LTR wants to go study abroad without me.

TheDreadnought1 · 2017-08-29T04:23:08+00:00

Keep in your mind: she's not yours, never been and never will be. It's just your turn. Enjoy while it lasts.

Just live your life with her like always, enjoy her. If she come with this talk again, just make clear to her that you wouldn't accept a LDR (like the other guy commented, in a subjective and almost apologetic way) and let her make the decision. It's her life. Don't be angry or sad, just set your boundaries and accept what happens next

gg_s · 2017-08-29T05:05:41+00:00

I refuse to be a "controlling boyfriend"

"Controlling boyfriend" is Womanese for "boyfriend who held me accountable for my actions and told me to not do stupid shit but I did it anyway and now he's fucking my roommate ughhhh what an asshole." You have to be that guy or she will walk all over you and you'll both end up miserable.

What I'm saying is you need to set boundaries and enforce them. Obviously her little non-suggestion went well over the line, and her backtrack proves she knew full well, so you have no choice but to fire her or instill some serious dread.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-08-29T06:39:41+00:00

She's not yours, it's just your turn.

If she goes next her and plate her when she gets back. Travel abroad is wonderful for a lot of reasons, but it's unrealistic to expect that she (or you) will remain faithful during that time:

"You can have 'long distance' or you can have a 'relationship'"

-From The Sayings of Chairman Zaitzev

This is why guys should spin multiple plates, so that if one drops off, goes abroad, goes full blown BPD or whatever, then you, as the man, are not in a position where 100% of your pussy supply is walking out the door.

BestSC86 · 2017-08-29T14:18:35+00:00

Really reading this as a somewhat older, experienced dude..it is cringeworthy thinking of the over seriousness which this young dude places on this 4 month old relationship.

What are you dead set on marrying this chick or something? Already picked out the china pattern, the nursery colors and the honeymoon?

It is really cringeworthy that you "feel disgusted", "sign of disrespect", blah, blah, blah because this girl is thinking of an interesting adventure in her life and education. Why are you not out exploring opportunities and new things to enrich your life? What exactly do you expect your girls to do exactly? Put their futures, education and life on complete lockdown to sit around in your apartment and tag along on your weekly nights out to the hookah bar?

This is why older dudes tell young people not to be in LTRs because you both should be damn out exploring the world, studying abroad and meeting new people.

Doesn't mean that you have to remain in a relationship with her but you really should gain some damn perspective on the importance and magnitude of things in life and stop being a butt hurt dweeb because this girl is thinking of ways to improve her life and education. Frankly you should be doing the same thing.

SiulaGrande · 2017-08-29T08:20:19+00:00

correction:

plate wants to go study abroad without me

its college man. youre not supposed to be considering marriage. youre supposed to be living life to the fullest and taking advantage of all of the opportunities in front of you. thats all shes doing. wouldnt you want to go study abroad and bang foreign bitches and see crazy places too? break up with her and start taking advantage of other opportunities

Edgybraaah · 2017-08-29T03:39:27+00:00

Maybe it's just a test. Though If she isn't attracted to you anymore,.maybe she really wants to leave.

On the other hand, if she IS attracted and this isn't a test, next time she brings it up, you do this:

Tell her you understand her completely and support her, since studying abroad is important for her future. But, next, you tell her (acting almost apologetic) you can't promise her you will be faithful while she is abroad, since you are around a lot of girls and have a high sex drive(better if you say this vaguely). Then you tell her you can't expect her to stay faithful either if she's a 1000 miles away, but that you will always stay great friends, and that you want to continue contact. This will send her hamster into overdrive, and break the shit test(if it is one).

Heathcliff-- · 2017-08-29T07:48:18+00:00

Girls have these fairy tale ideas about travelling and "new experiences". They think studying abroad will grant them some movie-style shenanigans and wondrous adventures with new exciting friendships.

What they don't realise is it amounts to awkward hand-waving language barrier problems, a lot of getting lost and spending time on foreign public transport, crippling homesickness and loneliness, and foreign dick to distract her from all that.

They idealise these experiences in their head, like children, AWALT. Once you point these out to her and start making her second guess herself, she might rightfully realise the bullshit and change her mind.

Remember, women change their minds all the time and hold their new position with just as much conviction as their old one.

brinkleybuzz · 2017-08-29T11:54:52+00:00

I can't tell whether to treat this as a shit test, or as a serious sign of disrespect.

Not disrespect. She's experiencing conflicting emotions. She obviously wants you but studying abroad is a once in a lifetime experience. This is a great opportunity for her.

Encourage her to do it. If she doesn't, she'll blame you. Just tell her that you don't do long distance relationships and it's best that both of you "take a break". Then move on.

As a man, you often have to be an emotional rock and do what's right for both of you. Set her free and find some new pussy.

creating_my_life · 2017-08-29T04:08:53+00:00

We've only been exclusive around 4 months

And you're in college. You're reading TRP, but somehow missing the fucking point.

miamishowband · 2017-08-29T03:43:33+00:00

Let her go, next her and plate her when she comes back.

I've done the same as you and I wouldn't expect fidelity, so she shouldn't expect it either. You may or may not choose to tell her that.

MrAnderzon · 2017-08-29T06:30:34+00:00

Plate her so that the times shes comes back home its an easy lay. start looking for someone else. You can't be afraid to break your plates/LTR.

The__Tren__Train · 2017-08-29T07:17:47+00:00

who cares? regardless of whether she goes or not, she's still not yours, it's just your turn.

be prepared to leave at ANY second.

edit: just saw a few other guys say this lol.

chachaChad · 2017-08-29T12:19:20+00:00

Let her go. Wish her luck. Fuck her hard before she goes and move on with your awesome fucking life.

8008bumbs · 2017-08-29T09:21:12+00:00

If she doesn't go she is operating in your frame. Carry on.

Entropy-7 · 2017-08-29T13:16:36+00:00

Take a pause and pick things up where you left off when she gets back (maybe).

pmjones1 · 2017-08-29T03:36:36+00:00

Dude, going abroad is a huge life event for a lot of people in college especially..... not really a big deal. you look like a controlling boyfriend if you tell her she cant go away. if you want break up, a lot of fish out there

Title	LTR wants to go study abroad without me.
Author	thatguy11115
Upvotes	12
Comments	40
Date	August 29, 2017 3:30 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6wontq/ltr_wants_to_go_study_abroad_without_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-wants-to-go-study-abroad-without-me.113314 https://theredarchive.com/post/113314

Comments