Paying For Dates

crimson_pill · 2015-08-19T15:44:50+00:00

Don't pay. Just say no. Your money is more important than hers.

If you are splitting the money on the first date go somewhere inexpensive for you. You have no reason to think she's worth a lot of money.

Don't see a movie. It's hard to talk. Just go get some dinner or go for a walk through town.

secret_barber · 2015-08-19T15:52:10+00:00

It doesn't really matter. The idea of not paying is to limit your overall expenses and avoid gold diggers. You can limit your expenses by choosing cheap date activities. With Tinder sluts, in particular, just grab a couple drinks, relocate back to your place and fuck. $25 ...big deal. At the same time, notice how she acts when the check comes. If she offers to buy, split or pick up the next tab, assign higher value towards a potential LTR candidate.

Another TRPer (long ago, I forget who) suggested you buy your own drinks in cash, as you order them - avoiding the whole tab issue.

halfunplugged · 2015-08-19T17:00:08+00:00

So I used to be really bad at this, and still need work for sure. Last night I had a girl come to my neck of the woods because a popular food truck was in the area. When we met up I was starving so we walked right to the food truck, I ordered. The lady taking my order looks at me, my date, and says 'Is that all?' and I just said "Yep!" and paid in cash. I could tell my date was a little taken aback but I just ignored it and acted like nothing out of the ordinary happened. and nothing out of the ordinary happened, it just felt that way thanks to decades of conditioning what 'dates' are supposed to be like.

The date went great after that, the girl did not seem to mind, and she actually went on to pay for most of the drinks we had at the bar afterwards (without prompting). I think girls respect that it's 'dutch', it fits the feminist 'I'm a strong independent woman' thing so their hamster makes it ok. If you start by paying though (like some of my plates) it leads to an assumption of you paying all the time, which I'm starting to get a little ticked off about with some of them.

PemBayliss · 2015-08-19T21:52:45+00:00

There's no "official" TRP stance.

My personal stance? A first date or a Tinder date should be drinks, for a couple hours. Put a two drink limit on it. You buy a round, she buys a round, etc. You buy her no more than two drinks that outing. Once she finishes the drinks, unless she's buying, date's over and you close out. That's more than enough time and money for her to decide whether (a) she wants to see you again and/or (b) sex is happening that night.

Drinks only, or a museum or walk around a scenic area. No food. No movie.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-08-19T22:38:51+00:00

Pick a weekday night. Pick a spot near your pad. Drinks/frozen yogurt/coffee but never food! If you haven't been to bed then there wont be any bread!

If its alcohol then just buy the first round and say "I'll get the first round". After you finish the first and its apparent the "date" will still go forward, then just be presumptuous and look at your empty glass and say something like "Ill take an IPA.". If anything else just buy it all especially if you're just looking at coffee or frozen yogurt, remember you picked a place close to your pad so the costs on trans is low. Never exceed $20.

Kino, kino, kino from start to finish. Make sure its a gradual build up. Always try to kiss her before leaving the venue and always invite her back to your pad. Points for trying.

Gawernator · 2015-08-19T20:53:43+00:00

So what if you're in a committed relationship and are considered the breadwinner? Wouldn't it be appropriate to pay for your woman

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-08-19T22:44:24+00:00

Never, especially a first date. Some of these chicks don't have to pay for food cause they have a constant stream of betas buying them dinner and lunches.

First date, and usually second date... park, beach, lake, mountain hike. Do something physical. By the 3rd date, all the going out pretense should be done with, and you should be going straight to her place, "to watch Netflix".

mustang_mike · 2015-08-19T23:23:55+00:00

Personally I try to see how much I can get them to pay for on the first date, both as a way to judge what kind of person they are and also to throw them off. Most women are used to getting things for free (especially on dates), so when I'm cocky and ask them when they're going to buy me a drink it's something they're not used to (and that discomfort works in your favor).

Met a girl off Tinder two nights ago at my usual spot. I bought my first drink before she showed up, and then she paid for the rest of our drinks that night. And wings, because she thought wings were good date food (wasn't meeting her for her intelligence). She started the night with a text saying "If I'm driving 20 minutes to see you then you're buying drinks". For me it's not about the money, it's a fun test of your game to see if you can flip the script on them and get practically thanked for it. Your mileage may vary, but it's never blown up in my face and I've never paid for more than my share on a first date.

Don't be a girl's piggybank, but don't be a boring tightwad. Spend money if you want to, but don't spend it if you don't want to just because you're on a date.

nubfilter · 2015-08-20T02:52:58+00:00

Sure, lets meet up after dinner and {insert activity that does not cost a lot here}

bmer92 · 2015-08-23T05:39:31+00:00

When I set up dates with plates or random girls I usually just bluntly say "We're going to X bring money"

The_BeardedGentleman · 2015-08-19T17:28:02+00:00

I either take chicks to the local brewery or a hookah bar. Both are chill and allow for being close while chatting and interacting, then maybe follow up with the beach for some late night shenanigans if I'm feeling it. Dinner kinda ruins that depended on the place, but you can always go somewhere dinner.

And I never pay for them, unless I'm like "I'm gonna go buy shots" or some shit. If they choose it, they pay for it.

Title	Paying For Dates
Author	Kim_Jong_illuminati
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	August 19, 2015 3:36 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3hlg8f/paying_for_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/paying-for-dates.152655 https://theredarchive.com/post/152655

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