I cheated, can you please help?

gg_s · 2018-05-19T05:34:45+00:00

Go forth and sin no more.

11-Eleven-11 · 2018-05-19T08:06:49+00:00

Trp is amoral. You are not and dont have to be.

Lucas_Karmahitme · 2018-05-19T04:02:20+00:00

Act like nothing happened.

fnordsnord · 2018-05-19T05:03:23+00:00

Act like nothing happened.

If she asks or if somebody tells her, deflect and minimize, but don't lie to her face.

"Yeah, we kissed after the song was over, then I danced with someone else."

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-05-19T10:06:33+00:00

Act like nothing happened because...wait for it...nothing happened. You sound like you're in Jr. High, though, so probably shit gets magnified.

Advice for When You Are a Grown-up: Don't agree to exclusivity, but if you do, keep your word. If you cheat anyway, then take that shit to your grave. "Confessing" is just a cop out whereby the cheater transfers the guilt of cheating to their partner. You broke it, you own it.

TRPAndNofapGotMeLaid · 2018-05-19T06:53:43+00:00

It's not cheating if you make sure she doesn't know about it

Birelan · 2018-05-19T09:31:47+00:00

If that went against your morals tell her and suffer the consequences.

cappadocianhawk · 2018-05-19T09:24:22+00:00

If you want to fuck other girls, fuck other girls. You make your own rules, you construct your own morality. Let nobody lecture you, not in your real life, not here.

Gozsayin · 2018-05-19T10:04:50+00:00

Alot of people are saying don't say anything. This maybe for the best but personally I'm not one for hiding my desires from my partners. I would just own it (If she asks). Nothing helps a LTR like a little dread for the lady so they isn't even a bad thing

friendandadvisor · 2018-05-20T00:37:29+00:00

Tell her, send her flowers and candy and jewelry, and let her know how badly you feel and that you love her.

Then, send me her phone number.

SuperCrazy07 · 2018-05-19T06:45:48+00:00

Nothing happened. Don't tell her.

Holy shit, I'm going against everything I did when I was younger to tell you what I wish I had someone told me to do.

SeductionSnake · 2018-05-19T05:35:39+00:00

It depends on age in my opinion. Younger girls tend to get very upset with that kind of stuff if you try to admit and minimize, while older females tend to get competitive. I would act like nothing happened and if uncovered, then try to minimize without looking like a douchebag. I.e. Don’t say “yea and then kissed another one on the way out”. While that does minimize and normalize the cheating, it tends to not work on younger girls.

nofilmynofucky · 2018-05-19T08:03:29+00:00

aaaaaaay congrats

not on the horn doggery, but for feeling bad. that'll fade over time tho

coriollanvs · 2018-05-19T09:10:55+00:00

She don't have to know

Morphs_ · 2018-05-19T10:08:36+00:00

You can decide to use the female hamster technique to rationalize the situation. Be aware that women actually use these lines and statistically there is a very good chance your girl will use one of these lines herself at some point in her life, even though he doesn't realize that yet right now:

"It was just kissing, so it's not cheating"

"Well you have been putting out less lately, so I felt neglected so it's not cheating"

"I was drunk so it's not cheating"

"I was raped so it's not cheating"

"It had no meaning so it's not cheating"

"I wanted to test my feelings for you and those girls didn't change my love for you, so it's not cheating"

I believe that EVERY person can end up in a situation where the feelings of lust will overshadow any love-related feelings of commitment. It's just human nature. This is the reason why it's powerful to be upfront about this when you get into some form of relationship.

Rene-Girard · 2018-05-19T18:37:40+00:00

Can a parent be disobedient to their child? No. Can a man cheat on a woman? No. Being unfaithful is something a woman can do to a man, not the opposite, because guess what? You can't get pregnant.

Fryguy48 · 2018-05-19T14:19:56+00:00

Eh, you just kissed a few girls. Wouldn't worry about it.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-05-19T09:38:26+00:00

I disagree that TRP implies no morality. Your morals are up to you, TRP is just a big theory of relationship and gender dynamics, it has nothing to do with being moral or immoral.

If you want to cheat on your girl it has nothing to do with TRP, you will not get an answer as to whether it's acceptable or not from TRP because it just has nothing to do with it.

This is your cross to bear.

The only thing TRP will tell you is that you should really define your relationship up-front, so nobody is left confused, and how best to deal with the consequences.

Title	I cheated, can you please help?
Author	VikkBlack
Upvotes	4
Comments	27
Date	May 19, 2018 3:54 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8kiug1/i_cheated_can_you_please_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-cheated-can-you-please-help.97602 https://theredarchive.com/post/97602

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