This is a cross post but I was told to ask for TRP input.

So before I get into it. My wifes (17 years, I'm 34, Together since high school) said some really hateful things in the past when she was intoxicated. Things so hateful it broke my trust, made me question my sanity/relationship and put me in a position where I dont trust her to drink alcohol unless shes with me.

Now. Here comes the issue. She has a group of "friends". One of these "friends" is getting married and having a bar hopping, stripper club, flirt with guys & stay out all night, out of town get aways.

I tell me wife I'm cool with her going out and even staying overnight - My limit on that is that she agrees not to drink. Given her alcohol past and black-out episodes I'm well within reason to ask this of her. When she drinks , she drinks until shes black out drunk. Almost every time.

Well. The party went from going out to eat and just chilling for a bit to late night Bar Hopping and other things. Clearly, I'm not invited. My job is a take care of the kids for the next few weekends so she can do all this.

Its went from she wont drink to "maybe just a drink or two" too "well, I might say over night but I dont want my so called "friends" to make me choose between pissing off my husband or hanging out with them"

Its went from she will be home on fathers day to give me a break and do something fun to "well, MAYBE I can be home in time, not be hungover and we can do something fun on fathers day"

Shes clearly playing mind games with me over her going out. Not just one night but for 4 days (not consecutive days, Just back to back two weekends). Over friends that never hang out with us and dont want anything to do with us aside from this one wedding.

So heres what is going to happen. Shes going to go out. Shes going to tell me shes going to be home a little after midnight. Great. I wont worry about her, right?

I have the gut feeling that shes going to go out. Promise me all this shit about not drinking, coming home etc, and then call me late at night and do a 180 taking back all the promises she told me. Shes going to call me dog ass drunk (or not call at all) and be like "well, Im just going to stay over". Shes going to fuck up my father days plans. The only possible break Im going to have for the next fucking month.

So what gives. Why the mind games? I've been telling her for the past years that I dont understand why she puts other people before me. I'm her best friend and husband. She should put my feelings before others. Shes argued about my point for the last year until now.

Now shes all "All I care about is your feelings. If your uncomfortable with me staying out drinking all night, then I wont" and "I'm not going to put us into a fight over these other people" etc etc.

So what do I do , how do I react when she breaks multiple agreements/promises that shes made me to? I cant take any more stress or trust issues. If she breaks my trust again - theres no way I'll be able to look past it for a LONG time.

What to do? =-p

tl;dr: Wifes playing mind games with me. She knows where I stand on some issues but is trying to manipulate me. I dont fall for it.

** Just for some updates on this post. I compromised for her and agreed to having a couple beers (dont get blasted, literally, a couple beers), as long as she made it home at the end of the night. I told her to absolutely call me if she needed a ride home. I'd rather make the hour drive than have to worry all night. She called me earlier, shes already drinking..

So whats TRP's approach to this? Am I over reacting? Am I acting like a bitch? How the fuck do I put the man smack down on this shit if she breaks my trust ?