How to stop assuming loss?

AlfredApple · 2016-06-03T12:31:46+00:00

the smallest "error" in dating can easily become cause for a breakup.
I accept this.

Don't, because it is not true.

You own a PS4, a high value console. The PSN goes down one night, the next day a digital download throws an error and won't launch, then a 14yo kid tells you he fucked your mother over game chat. Do you throw out your PS4? No, you know it's otherwise a decent gaming console and are willing to accept the occasional fuck up because you have invested in it and assume it will give you ongoing satisfaction in the future.

Now if you owned a low value console like the Wii, realised the game line up was shitty and graphics sucked after you bought it and then it had trouble reading a disc you might be inclined to pass it onto a mate.

You need to learn the benefits of being a high value male and how you can do almost anything you like and still have a customer base that comes back for more no matter how often you release broken games.

quicklogaccount · 2016-06-03T12:48:26+00:00

There's a sort of never ending debate about TRP and its lack of emotional fulfillment. Somehow, the official standing is that you can never put down the armor. I like to think you can put down the armor if you know how well you fight and how well your opponent fights.

On a LTR you will feel the urge of being emotionally open. You can keep a light armor (i.e., avoiding opening yourself in aspects where you'll display weakness), or you can go BP-ish and do it (to some level) and pray she stays (i.e., you have found the right one), risking getting as screwed as full BP guys get when they're dumped. You'll still have a far better chance of success when compared to full BP, since you know what the girl seeks anyway.

The point is, invest on a girl and you'll feel the urge. Work through a fuck up, and you'll feel the urge. Just avoid the flaky one that'll leave you because you made her upset once, well, you know the deal. LTR material vs. plate material.

[deleted] · 2016-06-03T14:04:52+00:00

All I have to say on this topic is that female selection for an LTR/multi-LTR is generally a neglected topic on TRP subs.

Darkredsubmarine · 2016-06-03T12:58:50+00:00

From the Upajjhatthana Sutta

Number 4: I must be separated and parted from all that is dear and beloved to me.

It will happen, one way or another.

Accept it, live with it, embrace it, be one with it and be happy with it.

everhere · 2016-06-03T13:31:00+00:00

but this mentality of always being prepared to lose the girl can't be healthy either, right?

I think it is. Part of the mentality is to only rely on yourself and being prepared to lose not just the girl but everything, anything in your life, at any moment. It depends how you look at it but that mind frame seems fairly healthy to me. That is what outcome independence means, right?

verify_account · 2016-06-03T16:29:23+00:00

As adababababa reminding me yesterday, you're getting flaked because you're SMV is not high enough. You're not the best options for these girls, and if you were you could make major fuck ups and they'll stick around.

You can try to never make mistakes with girls, or you can just raise your SMV.

machimus · 2016-06-03T21:02:40+00:00

Note: If it wasn't implied strongly enough, I can go get random pussy from clubs or dating sites without difficulty. It isn't oneitis... if anything it's zeroitis. I assume loss.

Okay, I think I get you now. You might have an issue with your perspective. If you're assuming loss, you're also making a complimentary assumption of where your baseline is. By that I mean, you treat a girl leaving as a loss, instead of a return to baseline. What you need to do is treat a girl as a temporary improvement (?) over the natural state of being happy with yourself without a girl. Your value system seems to indicate you don't feel entirely complete without a girl, whereas if you are self-sufficient there is no disappointment in losing a girl...only a return to your natural contented state.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2016-06-03T15:39:52+00:00

Why do you assume it has anything to do with your own actions at all? It sounds like you deal with frustrations with the knee-jerk response of blaming yourself. Making failure and rejection all about you is a stereotypical feminine/beta trait.

Sounds like you're looking for information that conforms to the script you're using that "I'm a failure." Or, "I won't get what I want because I'm a failure."

This is a real internal frame or internal game problem. If you get frustrated, choose to view yourself as a success in all the ways that actually matter. Then start looking for information that demonstrates that fact. If other people don't treat you with respect or aren't interested, that's their loss, not yours. Such people have zero value to your life and are a waste of your consideration and time.

IIlllIllIIIllIl · 2016-06-04T08:45:15+00:00

Men are the leaders. We hold ourselves to a very high standard, so it is only natural to expect others to live to that same standard as well. But we can't do that, we have to lead by example and guide our women. When they stray within reason, you course correct them. You wouldn't boot a child out of your house for doing something wrong, you simply correct their behaviour.

FrameWalker · 2016-06-03T15:05:29+00:00

I actively push their buttons and say the wrong things. Its a good move because the girls who want to control what you say reveal themselves and get nexted and the girls who are more submissive and into you embrace it.

Say the wrong thing. They probably wont leave.

Im always prepared to walk away when they do or say the wrong thing.

Title	How to stop assuming loss?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	12
Date	June 3, 2016 11:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4mcfbe/how_to_stop_assuming_loss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-stop-assuming-loss.185382 https://theredarchive.com/post/185382

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