How do you not care?

TrenGod37 · 2017-08-10T17:30:45+00:00

Time, experience, and abundance.

I literally don't care if a woman blows me off. I laugh.

I've programmed myself to almost not even register when rejection happens. Like I've become almost delusional in a sense that all women want me. I know that realistically it's not true but it's been my frame for so long now that when rejection happens my mind doesn't spend a split second focusing on it.

How? I've slept with a lot of women. I put myself out there. I've been rejected way more times than I haven't but I only focus on the good. It wasn't always like that but over time I've trained my brain to be delusionally arrogant when it comes to that.

zboo1h · 2017-08-10T18:36:45+00:00

Be needy little bitch.
Get hurt.
Get hurt some more.
Realize you should only be concerned with your own progress and your own life.
Live life well, excel in your career and make money and friends.
Start rejecting women.

ViperG · 2017-08-10T18:06:10+00:00

You need to become more outcome independent. Sometimes this is hard for younger people who on their first rejection (at middle school or high school) get absolutely crushed when their first crush shoots them down. Feels like the end of the world because you're so young.

I'm 35 now. If and when I get shot down I just laugh it up, it's hilarious. I give zero fucks. I know I'm gonna get shot down and it's fun. But sometimes I don't get shot down, I get laid :). Annnd half the time I never call or talk to them again cause I just dont care... I just repeat the process the next day or next weekend and get laid again by some 22 year old I picked up from the bar or maybe a 30 year old... rinse and repeat. If I find them interesting or I can stand their personality, or they're super fucking hot, i'll make an attempt and reach out and see if I can get laid again and turn them into a plate.

dontbedenied · 2017-08-10T17:33:43+00:00

I think there will always be some women who can make you care. I believe the difference is the more experience you have with rejection, the more you will not care about being rejected, at least by women that you haven't invested in emotionally.

Docbear64 · 2017-08-10T18:10:20+00:00

You realize that life is long ( hopefully) and if you don't get this chick there will be another one down the line . learn fro m your mistakes and get better , regret is a wasted emotion . We're all human though .

Ta9645 · 2017-08-10T17:48:17+00:00

I dont care because everytime I am in minds about a girl. I remember to myself. This has happened before. And always theirs plenty, if not moutnains of fish in the sea.

Basically. You realise you can move on in about a week and meet someone new,so never sweat the small stuff and have fun until the excitment dies.

HamsterShit · 2017-08-10T18:14:07+00:00

Change your values; if you value sex above yourself, you're going to be disappointed. I decided to value my career, my body, and my treating my anxiety above anything else, therefore if a women blows me off, I go back to working on the 3 things above. Put more time into yourself and your values start to change accordingly; women are only secondary.

That's not to say don't try with women - on the contrary, be the best person you can be, but by having things to care about that are in your control, it'll be none sense to cry about being rejected.

[deleted] · 2017-08-10T18:23:01+00:00

The thing is, you don't just not care about everything. You care about things in your life such as your fitness, your job, your finances, your hobbies. But once you start caring about the real things like this, it becomes trivial to care about some dude shit talking you or a girl flaking on you. You realize that because you care about things that actually matter, these trivial things are not even worth caring about.

A trap a lot of guys get in when they come to TRP is that they try to force an IDGAF mentality and try not to care about anything. This will turn you into the same guy who smokes pot in his mom's basement at 40 years old. You have to care. But you stop caring about the little things like how people you don't know/don't care about view you.

PineappleBoss · 2017-08-10T20:03:39+00:00

dont have low levels of testosterone

Phaz30n3 · 2017-08-10T17:12:01+00:00

welcome to the human condition. anyone who says they don't care is in denial. we all care.

GregorioTRP · 2017-08-10T18:16:28+00:00

If you are in sexual drought and a chick blows you off, you're literally in no worse a position than you were before. You're still not getting laid. Your mentality needs to be "Oh well. She's missing out. Next!"

You need to figure out what it is deeper down that bothers you when you get rejected. It's probably the fact that you're putting pussy on a pedestal. You want it so badly you make it one of the chief goals/aims of your life. This can be very frustrating. Trust me, I know this from experience. Set your goals on something else. Pussy isn't the most important thing in your life and if it is, your life sucks, buddy. The way to stop giving a fuck is to expect rejection. When approaching a woman, don't expect her to say yes. You're setting yourself up for disappointment. This seems counter-intuitive (why would I ask out a woman if she's gonna say no?). There are countless posts on the main sub that answer this question. You need to seek rejection. Approach women who you think you would never have any chance ever. Get used to being rejected and you won't be disappointed anymore when it happens because you will have gone through it thousands of times before and it will be no big deal.

With this in mind, keep your focus on improvement. Seek to fix any mistakes for the next time. Try to understand what your weaknesses may have been, strengthen them, and try again. In turn, you will become much more comfortable and confident when approaching.

TL;DR: seek rejection until it's no longer a big deal to you. The more you get rejected, the less you will care when you do get rejected.

