Little about me: 28, ex-military, graduating from Ohio State soon with an awesome degree, physically fit, attractive, definitely have some self esteem issues though...even with all the positives going for me I have a hard time considering myself worth people's time every now and again. Take depression meds for stuff that started during my military deployments.

I've been reading TRP for a few weeks, pretty sure I'm currently stuck in a beta mindset even though I'm trying to change. By what I've read here so far, it would seem she's far better at being alpha than I am at this point. I've been making a serious effort to incorporate TRP principles into my life, but it's not been very long. I am trying to embrace having options and I'm working on getting some more women in my life so I don't have to rely on this girl anymore. I'm hurting a lot though and confused.

I've been seeing this girl for 7 months, had my head stuck so far up her ass that I forgot about myself. I woke up recently when I noticed that she wasn't wanting to hang out as often, sex went from daily to like 1-2 times a week, and she's playing on her phone all the damned time. I feel like shit when she doesn't want to hang out, hell I might even be addicted/dependent on her.

So from the very beginning she was clear about wanting an open relationship but I was convinced that if I just stuck it out she would want to be exclusive to me. She encouraged me to see other girls and said she thought it would help the relationship if I slept with other people, but I wasn't having any of it. Having noticed the recent changes I decided to try and embrace it, I'd still like her to be part of my life but what I thought I wanted is obviously impossible and dealing with the mental/emotional stress I've put myself through to get to this point is unsustainable.

Last night I went out to talk to some girls at bars, she text me as I was getting ready and asked what I was doing so I told her. She said she was going out as well and it quickly turned into a game of who could encourage the other to have more fun when they were out. Finally I said, "well have fun, make sure you hit on some hot dudes." This is something I would have never said before when I wanted her to myself, but this time I meant it because I am so TIRED of feeling the way I have been lately(I'm at a very confusing stage of hating the fuck out of her for making me feel bad, but still caring a lot about her). She stopped replying to me after that and I laughed my ass off at the bar, assuming I had unnerved her by my not caring anymore. I felt great for awhile, but it turned out last night the bars were DEAD! Yesterday was the last day of classes for the semester, exams are this week and next, and it was a cold Tuesday. I didn't get a chance to talk to anyone because the handful of girls out were already with a lot of dudes. I lost my good mood and feel like shit today.

So I have a few questions I guess... * When trying to meet people doesn't work out as expected, how do I keep a positive mindset? * How do I approach a mixed crowd of men/women for some conversation without being awkward as shit? (I'll walk up to a table of all women and make some conversation without problem, and more times than not they'll be cool with me joining them at their table, but if there's even one dude I'm convinced all of the women are taken.) * How do I detach myself from this girl so that I can stop feeling sad when she doesn't want to hang out?

I'm trying to develop some hobbies and expand my social circle, but I haven't been at it very long. I assume all of this will improve over time as I'm able to incorporate more of what I've learned here, and during meeting new people, into my life. I guess I just need some advice on how to carry on in the short term.

Thanks guys!