LTR mentioned a guy hitting on her at work?

trippypatagonia1 · 2015-09-02T23:24:59+00:00

I like that response, alot. I had a situation with my girlfriend a while back where we were on a date and she told me that the night before at this party she was at (which I knew about) one of the guys there was trying to fuck her. I responded with a chuckle and this is what I said "Ha, who isn't trying to fuck you?" I kept it light, acted like I didn't care at all, and changed the topic even though it did bother me on the inside because like you, I knew this guy. I kind of view when girls bring something like this up as a shit test. You just have to handle this test and implement dread.

Freddy_Fedora · 2015-09-03T03:35:47+00:00

My girlfriend gets hit on all the time. Sometime blatantly in front of me. She's been approached off the street and guys have asked for her number / to walk her home.

Every single time I do absolutely nothing. I just sit back and continue working / doing whatever I was doing. I don't see the point of "protecting" your gf. Either she's a slut or she isn't. Don't try stop a slut from being a slut.

I seemed to have picked a good one, 18 months later and she's never cheated on me or anything like that.

dr_warlock · 2015-09-03T04:59:56+00:00

The only reason women mention guys hitting on them is 1) Brag plaining ("omg all these guys hit on me, life is sooooo haaaard) or 2) Beta bait

If you get jealous and butthurt, you fail.

abdada · 2015-09-02T22:35:32+00:00

Good response. Internalize the 12 Levels of Dread

born_to_end · 2015-09-03T09:57:26+00:00

You dealt with it well, OP, knowing not to get jealous or pissed off etc. However, you need to take note if she keeps on mentioning this guy.

My ex had a fair few male admirers, mainly beta orbiters who genuinely never concerned me. She wouldn't ever mention those guys anyway. There was a period however when she would constantly tell me that this one guy was texting her and making his intentions clear. I took the exact same approach as you OP and acted like I couldn't care less and laughed it off. And I genuinely didn't, I'd met him and considered him an ugly loser. She'd keep on mentioning it though. She would act as if she was really pissed off with this guys advances, say that he was a loser etc but yet she wouldn't tell him to stop. I just put it down as a shit test and carried on brushing it off. At the time, however, I wasn't so clued up about female behaviour and I thought she wanted me to do something about it. So my eventual response was to give her an ultimatum; tell him to fuck off or I will. At the time, I thought that showed strength and decisiveness on my part. Read on...

One night we're fucking on my living room floor and she calls out this other guys name. Yeah. And I'm ashamed to say that at the time, when it came down to it, I was beta as fuck and didn't want to lose her so I let her get away with it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and believed her when she swore nothing had happened. At the very least she was thinking about it which is just as bad. It makes my blood boil now even years later. But there you go.

Never underestimate how far a girl will go once she starts getting persistent male validation from a confident guy, even if you think he's an ugly fuck. You've no idea how hard this is for me to admit this here but just be aware. My ex for the record had low self-esteem and at the time I was pretty much bluepill (although I'd read enough PUA theory to understand certain concepts). This is just my personal story. Maybe your gf is different. Or maybe AWALT...

dooblegoo · 2015-09-03T07:19:05+00:00

I prefer a stoic response. 'Ok, thanks for telling me'.

It rewards her communication to you by showing her a bit of gratitude, but without giving her much insight into how you feel about it.

Laughing it off may indicate that you don't take it seriously. But another man making advances on your woman is serious and should not be dismissed.

But discussing it in any kind of detail is taking it too seriously. If a woman is going to cheat there is not much you can do about it. A discussion about your feelings is only going to make that more likely.

Honesty and transparency from your woman is a good sign. While you can never be sure she won't cheat on you, her bringing this to your attention makes it less likely*. You can reward this behavior by showing simple gratitude, thereby not disregarding the situation while also not dwelling on it either.

*results not guaranteed

slurmfactory · 2015-09-03T16:06:07+00:00

frame: attractive women get hit on by losers, you date attractive women, are used to it, losers are no competition. someone who would hit on a coworker via work email : idiot, loser etc. You are awesome and not threatened by some random guy. You also get hit on and choose to be with her (for your reasons, as long as she keeps living up to your standards.) There are over 3 billion women in the world so nothing that she could possibly do would ruin you. She will never have that power.

As for him, dont let the perceived disrespect get to you. If you ever see him treat him with minimal attention and respect, and think about him never.

If it really is a "tip of the iceberg" the rest will come to light soon, so dont stress. If more red flags come up or she starts making you uncomfortable its time to re-asses the situation and your relationship.

Furrealyo · 2015-09-03T03:20:45+00:00

Abundance mentality. Well done.

"I wouldn't try to fuck you..I'd fuck you"

redpillcynic · 2015-09-03T11:35:42+00:00

I'd pimp her out. Do you think he'll pay to sleep with you?

RedPillJax · 2015-09-03T11:46:53+00:00

If she's telling you about it, she's either a) trying to incite jealousy by showing her SMV is high to others besides you, or b) You've been running dread game properly and she doesn't want you finding the email and thinking more of it than what it is.

I've had girls tell me about weird texts other guys have sent them, and it's often been one of the two of the above situations. I've had girls try to use it to get my blood up, and I've had submissive girlfriends in the past tell me because they were afraid of losing me and wanted to keep everything in the open.

You can definitely feel mad at this dude for 'disrespecting' you, but don't dwell on it. Like you said, it was light. Guys are going to hit on your girl 24/7 if you're dating a HB8 or above, regardless of if they know you or not. It is your woman's responsibility to be loyal - but it's also your responsibility to keep working on your SMV high enough that branch-swinging isn't any more of a possibility than biology demands it be.

Remember - if she cheats, you always have to look at yourself first. High-value women wouldn't be fucking around behind your back if you were Brad Pitt, so keep your SMV progressively raising and keep responsibility on your own shoulders.

Merwebb · 2015-09-03T14:47:47+00:00

You did very good pal.

Women always have dudes trying to fuck them, and if not, they are leading dudes for validation.

She telling you? Her dread game. You avoided her frame.

Title	LTR mentioned a guy hitting on her at work?
Author	omgimbackagain
Upvotes	23
Comments	37
Date	September 2, 2015 10:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3jf0nk/ltr_mentioned_a_guy_hitting_on_her_at_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-mentioned-a-guy-hitting-on-her-at-work.153321 https://theredarchive.com/post/153321

Comments