ordering a drink and not drinking it, you ought to question the direction your life is headed.

Reddit_SLC · 2013-12-20T06:07:52+00:00

Suggest an alternative. Coffee instead of going to a bar. Almost the same environment.

2013-12-19T18:43:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MoneyMonger · 2013-12-23T09:38:41+00:00

'I'm drunk on life' corny but works if pressed for more info I would say that my best friend was an alcoholic who died in a drink driving accident and I pay homage to this by not drinking, and since this happened I have found my life has improved enormously which made me realise life is better without it. Soda water + lime is delicious in a pint glass is delicious too.

Title	How do I date without drinking?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	31
Date	December 19, 2013 2:00 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1t7rip/how_do_i_date_without_drinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-date-without-drinking.138619 https://theredarchive.com/post/138619

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