I discovered TRP a few weeks ago and realized that throughout the whole relationship I was an alpha (our relationship reached 8 years), but after 4 months in an internship she came back and broke up with me and I was devastated.

10 days later she came asking me back, I was in a really depressed at the time so I took her back without questions. That was when I started acting like a needy unsecure beta. Our relationship wasn't good at this point but it was in the right path, until her mother got diagnosed with cancer and she started acting like she didn't care for the relationship.

We broke up because I was going on an internship for 5 months and things weren't going well (she said she wasn't sure what she felt about me) .

But after 4 days I got a message saying I lost the internship so now its been 1 month since we broke up and I want her back because I realized that she wanted to come back to an alpha and i acted like damn beta. But if I go after her she'll see me as a desperate beta but if I don't she won't see that I changed and the only thing she'll remember when she thinks of me is my needy beta side.

What do you guys think I should do? I know I sound like I'm suffering from Oneitis but I just don't want 8 years to end because of circumstances and me acting like a beta when we got back together.