Late Night Realization about LTR

Borsao66 · 2016-10-25T09:35:44+00:00

"If there's a doubt, there is no doubt." - Sam in Ronin

TheCello · 2016-10-25T11:40:52+00:00

If i had a dollar for every girl that told me " i don't usually do that.." / " i'm not a slut" ..

TheStumblingWolf · 2016-10-25T11:00:45+00:00

what if i've wasted 8 months in this LTR

This is why you have your own vision and direction to chase especially within an LTR. Never make a woman the focus of your life. You got a very valuable lesson that took 8 months. Have respect for that.

To be worried about her shitty choices is to still have her on the pedestal. Create your boundaries; like cheating. Every woman is like this. She won't tell you the N count. She won't tell you if she got railed in the bathroom stall at that one night club. You'll know by her behavior.

Am i resisting the red pill?

You are becoming wiser. So what's your direction in life aside from pussy? That's what you should really be chasing.

HookersAndBlow4ME · 2016-10-25T11:01:23+00:00

See "how to manage your bitches" ---->

Demote her today. Go spin plates and apply dread.

fnordsnord · 2016-10-25T21:47:18+00:00

When she was visiting her parents, she ran into some dick.

She may have not cheated, but she ran into a guy she was really attracted to. If her parents still live in her home town, it was very likely a guy who had a very high SMV when she knew him, and now it seems like, at least in theory, he's within her reach.

She has lost attraction for you.

Most guys will tell you to pull the ripcord and bail from this LTR. I'm not sure I'd go that far, but if you want to save this one, you need to break out your best game, starting with the first three levels of dread.

walawalawa · 2016-10-25T11:51:57+00:00

I'm in a similar situation but...it's with a plate. The girl was super keen, texting 10 times a day, chasing me like I was the Beatles, suddenly starts going cool. I apply dread, she comes back...then falls into same distancing.

Finally she blows me off. I ignore her for a week, then see her photo dancing with a guy I know at a party.

I texted her and told her I knew what she was doing and to never contact me again.

Of course..she replies reframing it that I'm accusing her of two timing me because I'm actually cheating on her. Basically...drama.

Main point here...show some balls. Distance yourself, start banging other girls and dump her. You'll be glad you did.

Wondering if things are going to improve ...is Blue Pill.

Understanding she WONT change so you have to make a move is Red Pill.

Platos_slow_brother · 2016-10-25T11:59:09+00:00

Am i resisting the red pill?Why do i feel this way?

Mix of sunk cost fallacy and denial. Keep staring at reality unflinchingly and it gets easier over time.

ColmM36 · 2016-10-25T12:16:49+00:00

My ex cheated on her 3 year ltr with me before we started seeing each other. She told me she never cheated before, that she's not normally like that etc.

I doubt I'm the best guy she ever met while in an ltr. She 100% cheated before me.

Anyway, red flags were there but I ignored them. Result was she cheated on me and left me in such a bad place because I let it happen.

If I were you, I'd either demote her if you can handle your emotions enough not to care if she fucks someone else, or break it off and spin plates. You will be much happier in the long run

[deleted] · 2016-10-25T21:53:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

raisins3142 · 2016-10-25T12:23:31+00:00

I've been in your shoes before.

I felt bad because I knew my LTR could easily betray me at that point, and might be already.

I'd pull away or end it. It is rare for these situations to reverse.

She likely has orbiters and more abundance than you by default of being female. That's why you two view this relationship differently.

lordofthedanc · 2016-10-26T19:22:36+00:00

Update

I know what i want to say but don't know how to word it.Basically (unfiltered): Where do you feel that we are, at this moment in the LTR?How do you feel?I feel that our closeness has dissolved and that you are distracted. Like you're throwing me scraps of attention, when it suits you. I respect you and i both have to develop ourselves, both have to have our own goals and aims. I wouldn't want it any other way. However, if we are together, there are certain things that i feel are required for a relationship. Communication. Intimacy. Sexual chemistry. Doing things together. Learning about each other.

However,i don't feel like we know each other enough. I've made an effort to get to know you, over the past months. Yet, you constantly forget things about me.

We need to work on a good few things. I deserve better than this. If things continue at this rate, i don't see us being together and that's being honest.

Title	Late Night Realization about LTR
Author	lordofthedanc
Upvotes	1
Comments	31
Date	October 25, 2016 9:31 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/59a57o/late_night_realization_about_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/late-night-realization-about-ltr.76592 https://theredarchive.com/post/76592

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