Ive been here for two years. Read everything there was to read. Implemented it all. Had sex with over a dozen women in a year, decided it wasnt for me. Met a girl on the way up during my mission. Was her first everything, was told over and over again how perfect I was, was called daddy and captain always. Was submitted to and told i was loved by her first. Then she started taking accutane and birth control and she went from gagging on my dick and being mine to taking a break and wanting to date a dude 8 years older than her.

My heart is broken, I thought I had found a keeper, I in no way became relaxed or needy or desparate, I was broken up with out of nowhere.

This is what brought me here two years ago. Yet im still heartbroken. Have I not truly internalized this shit? It still blows me away a girl can go from saying I love for the first time, a big milestone, having sex for the first time, and asking me to entertain the thought of marriage and kids. To being heartbroken over the dude 8 years older than her who its not working out with. My chest fuckin hurts, it throbs deep and I hate this feeling but it is all too familiar.

What do I do