How to handle Depression while working on myself?

Scheme00 · 2018-07-26T06:58:00+00:00

It’s funny to see how people see things differently. He lists that he’s tall. I’m 5’9 and women say I’m too short. He lists he has no social life and is in front of the computer. I’m trying to reduce the “social” life so I can be on my computer to work harder to get ahead in life. The grass is always greener man, just be happy where you’re at. Things can always be much worse, these are first world problems!

Limpwank · 2018-07-26T06:27:13+00:00

“I have skinny bones”

No you don’t

BloodSurgery · 2018-07-26T06:39:57+00:00

Even thought I am younger than you, I been in your position before. "Whats the point of going (in my case) of doing martial arts classes, if I dont feel anything when im there?

What helped me a lot, was socializing there. Making friends whom I ended up caring for, and making me think "if I miss classes today, I wont see X friend/they will miss me, I must go". You end up developing a routine, and the more friends you make there, the more you will like to go to classes. Also, it will help you socializing in general, which it seems you want to do a lot.

Dont punish yourself too hard for your face. Stop thinking "what if I had a better face", "look at that dude, I feel so much envy, why cant I be like him?" or "why keep working on myself? Look at my face!" There is ALWAYS something you can improve about yourself. Clothes, haircut, muscles, personality, hobbies, your talents, whatever you can think of.

And yeah, I can relate to the feeling of "

So I did it. I trained hard and did a Salsa class. I was proud about myself However, as soon as I finished I didn't feel happy/euphoric or anything, I just felt lifeless and depressed. I couldn't muster up the strength to get up and make me some Food and to finish my day for like an hour, I didn't feel anything when dancing. It all felt so pointless and I struggle alot with it. This happens almost every day.

Try thinking of a long term goal, like "getting a girlfriend", "getting laid", "making money", whatever, and then think what you should do make that goal easier. Develop a healthy routine, clear your mind and think "what should I do now? Whats the best ai can do right now?".

This post helped me a lot today also, so it must be useful to you too.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/91ryh6/bouncing_back_from_a_hard_fall_a_brief_note_from?sort=top

Big wall of text, but I really could relate to your feelings buddy, so I had to express myself.

TelemakosTheDane · 2018-07-26T08:23:13+00:00

I realize that you don´t mention it at all, but it sounds like a textbook example of a person with an addiction to online porn. If you use porn at all, cut that shit out, you will fell like shit at first but eventually it will get nothing short of amazing. Look for more information if you spend so much as a minute on porn in your daily life.

Really you should look for information in general, with your redpill lense activated to filter out bluepill based ideoloigcal shit, on whatever gives you pause. Many people have these problems and there are many types of exercises and other tools available for you to gradually grow out of those problems and become a better person. Google the shit out of everything, find information and apply what seems remotely reasonable. Learning to make friends is a skill, we call it social skills. It is not magic, it can be learned, get to looking for info.

There is one last thing I want to tell you, might sound like a point of criticism and a negative thing, but please, really think about it and you will realize that I am right when telling you that it is actually a good thing. You have very little experience with social experiences, you have not yet cultivated an ability to read people well (that takes a long time, many hours spend in the company of other people, not online in chatrooms). You should read up on body language, for starters, to learn about reading people, not just for picking up chicks, but for life in general. You are way too much in your head when you in a social interaction keep thinking that people dislike you because of the way you look, a minority of people are indeed so superficial that they refuse to associate with someone ugly, we have a word for that: ´´cunts´´. People who are truly ugly or fat, or whatever flaw you can think of. tend to develop either truly awesome personalities or really shitty ones. Some choose o to play victim and no one can stand them. The others realize that hey, no one is going to gravitate towards me just because of my looks, better get to work on getting a personality. The good news is that even if you have been in the first camp, you can change to the second one. Just understand that it does not happen overnight.

Hellsteelz · 2018-07-26T11:12:16+00:00

However I struggle to adjust to the group setting, and to be social in general. It always goes something like this: I try to make new friends/hang out with people (get out of my comfort zone), I see that they don't really like/appreciate me and/ or that the girls don't care who I am.

Fuck em. Why would you care about people who dont care about you? Focus on taking the right steps to become more social instead. Also focus on talking with everyone and dont be way obssesed with girls only.

I see a Picture of myself and the flaws in my face (no jaw/chin) and suddenly I feel like my emotions go out of my control. I tell myself that maybe this is the reason why I am not popular or why I cannot make friends easily. I see other guys with normal faces just interacting with people and making friends and it frustrates me. I ask myself why I have been Born like this and why everyone else has a normal face but me.

You do have control to either do plastic surgery or not let it hinder you. Your biggest problem is that you see it as a BIG issue and therefore can't hold frame in social situations. People dont activlely obsess and analyze other peoples facial structure like a plastic surgeon.

Obsessing over stuff that are not important makes you lose focus and drain energy on useless stuff. You're not going to get anything done this way. You need to stop. Set goals and take the correct actions towards fulfilling the goals.

However, as soon as I finished I didn't feel happy/euphoric or anything, I just felt lifeless and depressed. I couldn't muster up the strength to get up and make me some Food and to finish my day for like an hour, I didn't feel anything when dancing. It all felt so pointless and I struggle alot with it. This happens almost every day.