ECoast_Man · 2017-08-10T18:32:48+00:00

Think about it like this. I care when it's raining out because I have to wear my rain jacket when I walk to work and I prefer not to. But, I know there is nothing I can do about it because this is just the natural way of things. I care, but I'm not butthurt about it.

Rares5555 · 2017-08-10T19:23:48+00:00

I broke up with an LTR a month ago. Have not went out and actively sought pussy because frankly, unlike most bitches out there, I got more important stuff to focus my energy on than just emptying my balls inside a hole.

That for me is just a cake on a cheat day. And, just like my diet, I know I’m going to get my cake at the end of the day because I deserve it, as I’ve worked hard for it.

And just like with cake, when I want it, I go get it. No hesitations.

Work hard and pick yourself a slice when you’re done. That’s abundance.

Cunt_Robber · 2017-08-10T21:38:16+00:00

You may not hold yourself as highly as you should. Once I realized (and experienced) that Im the prize and that women are just another thing to conquer in this world (whereas this is not the same for women - so in a way, we are above them), I started caring less about women and more about me. It's a beautiful change in mentality when you realize this, in my opinion.

Red-Curious · 2017-08-10T22:50:31+00:00

To "feel abundant" you have to be abundant (at least at first). You have a scarcity mentality. You're not getting enough sex, you don't have enough time, you probably don't have enough money ... as long as you're focusing on what you don't have enough of, you'll never feel abundant.

Boss offers you overtime? "Nah, I'm good. Don't need the extra hours." Maybe you think you do, but learn to budget without it. As soon as you don't need your boss's freebies anymore and you're cool with your budget, go ahead and take those extra hours - not because you don't have enough money, but because you can utilize that extra money in some other way to cultivate abundance in a different area of life.

Like time. Use some of that extra cash to have groceries delivered to your door after you click a few buttons online. Pay someone to clean your house for you. Give the neighbor kid $20 to mow your lawn every couple weeks. Then you'll have not a scarcity of time, but an abundance of it.

An abundance of time lets you read sidebar, lift, develop confidence - go into monk mode. Then, when you come out, you'll finally be able to ask out that girl you've been pining over for the last 3 years - and she'll probably actually talk to you because you've had the time to talk to other girls too, now that you've got an abundance of muscle, abundance of time, abundance of money, abundance of game, etc.

You don't actually have to be rich to start this process. You just have to learn to accept what you're at and realize how blessed you actually are. I hate to pull this card ... but go to some African third world country and go see what actual scarcity is like. You have abundance right now. But culture tells you you don't have enough and you need more. Screw culture. Learn to be content with what you've got and even less - then rework your budget to live on even less - and your mentality will be one of abundance with what you've got, while freeing up cash that will actually lead to the things you want, not the things that placate you (like chipotle or video games or netflix).

chronosthetitan · 2017-08-10T23:25:38+00:00

Not caring comes from not gaining a sense of validation externally.

suxxos · 2017-08-11T00:34:34+00:00

Look, there are hundreds of ways to enjoy your life. Hundreds. Only a few of them require a female companion. Do something you like, have fun. If you find a girlfriend, cool. If you don't, remember that you are still a great, amazing person. That's all.

Herdsengineers · 2017-08-11T03:19:01+00:00

Have a mission that is independent of women. Once they aren't the most important thing in your life, they just don't matter as much. Also, once you realize sex is commonly available commodity, and therefore it's actually pretty cheap, you stop worrying about it as well. Literally the last 6 or 7 women I've dated, if they weren't first date lays, it was by 3rd.

Last thing - gotta be honest, I lost respect for women in general. When you look down on them as a group and realize just how fucked up they all are, they just plain don't matter as much anymore.

oldredder · 2017-08-11T04:28:17+00:00

visually lay out all your emotional triggers like a circuit board. Test each of them.

Erase or nearly-destroy all of the ones that are a problem. use drugs as needed to assist in this process of self-comprehension.

Replace these trigger->outcome paths with better ones where a situation does not ever trigger strong emotion or strongly negative emotion. Chooose new outcomes and train yourself to take the action needed to forge that outcome from the future/plan into the now/reality.

but if I'm living in sexual drought, how can I possibly not care about chicks blowing me off?

You have to know, not pretend that you know, that sex itself is not even the top 10 of what's most important in life. it's just a form of entertainment if you're not trying actively to make babies.

theres_smething · 2017-08-11T04:31:07+00:00

you're caring because you want something from these vaginas...

next time you go out can you have just as much fun talking to some fat bitch(less attractive female) as you can to a hot babe.

if the answer is no you cannot have fun talking to an ugly just as much as talking and interacting with a hot babe, then you're getting hurt by rejection because you want something from them.. they sense this shit they know they have a high SMV vagina... in other words they dont want you to take take take from them but more express and show high SMV turn the table all of a sudden they want want want you...

Mind you i come from a more PUA background (i think its bs and too orchestrated imo) I really like TRP though

Title	How do you not care?
Author	dreamsordesperations
Upvotes	26
Comments	39
Date	August 10, 2017 4:52 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6sum5s/how_do_you_not_care/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-not-care.95630 https://theredarchive.com/post/95630

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