I'm in the military and married to another military member. A little over a year ago, I found MRP and TRP. I devoured both side bars in a month, and decided to start my journey. It was rough at first, but I had it going for me I used to be a lot more alpha, so it was really just a return to my old ways than it was learning a bunch of new tricks. Codifying and giving name to, sure, but it was familiar territory.

I lifted, I got back into kickboxing and into judo for the first time. Went to last year's local NAGA and did alright for my first time at a grappling tournament. I cut from a fatstrong 198 to my current weight of 180. I'm not huge, but I'm cut(calipers say I'm 9%) and I move much better in this weight class. I may cut further to see if I can get faster. I updated my wardrobe. I had fallen into the trap of t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops. Changed that the fuck out. Dressing like an adult feels great. I applied dread, and learned to say no again, and while gaming while married is a dangerous game in the military (good Ole UCMJ), I have noticed that simply changing subtle interactions with the opposite sex produces a much less bitchy wife. And hotter sex.

I realized this was all a good framework, but I need to work on my core, my inner self. And this is where the problems began to arise. I started growing in my maturity with how I dealt with things, and this has made my wife very uncomfortable. She has said things like "I feel like you're growing and leaving me behind."

I expected the initial resistance. But that was about 8 months ago, and it's gotten to the point where she blames me for her lack of personal growth. She has stated that openly. The more I consider this situation, the more I realize several things.

I don't have kids. I don't want kids with this woman. She is truly just like my mother, and I don't want an influence like that in my kids' lives if and when I have some

I'm still pretty young. 23. She's my age plus a few months. We've been married two years.

When I first thought about divorce, I pushed the thought aside, believing it to be the easy way out. Lurking here I saw guys ask for the easy way out all the time during their journey, I didn't want to be like that. But then, a few weeks ago, she openly stated (this is verbatim): "You're the reason I can't change. You're changing too fast and it's holding me back."

It pointed to me a core character trait of her blaming everyone aside from herself for her own problems, of her running from conflict. It disturbed me. It made me realize I don't want her raising my children. Right now I'm on the last month of a short TDY. I'll be home in a few weeks, and she will be deploying for 6 months in October. I haven't started divorce proceedings yet because that would screw her out of her deployment. That being said. I need to know how to prepare for this divorce, I need to know what to do so I don't get legally fucked. Any advice from people who have gone through this or something similar would be appreciated greatly.

Info on the situation. We are both E4s, both of us have approx 20 grand in separate savings account. We have a single joint account but it's only to make pooling money for rent and such easier. The rest of my accounts are not related to hers in any way. Both of us have a general power of attorney for each other, currently. Our assets are pretty minimal. We have a single car that I pay the insurance for. Worth about 8 grand give or take. We live in an apartment off base. Both of us are in very good standing with our command.

What do I need to do to minimise the financial damage to myself?