Background -

I've been a lurker for a couple of years. TRP pulled me out of a rut of depression when I was 16.

I was a typical loser virgin - no friends, shit body, gaming as an only hobby.

TRP guided me in the right direction, started lifting daily, reading a book a month, started a side business.

Fast forward a few years; 19 years old I get a job at a software company. Here I met a co worker (24, HB7) and we ended up becoming FWB a month after I Joined.

She was in a relationship (4 year LTR) and left him for me after a few months of fucking. (Red flag, I know)

She proclaimed how much she "loved" me and how "perfect we are for each other", so we started an exclusive LTR.

We'd been together for a year now, we lived together for three months but I had to move back home (my mother is unwell, cancer) and all of a sudden she wants a "one month break".

Her reason is because she said she needs to find her independence, figure out what she's doing with her life, and re assess at the end of the month if we will get back together. She's moved in with two of her best girlfriends. Now she "just wants her space."

She is now acting super cold towards me, almost like we didn't just have a great year long experience together. It's like it means nothing to her.

Our relationship was exciting, we always did things together. However towards the end of the relationship sex slowed down, and she became a lot more disinterested than she used to be.

We still fuck a few times a week after work, but I can't help but feel so empty inside like I lost a partner in crime.

I know this is the beta in me talking, but I long for the companionship that an LTR provides. Sex is great but the deep connection you form is priceless.

I'm not waiting around for her decision on whether or not we continue our relationship at the end of this one month break, because I know it's already over.

I feel like such a bitch because I'm depressed and empty and yet she's so happy doing her own thing on this "independence break".

How does one get over this longing for companionship. How does one come to enjoy being single. I feel as if I've turned into a complete needy bitch but I thought the LTR was going so good.

How do I get over this.