Does anybody now what I can do to help this? Should I start taking medication/therapy?

Guess what dude, it takes practice, repetition, and time to make new habits. You cant give up after a few times. If you do therapy and medication for depression, the same applies. Medication and therapy is not going to make you feel good within days. The medication has side effects and therapy is hard. Depression therapy is basically replacing bad habits with good ones. And remember it takes practice, repetition, and time to make new habits.

Because if I meditate, eat well, go to the gym and socialize and still feel depressed maybe something is wrong with me?

Not necessarily. It could be a chemical imbalance, which is rare. In that case you need to take a blood test and evaluate the results with a doctor just to be sure.

woke_wizard · 2018-07-26T07:24:38+00:00

How long have you been consistently hitting the gym, meditating, eating right, and socializing? These are not an overnight fix. It could take years to notice huge improvements.

donkeydodo · 2018-07-26T07:47:32+00:00

Something you can try is MDMA; I know people here don't advocate drug use, but one effect that MDMA has is that it switches off the barriers of social structure, making you feel comfortable doing shit that your normal biased self would cringe at the thought of. Don't do MDMA too often though, as it might have a negative backlash on your psyche, but once every now and then isn't dangerous for you and it'll help you socially.

Actually, psychedelics overall might help you with your selfpicture, though I suggest you do a lot of reading on these subjects as they are not to be taken lightly. PM me if you want good reading sources

eddoctoronline · 2018-07-26T11:45:57+00:00

If you think you have depression, then you keep yourself busy. So that you can relive your past. Daily Routine Spend time with your friends and share your gossips with you parents. And once you can advise a good doctor for your depression.

voxiqs · 2018-07-26T13:04:46+00:00

Medication should be a last resort

Do you have hobbies and things you actually enjoy?

Keep exercising and lifting, find hobbies, make friends, meditate

Go to a psychology not a psychiatrist first. Don’t go straight to meds, CBT could help

821sleepingbag · 2018-07-26T13:10:05+00:00

Routine(good diet, regular exercise, grooming, socialising) and good decision making should sort your depression out.

Valuevow · 2018-07-26T14:26:21+00:00

Sort in order: Sleep, nutrition/diet, exercise. Properly.

Sleep - Exactly enough. You should be waking before your alarm if you slept enough. You'll need 4-11 hours, with the massive majority being between 7-9. If you need 9 then get 9. When you wake up down a glass of water and get bright sunlight (or use a light therapy lamp) for 45 minutes. Sleep and wake at the same time daily. Also get a large breakfast with lots of protein and fat, no carbs.

If you have trouble, get a sleep study done.

Diet/Nutrition - You need magnesium, zinc and vitamin D3. This ensures you have testosterone building blocks, you'll sleep better and it'll stabilise your circadian rhythm. ZMA supplement and 2000-4000IU D3. D3 when you wake up and ZMA 30 minutes before bed.

I Also recommend a ketogenic diet, or an elimination diet. Essentially you should cut most things out that aren't meat/veg. If you feel better then stick to it, or slowly add one item a week to see if it impacts you mentally. I mention keto because many people are see success treating depression with it anecdotally.

Exercise - Do some cardio. I did C25k to get up to 5km/day 3x/week. Do that and maybe go further if running helps. Keep lifting.

If you get these under control this well, and dont consume porn, alcohol or drugs and you still have a problem then see a therapist.

Also your bones are fine unless you dont get enough calcium. Supplement/diet with that in mind if you want.

TheDisillusionist · 2018-07-26T17:10:25+00:00

Yeah, something is wrong with you. Its called depression. Go to a doc and get on meds if lifestyle changes arent cutting it.

"I see that they don't really like/appreciate me and/ or that the girls don't care who I am."

You dont have a fuckin clue what other people think. Get that through your head now. You have a broken emotional regulation system and your intuition on this cannot be trusted right now.

It's not girls you see or just mets job to care about you. If you are waiting on that to live you'll be waiting a long time.

Your emotions are broken right now and they will always always trick you. Expect that and get help.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-07-26T20:32:49+00:00

22 is young. If really want it you can have it. If u start today by hthe age of 30 you could have it all. Money, girls and looks. Id say dont pay attention to girls next 5 years. Focus on money. Money gives you power and power gives you girls. And all of this complement it with heavy lifting. Go full mgtow for the next 5 years or so.

At 30 you will drown in the sea of pussy.

redhawkes · 2018-07-26T23:00:23+00:00

Read The Psycho Cybernetic by Maxwell Maltz, you have self image problem and if you not address it, you'll get trapped into this vicious circle even more. It operates on the self limiting belief principle, then it becomes self fulfilling prophecy.

Hint, it's not your face, it's your belief that fucks you up into spiraling.

Another thing, hit the gym hard and stop the fuckarounditis.

earthmother92 · 2018-07-26T09:42:12+00:00

See a therapist.

Maybe you have a brain chemistry problem (like I did) and antidepressants will fix that.

Title	How to handle Depression while working on myself?
Author	Valuevow
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	July 26, 2018 6:17 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/91zrxn/how_to_handle_depression_while_working_on_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-handle-depression-while-working-on-myself.103694 https://theredarchive.com/post/103694

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