How do i stop getting anxiety attacks when GF goes out clubbing?

RedditAdminsSuck_88 · 2017-02-22T22:56:59+00:00

End it.

Any woman who truly respect you would not go out to a club without you.

Do you even know the reason why women go to clubs? It's not to hang out with her girlfriends. She can do that shit at home or at a restaurant or something.

What you have is oneitis, and she doesn't respect you. If she goes out to clubs minus you it makes me wonder what else she does to walk all over you

abdada · 2017-02-22T22:57:55+00:00

I never had a GF who goes out drinking. Ever.

I had low status booty call only plates who did.

Red-455 · 2017-02-22T23:10:23+00:00

Usually your gut is right about these things but that's not near what's most important for you right now.

You have EXTREME oneitis and lack of abundance mentality. Seriously, I may be wasting my time because you sound pretty deep into it but break up with her right now and read the sidebar. Read it all and don't stop.

I'm not even going to get into "AWALT" right now because you're the fucking problem, don't even think about her. Your problem is much bigger than just one woman going clubbing.

You'll probably ignore all the great advice your going to get in this thread and keep going out with her anyway, only to come crawling back after she breaks up with you and cheats on you. Prove me wrong.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-02-23T04:36:48+00:00

My first ever ever relationship.

And perhaps your first ever one-itis.

When she goes out with friends at night clubbing

Why is she out clubbing without you?

I keep having bad thoughts and if she is being faithfull.

"When there is doubt, there is no doubt."

-From "The Sayings of Chairman Zatizev"

What to do please help me guys.

Demote to plate. GFTOW.

raisins3142 · 2017-02-22T23:55:23+00:00

Because you know what goes on at night clubs. At the bare minimum, she is flirting and dancing with other guys. Do you know how women dance now? If she isn't getting at least buzzed and flirting with guys and grinding their dicks on the dance floor, then why would she be there. That's what young women do at clubs.

So, if you aren't down with this, then the easiest thing is to not date a girl that goes out without you and drinks alcohol at places where people go to pick each other up. Girls that don't do these things actually exist.

darknes66 · 2017-02-23T05:31:24+00:00

She's only your gf when you're with her. Every other night she's as single as a one dollar bill. Start meeting other women immediately. Next time she goes "clubbing" (aka looking for other guys to fuck) you'd better have at least a couple other chicks to call. It's only a matter of time before she either dumps you, gets caught fucking someone else or both. When that happens you'll realize why you should have read the sidebar before making this thread

oldredder · 2017-02-23T08:22:42+00:00

Get more girlfriends.

A girlfriend out clubbing is gonna be grabbed by dozens of guys and probably make out with at least 5.

There's like a 2% chance she's faithful.

[deleted] · 2017-02-22T23:50:20+00:00

Your gut is telling you something that you're going to find out sooner than later. Listen to what the other five guys have said before me.

ManOfGrapes · 2017-02-23T00:02:36+00:00

Why are you exclusive with a club slut?

BluntMFer · 2017-02-23T05:53:23+00:00

Dump her

ddiogenesofsinope · 2017-02-23T08:34:33+00:00

Not sure about the other mate guarding comments here but let me offer a bit more nuanced position

Dumping her because she goes out drinking I think is way too harsh and kind of defeats the purpose of trying to not put her on a pedestal. If you have to drop her because she liked to club, how much value are you bringing to the relationship?

I wouldn't tell her how you feel because that would give the frame to her, but I'd tell a guy friend with experience or find another way to deal with it. Maybe if when she goes out, you go out to have fun yourself. Give what you're feeling to her. If you bring enough value to the relationship, she will get a bit needy with you going out too.

quicklogaccount · 2017-02-23T12:51:29+00:00

I'll be really rational about this.

Your gut isn't always right. Your brain hacks itself to make you do the right thing, which in your case is breaking up, obviously. Anxiety and angst are the tools your brain has to put you to motion.
Now, that alone is enough of a reason to break up, get some abundance, go fuck ten other women. It's cool to be a little selfish, she is being selfish man.
Trust me, and everyone else on this one: If you put just a little bit of effort you'll be CERTAINLY banging a new chick a month.

