Really wanting to get a divorce

GC0W30 · 2016-09-02T06:26:09+00:00

Your post-RP women will be way hotter than your pre-RP women.

It is dumb to hang on to the ones from before TRP.

So.... Divorce her, work hard, you can spend the next 30 years fucking women better than what you got now.

Without kids, there is no reason to stay with your BP-era wife.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-09-02T05:14:00+00:00

Think it over. Go talk to a lawyer...do NOT mention anything to her. If you're still in college with not much income, you can likely avoid getting ass-raped, financially, in a divorce.

2016-09-02T04:23:14+00:00

I was also married at 24 and daydreamed about the same thing for the last 80-90% of the marriage.

I didn't realize that I was depressed until I stopped having sex with her and physically moved away from her in the end--on her request. It was like a heavy fog was lifted. I had no weight on my shoulders when she was gone.

To be clear, midway, I felt so badly about hurting her that I confessed how I felt. I tried to use words and honesty because I cared about her. I just wanted something to change, but didn't understand what it was. I broke her worse than the way I found her. She didn't like the truth.

Then I decided to stay in my own unhappiness. It took another huge chunk of time for her to gather up the courage to leave me due to my unhappiness. I couldn't even pull the trigger.

Now I've never been happier in my life, but I lost close to a decade wasting my time with the wrong woman.

Danedina · 2016-09-02T06:31:23+00:00

You're not doing her any favors if you don't have feelings for her.

Take heart: research clearly shows now that women snap back from heartbreak much faster than men.

She will play the victim. Be supportive, tell everyone it was just a mistake and you want to give both of you a chance to start over. Keep your dick in your pants until it's over. Take your fair share, but don't stress over the possessions.

And for fuck's sake do not get married again!!!!!!

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2016-09-02T04:36:06+00:00

Oh I'm driving too fast in the neighborhood.

"Yep, it sure looks that way."

She does this because you reward her with drama and defensiveness for doing it, this reinforces her desire to feel superior/right.

stemgang · 2016-09-02T11:54:44+00:00

Let's see if I'm understanding....she is NOT doing everything in her power every day to make you grateful and wanting to stay married to her....

....and she has NOT yet trapped you with a child....

....and you are hesitating because?

quicklogaccount · 2016-09-02T12:50:30+00:00

I spent 6 years in a LTR that felt like a shitty marriage.
Game and RP improved things but I couldn't let go of the shitty past and feeling like we didn't belong together.

So, a few things. Answer these to yourself:
- Can she do anything to make it fulfilling?
- What would you need to do to make it fulfilling?
- Is it worth it to try?

My answers were:
She could undergo a complete personality reinvention and don't be so damn selfish, among many others. And threesomes.
I could have tried to leave the defensive field and forgive the shit she did to me (not cheating) to allow a connection to form between us again.
It wasn't worth trying. The relationship was never good enough for the effort I spent in it, let alone for trying to rekindle. She was not good enough to be an incentive, and there are so many other women around...

Take some time to ponder whether this is the best way for you. The rational certainty that you're unhappy and that is the best possible way to achieve it will be your only friend on the process of ending it.
If you still have a strong connection with her, you probably won't make it, and it might be worth putting some effort in making the marriage A LOT better before pulling the trigger.

2016-09-02T14:27:43+00:00

So... what's the problem here?

If you want to get a divorce, then get one. If you want to stay married, then stay married and make it the best marriage you can.

HOw can you say your wife "nags you about dumb shit" and when you think about leaving her, you feel bad, and "We are each other's life's even though we act basically like room mates at this point"?

You do realize that this:

We are each other's life's

is not consistent with this

even though we act basically like room mates at this point.

You need to decide what you want, and then go for that. You need to decide if you really want to stay married, or if you want to be unmarried. I will tell you that staying married because leaving your wife would "feel bad" is not a good reason to stay married. Having a woman be "your life" is not a good reason to stay married. It is not a good idea to make a woman "your life" in any event.

Decide what you want, and then make that happen. Get off the fence, decide what you want and what you will do, and then do and be that.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-09-02T17:42:25+00:00

You look at your wife, and see your own failures reflected back. That's what you see.

the first girl who throws a little at you gets your head in a tizzy. this isn't options, this is desperation.

Listen to Vas, do your prep work, know the risks and benefits. Guarantee that she gets her shit together if the alternative is losing a good man. And if not, you are already prepared.

ThisTension · 2016-09-03T04:42:46+00:00

Divorce is so good I've done it twice. Women change after marriage and then I walk away.

Never again.

immyownworstenemy · 2016-09-02T05:25:07+00:00

I understand your pain, believe me, but to be honest AWALT until you learn to start passing shit tests. If you just leave her, you will end up finding another woman that gives you this same problem. Instead, it sounds to me like you need to do some more PUA/TRP study. At least train your ability to pass those tests while she's around, and then leave her once youryour game has improved, if you still feel the same way after having adapted and improved.

Title	Really wanting to get a divorce
Author	baddmitch
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	September 2, 2016 4:05 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/50refp/really_wanting_to_get_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/really-wanting-to-get-a-divorce.110691 https://theredarchive.com/post/110691

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