I haven’t seen or contacted her in a year, was a cold dick to her when she called me out of the blue in May and complained that I’m no longer a source of attention, completely existed our former social circle, blocked her, and deleted her number and all our messages from my phone. Carried the mattress she gave me into the woods and ceramoneously burned it with gas. Had a rendezvous with the orbiter guy she blew me off for and had a laugh about being Eskimo brothers. I’ve make a commitment to permanently delete her from my life. For the first time in a year, I feel mentally ready to get out there again, and thanks to TRP, with a lot more knowledge than I had before. The only thing have left of her is the texts. Every word the biggest crush of my life ever wrote to me, the bad and the good. They’re sitting on an external HD in a shoe box, buried deep under a pile of shit in my room that I’ll never clean up. I haven’t read them in six months. I can’t stand to. I was initially saving them because they were precious, like baby pictures of an estranged child. Then I decided I needed to save them so I could prove how things started in case she ever accused me of some bullshit. Now that I’m 100% we’ll never cross paths again, that’s no longer an excuse. The only justifications I have left to keep them are that they are 1) very educational, and 2) part of the archeology of my life. 30 years from now I will remember that episode as one of the craziest experiences of my life. Yet I feel like they need to go. She is nothing to me anymore. I don’t even care enough about her to hate her anymore. Should I get rid of the last trace of her?