Now, you have legitimate reasons to break up. Your girlfriend is being incredibly disrespectful towards you, she's putting herself in a position where men make sexual advances on her, she's doing it out of sheer fun, and she's using your scarcity to force you into complying. This is shit in itself, you don't need to wait until she "finally" cheats or obsess about it.
- Don't fool yourself, her behavior is harming you objectively;
- Don't fool yourself, once she meets a man she really cares about she'll forget about her friends, there will be no clubbing, she'll be annoyingly clingy and do anything. You're not this guy for her.

What to do please help me guys.

Thank god you're a man. You can build abundance by getting attention from nearly any woman, they don't have to be hotter than your girlfriend. Here's what to do.

This is what you'll do NOW:

If you don't work out, you'll start today, you'll put effort on looking better;
You'll make a habit of keeping your beard and hair always in order;
If you dress like shit, you'll fix it;
If you haven't already, you'll read material on pick up artistry and you'll start to flirt with girls around you within "plausible deniability" zone.

You'll start all that at once. It won't take you two days to get started, and it'll only take that long if you have to read a book and go shopping.
Once you do that, your anxiety will dwindle. It'll probably be gone in two weeks but the mere decision of acting will ease it enough for you to sleep at night while she's clubbing.
In no time, I'm talking about a month, you'll be more confident. What usually happens is, your girlfriend will become more caring about your relationship and put a LOT more of effort into it. Unfortunately, over the course of this time you'll most certainly learn that you're not in your relationship because you have "good" feelings, but because you're too insecure to leave, and that will have changed. Then, you'll break up. And you'll carry guilt over it because "she was finally trying but you didn't love her anymore". Don't feel guilty, her behavior already destroyed the relationship, even now.

Well, that, or you can take a leap of faith, break up now and enact the changes on the same timeline. It'll be healthier for her, but it'll be harder for you.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-02-23T14:23:05+00:00

That anxiety is your instincts, assuming you aren't mentally insecure to the point of absurdity (which you probably are, but still) Theres a reason. Girls make themselves available, this is how they game, guys actually run game.

This is the equvalent of you running PUA on the weekends while your girl stays at home, perhaps you should

On a more practical level, why the fuck are you with someone that gives you reason to panic? Dump her ass, and stop being scared you'll die alone. we all die alone

batfish55 · 2017-02-23T14:49:20+00:00

That's fuckin hilarious.

If she isn't cheating on you, she's close. She's at least making out with dudes and grinding her ass on their cocks in those clubs.

I went with a buddy to a bachelor party in New Orleans. He was in costume. It was obvious what was up. the DJ turned up the lights, turned down the music, and sic'd all the women in the club on him. Every single one was married. Telling him how much he's going to loooove being married. While grinding their asses all over him. And those bitches were married. Yours isn't even morally obligated to be faithful. AWALT.

Next.

Oh, and the other posters are right. Read the sidebar.

Your_Coke_Dealer · 2017-02-24T00:31:46+00:00

Remove GF. Presto, no more anxiety.

uwotm891 · 2017-02-26T20:20:28+00:00

That has nothing to do with what I said. If she has a problem with me going out with my boys then she's free to leave. However, I skimmed over the part in which you said it's a problem if it's more than once every couple of months. Which I'd actually say it's a problem if it's more than a few times a year. Obviously op is insecure, but it's not insecure to have personal boundaries in which you hold your ltr to in exchange for commitment.

Title	How do i stop getting anxiety attacks when GF goes out clubbing?
Author	batmanannana
Upvotes	7
Comments	31
Date	February 22, 2017 10:53 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5vm29c/how_do_i_stop_getting_anxiety_attacks_when_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-getting-anxiety-attacks-when-gf-goes.83065 https://theredarchive.com/post/83065

Comments