LDR. Break up. Need second opinion.

vandaalen · 2017-05-15T12:50:10+00:00

LDRs do not work. Next and fuck other women.

d4nonymous · 2017-05-15T13:10:50+00:00

You won't find anyone here who will

Comfort you
Tell you an LDR is a good idea

Because neither of those things are good for you right now.

Get out of the relationship. She won't fuck you for a year???? What the actual fuck man. You need to value yourself more.

[deleted] · 2017-05-15T13:16:03+00:00

You sound like u need a job. Khols is hiring

TheInkerman · 2017-05-15T14:26:55+00:00

I know I am a terrible person.

Why? Because you value a closer relationship with greater emotional and physical fulfillment? Because you're (reasonably) concerned you're being used for finances? Because you're now in a relationship you admit you initially didn't want to be in?

You are in a bad, long distance relationship. It's ok to break up. It's ok to say "this isn't what I want, this isn't fulfilling my needs." Yes, it will hurt her, it will probably hurt you to do it, but that's ok. You'll get over it, she'll get over it.

You don't want this. Her response to you not wanting it is fucking irrelevant. Are you seriously going to remain in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship potentially for the rest of your life because you're afraid of hurting her feelings?

MattheWoolhead · 2017-05-15T13:27:45+00:00

This is a plain bluepill post. Read the sidebar, it tells you all you need to know to come to the conclusion you tell the girl what the hell is wrong with her and dump the bitch

vorverk · 2017-05-15T12:56:19+00:00

Is this a troll?

You know exacly what to do.

TheButtslammingGhost · 2017-05-15T13:40:54+00:00

You can't seriously be considering staying? You are supposed to fly out there and not fuck? Bye Felicia!

HardPuns · 2017-05-15T14:09:20+00:00

LDR marrying I feel that this relationship isn't "efficient" for the both of us in terms of money, sex, emotions.

Keep having fun in hell. Remember that you're dying, and you're wasting your life time.

Break up and start having a real life.

Mudmen12 · 2017-05-15T14:31:11+00:00

You know the right call here. You know its done between you two. PLEASE remember she won't be upset the relationship is over, she is upset the life she was going to get from you is over. Focus on the distinction i have made. You were the free ride for her, now thats gone. She now has to work or find a new BB.

quicklogaccount · 2017-05-15T14:51:02+00:00

You should hit the sidebar. You're getting short changed there, you're probably in the worst position EVER for a man.

I know I am a terrible person.

You are not. You have needs and preferences. She has needs and preferences. The ends should meet. They're not meeting.

Should I break up with her?

Yes. ASAP.
Making the ends meet in ordinary relationships is hard enough for experienced man dating regular woman without the long distance. You're an inexperienced guy dating an experienced girl (she's using the heavy weaponry to achieve her goals. most women learn how to do it, whether they fuck around or not). This WILL end catastrophically for you.

Few guys have the awareness you had. You are right, you are being used as a safety net, and the tell was precisely the one you spotted, she wasn't attracted at first. You should never enter a relationship with a girl that wasn't attracted to you. You should be wary about entering relationships with women that ARE crazy attracted to you. lol

Should I remain in this relationship and see what happens next?

NO. You should break up now.
You pointed something that's very worrying. You're afraid to confront her, you are powerless. No matter what makes you like this, violence, tears, or a nagging and whining bitch that can never be glad with you no matter what you do, this can't happen.

Usually that's a sign that you're a pussy and you should work on yourself, and guys usually need to end the relationship to do that to avoid becoming abusive assholes using their partners as clutches. This isn't your case though.

You are dating a manipulative, dominating and emasculating bitch. Here are the tells:

"Emotionally draining", functional relationships are not like that;
"No sex for at least a year", she's working on starving and breaking you to get what she wants (be a housewife, follow her biological imperatives on her own terms);
She knows how to manipulate you using tears and appealing to sympathy, you can't confront her or she cries, things are always the way she wants. (I'll give you an heads up. It won't help making yourself insensitive to her cries. If you do, she'll nag and confront you, cause you to burst in anger, and then she'll cry, you'll feel guilty).

What is the best way to break up with her?

If you care to confirm this, you'll see I tell men to break up in person, it's the decent thing to do. If you lived on the same city I'd tell you to go to her place, have a quick conversation, end it with "now we both need space" and leave. But you don't, meeting her costs you too much and puts you in a very vulnerable position, one she'll use to prevent you from breaking free. So you won't be doing it in person.
Your girlfriend's feelings serve her and her alone, she'll feel GENUINELY and deeply hurt by the break up and she'll express it, BECAUSE it'll allow her to keep you and have MORE power in the relationship.

CALL (not text) her, and have a quick conversation involving a standard excuse. Don't tell her how she hurts you or makes you feel. I'd say "We live too far apart, things aren't working and there isn't a way to fix it, it's too sacrificial. It's better for us both to end it now."
You don't owe her anything, it's not your role to support her afterwards. There's no need to block but do it if she goes emotional on you or demands more explanations.

Any other thoughts?

You're in scarcity and dating an abusive partner (even if she's also hurting, her feelings serve her alone. Always remember this.). This makes it totally ok to cheat. After you break up you'll end up getting back with her unless you find a chick soon (SOON. Maybe you'll have less than a week, you'll miss her really hard).
BEFORE you break up, read about game, see some videos so you gain some confidence. It's serious. You will pick up girls if you learn how.
I'd suggest you to go as far as gaming another girl to the "trigger" point before you break up, but don't pull the trigger or you risk feeling like shit even though you're in the only spot that makes it ok. Game the chick, break up, and pull the trigger.

TheSecondLesson · 2017-05-15T14:55:51+00:00

LDRs are never taken seriously by women. All someone has to do is come along and give her the feels. Presto, you're now an emotional tampon while she bangs another. That's a raw deal, one you don't want a part of. Leave her before she leaves you, or else you'll learn the hard way. Don't say you weren't warned.

PaperStreetVilla · 2017-05-15T15:16:00+00:00

I know I am a terrible person.

who cares?

LordThunderbolt · 2017-05-15T15:28:12+00:00

She doesn't even want to fuck you lol. Dude dump the bitch. She has no respect for u. Dump her via text, delete her number, and hard ghost.

Apexk9 · 2017-05-15T17:56:50+00:00

No sex no relationship.

TxnyMontana · 2017-05-17T01:24:29+00:00

LDR it's not a relationship at all. If you gotta invest youself emotionally in someone who lives far from 10km from your place, it means that you got no one on your city who will bang you.

I know it's hard but it's like that bro. Distance kills everything, it just don't work so, next time don't put effort or investment.

Title	LDR. Break up. Need second opinion.
Author	throwaway213345232
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	May 15, 2017 12:41 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6ba527/ldr_break_up_need_second_opinion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ldr-break-up-need-second-opinion.91139 https://theredarchive.com/post/91139

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