I am 45+ and I have been in a LTR for 15 years, 7+ of them "married". Before marriage, my wife did not want intercourse on religious grounds. I am not religious but I accepted it. After marriage, when we eventually tried, we found out that she has primary vaginismus. Over the years she has found every reason under the sun to avoid doing anything about it. "It should happen naturally", "we fight all the time so how do you expect us to be intimate", "marriage is not just about sex", "intercourse is not the most important thing; we have done other things", blah, blah, blah. About 3 years ago I eliminated all (minimal by this time) sexual activity with her but that did not change here behavior. There was also a 2-3 year period earlier where I was snapping at her every utterance. Again, no change in behavior. The issues have been clearly (verbally) laid out from early on so its not like she doesn't know how unhappy I was.

Even more bizarre is the fact that she refused to let her parents know that she married.

Finances are/were never an issue; she is a physician, while I have a good enough position to be better off financially than her. Definitely no "lazy/worthless husband" issues. I have no vices and have never cheated on her.

A couple of months ago, something snapped. I told her I am ending this farce of a marriage. Then I went on the internet, ran into the manosphere, and have swallowed the bitter red pill. I feel like an idiot. All the crazy reasons she has given me fit perfectly with the rationalization hamster. The kinder I was, the worse I made it for myself.

Now my "wife" keeps saying that she loves me, will do anything for me, is trying to address her vaginismus, has told her mother about getting married, etc. She agrees that she has practically destroyed my life but says she wants to stay and make it better. I flatly tell her that she does not love me or she wouldn't have done what she did. My resentment level continues to grow every time she utters "I love you" as I see it as a lie.

The few people who know about it are continuously pressuring me to stay. Ignoring the romantics, the main point the rest have is that since I am on the wrong side of 45, I have no choices left and that I should compromise so I am not alone in later life.

I am sticking to my position. I am not really married, regardless of what a piece of paper may say. She has had far more than enough time to address the issues but chose not to. Why do I want the companionship of a woman who put me through this? I am better off alone.

Thoughts?