How do you get over being sheltered?

third-eye-brown · 2014-05-27T00:27:35+00:00

Practice. Try to party a lot in college, meet a lot of people, practice practice practice remembering ALL names, and be active socially. It's a skill, you will learn it. I was extremely socially awkward and after working at it for years, I'm confident meeting and chatting with pretty much anyone.

Don't prematurely judge people, it can be easy to be turned off by people you don't agree with. Ignore that and realize that every single person out there has something you can learn from.

Lots of drugs and alcohol helped me a lot by removing anxiousness and providing many commonalities with folks and opportunities to meet people but I can't recommend you follow that path since I came out of it alright and that's only what worked for me. However I've met the absolute best friends of my life through drugs and music.

UrNameIsToby · 2014-05-27T01:55:07+00:00

Socialize a lot. You might do it a little, make some ok friends, then stop because you're comfortable. Don't do that. Make at least one new friend a week that you go hang out with or do something. Make sure lots of these friends are women. If you wind up sleeping with some of them, great, but don't talk to them just to try to date. You need to first learn how to be comfortable and socialize a fuck ton. Make a point to try having a conversation with a new stranger every day.

You're going to suck at it at first. Maybe 1 in 10 attempts will go well. Oh well. We all have to start at the bottom. Keep trying. Just keep in mind, you have about 1000 bad interactions to get through before you're somewhat good at it. If you want to take 10 years to get through that 1000, or 1 month, it's up to you. Personally, I'd prefer to get through the sucky stage quickly instead of letting it drag on forever.

thepillwastaken · 2014-05-27T02:29:00+00:00

A lot of this advice is good but common.

The thing about being sheltered is you will feel anxiety to try new things. That means you are going to make excuses internally about girls that will manifest themselves as anxiety. Examples - what if I catch something, what would my friends think of her, her place is not as clean as mine, she is cute but not hot enough...etc.

It is a defense mode that you will go into and it keeps you from closing. So what you need to do is just go for girls at first that are cute but not the hottest girls in the world. You need to learn how to not asses the girl as a GF and or LTR and learn how to seduce them and deliver in bed once you do.

Basically you need to take some baby steps as Rome was not built in a day. The first step is to not listen to the inner voices that are holding you back and keeping you in a safety net.

RPthrowaway123 · 2014-05-27T03:10:32+00:00

I was really sheltered too. Don't be afraid to try new stuff, or do stuff that seems crazy. What I mean is, your brain will resist it when people say "hey man come get drunk with us at so-and-so's place!" And you don't know the person. You'll catch yourself coming up with excuses to not break out of the confront zone you have. But don't give in, get out and do things and discover what's out there.

Source: my experience coming from a very sheltered family

-Tyler_Durden- · 2014-05-27T01:26:16+00:00

Here's the stock answers you should have found for yourself:

Lift weights then lift heaver weights. Find a strength weight lifting program and stick with it.
Learn game and approach women every day. The only way to get good at it is to do it. It may take you three years to become good at the approach; don't give up.
Forget about becoming part of management for a company; that's a formula for mediocrity. Did Elon Musk or Marc Cuban go into middle management? If you are as smart as you say, don't waste it.

11411181 · 2014-05-28T09:16:01+00:00

I do have profound social skills, but only once I get to know somebody really well.

Doesn't work like that. Anyone can be "good" at holding a conversation when they have pre-established rapport. Being good socially involves opening and maintaining social relationships when there is nothing existing to lean on.

EDIT:

I smoke weed all the time, in fact smoking made me realize why I always feel awkward; because of me being sheltered.

Yeahhhhhhhhhh, you have bigger issues than being sheltered.

Title	How do you get over being sheltered?
Author	Sheltered123
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	May 27, 2014 12:17 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/26kbai/how_do_you_get_over_being_sheltered/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-get-over-being-sheltered.140002 https://theredarchive.com/post/140002

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